


Remember that you're mine...

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Bottom!Tyler, Dom/sub Undertones, Falling In Love, Fluff, Guns, Lovers to enemies to lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Top!Josh, Violence, daddy kink in the beginning, ends with heavy plot, i'm literally going to hell, joshs dad is a gun runner, lol, starts off with lots of smut, tyler's dad is head of a mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8402905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler's dad is head of the Ohio branch of the Lebanese mafia. Josh's dad is a gun runner for their rivals. They're sworn enemies. So why is Tyler doing everything he can to ensure that he wakes up in Josh's bed every morning?Trigger warnings? Also there's so much smut in this I'm (not) sorry!





	1. i. blue jeans, white shirt

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes, this is probably my longest fic ever and also my dirtiest, i'm literally going to hell for this but what can i say? joshler made me do it? idk anyway im sorry just HERE! take it it's your problem now!

He was staring again. Tyler shifted in the booth a bit, sipping slowly on his drink. A half-naked girl approached him, flicking her blond extensions over her shoulder and practically thrusting her chest into Tyler's face. He kept his eyes on her face as she leaned over to whisper all the dirty things she wanted to do to him. Tyler feigned interest, just enough that she would leaned over him, kissing messily along his neck. The whole time Tyler looked over at his admirer. The girl in his lap ground her hips against his, and for a second Tyler could no longer hide the spark of pleasure the friction had created, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them, he realised the other figure had disappeared. He cursed inwardly.  
"Trixie." The warm voice stopped the girl's ministrations looking up at where the voice had come from. "This one's busy." He said with a knowing look towards her. Tyler's heart raced in his chest as she nodded understandingly before getting up and immediately finding a new lap to occupy.  
The figure sat down in the booth next to Tyler, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt sleeves under his jacket.  
"I was wondering what took you so long." Tyler said boldly, his gaze fixed on a spot across the club. He willed the growing problem in his pants away.  
He simply huffed a low deep laugh. He was silent and unmoving for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a minute before his breath was suddenly in Tyler's ear, hot and heavy. A gentle hand placed on his thigh.  
"It seems you have a problem. Perhaps I could help?" Tyler gulped. If there hadn't been a problem before there certainly was now. He hissed as the other man lightly slid his hand up his thing before giving a hard squeeze far too close to the building pressure. Tyler hissed, finally turning to look into the brown eyes. Now they were so close, they were much lighter than they seemed across the room, the pupils blown with lust. Lip bitten in thought. He was so close their noses almost touched. Tyler nodded perhaps too eagerly. The other man smirked, chuckling lightly. "Follow me."  
Tyler's whole body was shaking, but he nodded and stood up, following the man through the club. A quick glance at his friend who stood at the bar told him that his friend knew what was happening. He was lead passed the platforms full of girls, through the small crowds of men watching them. It was like a zoo, animals in cages simply there for public entertainment, these sorts of places always rubbed Tyler up the wrong was. This club in particular was the last place you would expect him to be, and that's why it was perfect.  
He was lead through a curtain and then through a locked door, that required a key card to be swiped before opening. Suddenly he was in a bright hallway, his eyes took a second to adjust. The corridor was long with multiple rooms coming off it. He was lead further down it and then into one of the last rooms. As soon as he was inside he saw that the room looked like an interrogation room, Tyler's heart skipped, he felt sick.  
He turned to see the other man stood against the door, a dark look on his face. Tyler began to panic; he was an idiot. He was dead. Maybe that wasn't the worst thing that could happen. His mind was racing.  
"Wha-What's this?" He said shakily.  
He shook his head clucking his tongue like a scolding mother. He walked toward Tyler, who backed away, his heart was in his throat. It was like watching a lion corner a lamb. "We both know you know a lot more than just what this is, don't you Tyler." He stressed the use of his name, a name Tyler hadn't told him yet. Shit.  
"It's not what you think." He finally forced the words out past his constricting lungs. The other man raised an eyebrow and stopped his approach. "I –I'm not here for my dad, I'm –I"  
"Spit it out kitten." He replied slowly, practically spitting the words into Tyler's face as he finally had him pinned against the wall. Tyler's whole mouth went dry, his legs threatened to give out at the pet name. His mind was going haywire.  
"I really was here for- for" he struggled with the words, his whole face flushed as he gestured between their bodies. "that."  
"Forgive me if I don't trust that." He moved back slightly grabbing something off the table.  
"Josh." Tyler finally spat out the name, it had been on the tip of his tongue since they'd first locked eyes back out in the club. "Please." Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, cursing at how vulnerable he sounded. How weak his legs were, his palms and forehead clammy. A small voice in his head told him that his father would be so embarrassed and ashamed at the sight of him, an even bigger voice replied to it; Good.  
Josh abruptly turned to look at him, a look of amusement on his face.  
"Well, well, well, son of the Head of the Lebanese mafia wants to sleep with a Dun, how on earth do you get daddy's permission for that?" He cocked his head as he returned to his hard stance, pinning Tyler to the wall without even needing to touch him.  
"I didn't." Tyler felt his familiar cockiness return, he was good at getting what he wanted normally and if ever he needed that it was now. "He doesn't know anything about where I've been, he has no idea I'm here right now."  
"Well I don't think he'd be too happy about it, tell me why I shouldn't kick you out right now, or kill you even, for all I know you're lying and if you're not, what makes you think I want the hassle your little rebellion will bring into my lap."  
"Fuck" Tyler stressed the word, inching his face closer to Josh's so that as he spoke their lips almost grazed one another. "my father. He thinks he can control me, I want nothing more than to show him he's wrong."  
Josh swallowed slowly, his eyes narrowing as he mulled over his words. Tyler's breathing was laboured as he tried to grip the walls for purchase.  
"I'm gonna have to check you for wires, weapons and anything else you might be hiding from me." he glanced Tyler up and down, Tyler visibly relaxed. "Strip." The words were sudden and Tyler almost choked on them.  
they stared at each other for a few minutes, before Josh stood back his gaze intense and his stance patient.  
Tyler’s face felt hot as he slowly began pulling off his jacket and undoing his shirt. he dropped them to the floor, suddenly very self-conscious of his body. he missed the hitch in Josh's breath as he took in the different black patterns that ran across his tan skin.   
feeling bolder, Tyler held his eye contact as he undid his belt and dropped his trousers.  
Josh moved over to him, a dark look in his eye. he slid his hands up Tyler's arms.  
"Last chance to back out." Tyler fixed him with a determined look, he knew what he wanted. He closed the gap between them, Josh took a second to respond before suddenly he was pushing back with a force, pressing Tyler into the wall hard. Tyler let out a gasp and Josh took the opportunity to push his tongue past his now parted lips. Tyler’s senses were on fire. Suddenly Josh was shoving his hands above his head pinning his wrists with one hand, his lips not letting up their ministrations, as his free hand reached into his pocket for something. Tyler was lost in the overwhelming feel of Josh all over him, he moaned against his mouth until he felt something cool and hard encase his wrists, the loud click pulling him out of his reverie.   
Josh pulled away with a smirk. “Sorry kitten.” Tyler tried not to whimper at the nickname, why did it make his knees go weak, why couldn’t he control himself. “But I’m not taking any chances.” He stepped back and Tyler instinctively moved forward to follow the heat. He was stopped however by Josh pushing his hips, he held Tyler’s eye contact, signature smirk still in place. Slowly his cold fingers dipped below the waistband of Tyler’s boxers, he shivered, a low whine escaping his lips. He squeezed his eyes shut his face was so hot.   
Suddenly his boxers were yanked down leaving him completely exposed to the cool air of the room. There was a sharp intake of breath and a muttered “made for this.” He opened his eyes to see, Josh drinking in his naked and flushed skin. He tried to cover himself with handcuffed hands, but Josh yanked them back above his head, sucking Tyler’s bottom lip into his mouth and biting down on his hard. Tyler whimpered, his cock twitched against his stomach.   
“This way, kitten.” Josh had clearly already worked out that the pet name did something to Tyler and Tyler cursed himself for being so obvious. Josh suddenly was pulling him out of the room after he had toed off his shoes and stepped out of his clothes.   
Tyler was suddenly hyper-aware that he was in a hallway, that other people could easily walk out and see him, being dragged by handcuffed hands, completely naked and hard. Yet the thought also sent a thrill down his spine.  
Fortunately (or unfortunately Tyler wasn’t actually sure anymore) no one saw them as Josh led him up a staircase and along a hall to a lavish bedroom. Everything was red, the carpet, the walls, the sheets, it all screamed expensive but also added to the ambience of the club downstairs. It must’ve been over the club because Tyler could feel the heavy bass radiate through the floor.   
As soon as the door was shut behind him Tyler was shoved onto the bed. Josh pulled his jacket off dropping it onto the floor, toeing off his shoes. Tyler let out a whine at how slow Josh was being, he’d been hard for far too long.   
“So needy aren’t you?” Tyler flushed again, instinctively grinding his hips down into the bed sheets desperately. Josh chuckled and watched him struggle. Before slowly climbing onto the bed. Josh hooked Tyler under his shoulders and yanked him further up the bed, he undid one handcuff before throwing the key across the room, laughing at the panicked look on Tyler’s face. He hooked the cuffs around the metal headboard and reattached it to his other wrist, leaving Tyler trapped.   
“Please.” Tyler croaked out, his throat dry. He ground his hips up desperately, finally finding friction as his hard member ground against Josh’s own hardening crotch. Josh hissed at the sensation his eyes closing for a minute, it was Tyler’s turn to smirk now. The smirk quickly fell as Josh's eyes opened a predatory look over coming him now. He kissed Tyler forcefully, Tyler pushing back eagerly, pressing his tongue along Josh’s bottom lip desperate for entrance. He ground his hips up again causing Josh to place a firm grip on his hips, tight enough to bruise. Tyler moaned against his mouth.   
Suddenly Josh’s mouth was skimming along his jaw and down his neck, biting down into his pulse point, hips still rubbing together leading Tyler’s yelp of surprise to fade into a moan.   
Josh removed his shirt tossing it onto the floor and Tyler strained against the cuffs desperate to rake his hands down his lean pale torso. He was just able to lift his head enough to latch his lips around one of Josh’s nipples.  
“Fuck.” Josh moaned shifting up to allow Tyler more access, his hand running through Tyler’s hair as his tongue swirled around the sensitive flesh. He grazed it with his teeth and Josh pulled away with another moan, undoing his belt and trousers. He sat up to pull them off before hovering over Tyler again. “I’m going to fuck you so hard kitten, you’re not going to be able to walk for weeks.” Tyler moaned bucking his hips but Josh’s firm grip returned pinning him into the sheets.   
Josh reached over to the bedside table, picking out lube and a condom from the top drawer. He coated two fingers before kissing down the length of Tyler’s torso, starting at his Adam’s apple, then moving to each of his nipples causing him to whine desperately before kissing down his abs, he stopped right at the tip of Tyler’s cock, the head flushed and angry, leaking pre-come, with no warning Josh licked a stripe up it and Tyler choked out a moan tears beginning to form in his eyes, he was painfully hard.  
“Please, please Josh f-fuck.”   
“Call me daddy.” Tyler moaned loudly, nodding desperately, as his fingers circled around the tight ring of muscle.   
“Fuck d-daddy, please ohmygod please.” He kept up his rambles as Josh continued to tease, pressing light kisses to his dick, his fingers still circling the muscle, dipping into but never breaching. 

Suddenly he pushed one finger inside, pumping slowly as Tyler screamed in ecstasy and relief. Almost too soon he pushed in a second finger, finding Tyler’s prostate and rubbing circles over it. Tyler’s head was swimming, he couldn’t think straight, all he could do was keen and whimper and cry out and repeat the same four words over and over again; “Josh please fuck me”. 

Josh stilled his motions, not moving and Tyler almost burst into tears, he looked up at Tyler through his eyelashes. “That’s not my name kitten.” He smirked before running his tongue around the outline of Tyler’s cock, so close yet not actually touching it like Tyler desperately needed. 

“d-daddy.” Tyler could barely speak. Josh started moving his fingers again, painfully slowly, drawing lazy circles. 

“Tell me what you want.” Tyler choked on a moan as he tried to speak, he took a sharp breath as Josh gave a quick kitten lick to the tip of his cock. 

“I-I-“ 

“Come on baby boy, tell me.” Josh moved up Tyler’s body so he was on top of him, rubbing his nose up against Tyler’s own. The nickname alone had Tyler threatening to unravel there and then. 

“Not- not gonna last m-much longer ah!” Tyler finally spoke, Josh gave small pecks along his collarbone, before sucking a hickey into his pulse point, marking his territory. “please fuck me, ah, just like that please daddy.” His wrists strained against the cuffs, a few slow tears, escaped down his cheeks and Josh kissed them away. He removed his fingers from inside Tyler, who almost screamed at the loss.

“such a good boy. If only Mr joseph could see you now hm?” Josh nipped at his nose lightly before sitting back, Tyler whimpered at the loss of pressure, his entire body was on fire. 

Josh pulled his own boxers down, revealing his own painfully hard erection, as the cool air hit it he hissed, he grabbed the lube and stroked himself carefully hissing at the sensation, he was slightly bigger than Tyler and wider too, and Tyler couldn’t help but gape.

“Fuck, you look so good like that baby boy, it’s like you were made for this.” He stressed the last three words and Tyler whimpered, his hips bucking of their own accord. Josh slid on the condom and coated himself in lube with a few lazy strokes.  
“This might hurt kitten.” He said hovering back over him, pushing Tyler’s thighs apart. 

“hurt me.” Tyler said breathlessly looking up onto Josh's dark gaze. Josh moaned loudly his controlled façade faltering for a second. He pressed his tip against the tight ring of muscle. 

One arm rested by Tyler’s head to hold him up, the other gripped his hip adding a fresh set of bruises for sure. He nosed at a stray tear that escaped Tyler’s eye before pushing himself inside Tyler, Tyler keened bucking his hip causing Josh to end up buried to the hilt in one fluid motion, they both moaned loudly. 

“Fuck you’re so tight.” Josh moaned, his lips brushing Tyler’s their laboured breaths mingling. 

Tyler nipped at Josh’s bottom lip, bucking his hips desperate for Josh to move. Josh took the hint and pulled out almost completely before slamming back in. Tyler almost screamed, his moans all began merging together as Josh picked up a rhythm until there was just one constant sound escaping his lips which Josh swallowed as he kissed Tyler passionately. 

“Harder.” Tyler arched his back desperate to get Josh deeper. Josh picked up his pace, ramming into Tyler until the head of his cock was rubbing against that sweet spot that made Tyler see stars. “Fuck right there, yes, harder please.” His rambles continued as Josh found extra strength he didn’t know he had and pushed into Tyler harder, certain to leave bruises on his thighs from where his hips slammed into him repeatedly. 

Josh’s own head started to glow cloudy as he felt something grow tight in the base of his stomach. Lost in the feel of how tight Tyler was around him, the way he’s keened and begged getting under Josh’s skin in a way no one else ever had. He remembered Tyler’s breathless “hurt me” and moaned, reaching his hand up to encase Tyler’s throat. 

Tyler’s eyes went wide, but he bared his neck, inviting Josh to grip tighter and Josh moaned again. “Kinky little slut aren’t you?” Tyler tried to nod against the grip, swallowing hard, so far gone he couldn’t form words anymore.

Suddenly he felt the tightness in his stomach become unbearable and he squeezed out words passed Josh’s grip. “C-can I c-come daddy?” Josh moaned, this was obscene he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“hold off for me baby boy, not until I say okay?” Tyler attempted to nod again. A strangled moan escaping his lips as Josh picked up his pace with a new found vigour until he knew he was so close, he released Tyler’s throat, to reach down and grab his rock hard member, using his thumb to smear the pre-come around the head, Tyler bucked from sensitivity and it pushed Josh inside him so deep he almost lost it, he had to blink the stars from his eyes, a loud choked out moan escaping Josh. He couldn’t last any longer and he knew Tyler was desperate, so he leaned down kissing him fiercely.

“Cum for me.” He said against Tyler’s lips. With only a few more pumps of his hips and fist they were both tipping over the edge at the same time. Tyler screaming out Josh’s name and Josh moaning Tyler’s as they rode out their orgasms. 

Josh gave a few more shallow pumps as Tyler went limp underneath him, before pulling out and flopping down on the bed next to him. Both men gasping for breath. After a few minutes Josh removed the condom, getting up, tying it and throwing it in the bin in the corner. He grabbed the key from the floor and undid one cuff again, Tyler rubbed his raw wrists, but whined as Josh yanked at his arm, re-doing the cuffs. 

“Get some rest.” Josh said as he began re-dressing himself. He grabbed a tissue box and gently –much to Tyler’s surprise- cleaned up Tyler’s stomach where he’s spilled over himself. “I’ll decide what to do with you later.” Josh said as he grabbed his jacket, belt and shoes and walked out of the room. Tyler heard the door lock behind him and curled in on himself. 

He finally let the tears spill desperately, sobbing into the bright red pillows until he fell asleep.


	2. ii. walked into the room, you know you made my eyes burn

Tyler is woken by the door being unlocked. His clothes are tossed on top of him as he turns around to see Josh has changed into more casual clothing, a grey t-shirt and black jeans, his dark curls damp from a shower perhaps?

Slowly Tyler uncurls his stiff limbs, wincing at the pain that shoots up his spine. He begins to dress, realising how cold he is. Josh watches him the whole time, and Tyler swallows hard at the worry of what was about to happen. He struggles to pull his boxer up with his hands still cuffed and after struggling for what Josh deems is a sufficient amount of time, he leans over the bed and undoes one cuff, the close contact causing Tyler to freeze. Josh sits beside him holding out his shirt for him to slip on. Once most of his clothes are on the cuffs are reattached. 

“How long had you been planning this?” Josh finally cuts through the silence. Tyler finally looks up at him. 

“A while.” He muttered.

Josh chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “All this just to spite your father?” Tyler just stared in response. “See, I don’t buy that.” Tyler gulped and moved back slightly.

“At first I thought he would, well that he would notice I kept disappearing and send someone to follow me, see I was coming here and that would be enough.” Tyler spoke cautiously, his dark brown eyes fixed on Josh’s lighter ones. “But then, I noticed you and, and of course I knew who you were, but I couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to-to you know.” He shifted his cheeks burning red at the memory of their prior engagement. “So when my dad didn’t send anyone I thought, ‘he hasn’t noticed yet so what if I did something more’ cos that’s usually my luck, my last relationship was the same, he didn’t notice until we were sleeping together so.” He trailed of, Josh nodded following his thought.

“Hate to break it to you but no one followed you tonight.” Josh was so close, it made the hairs on the back of Tyler’s neck stand up. He felt that familiar cockiness return.

“Well then maybe I’ll just have to come back tomorrow.” 

“What makes you think I’d want to make this a regular thing?” Josh said abruptly, but his lips remained mere inches from Tyler’s. Tyler’s cocky attitude faltered for a brief second before it came back with a determined force. 

“You’re going to fuck me like that and then pretend like it wasn’t the best damn sex you’ve ever had?” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s like you said, I was made for this baby.” He let his lips brush Josh’s as he spoke, noticing the way Josh tensed as though trying to control himself. Tyler knew he was so close to convincing him, he just had to go the extra mile, so that’s what he did. He closed the gap, kissing Josh slowly, all teeth and tongue , shuffling as best he could so that he was sat in Josh’s lap, straddling him, his cuffed hands trapped between their bodies, latching onto Josh’s t-shirt to pull him ever closer. Josh finally remembered himself and brought a hand up to Tyler’s throat, gripping it firmly and pushing his head away, Tyler whimpered as he felt his fingers press into the bruises that littered his neck. 

“Time to go, kitten.” Josh’s teeth grazed Tyler’s bottom lip before he was pushing him off his lap and standing up. He waited for Tyler to tie on his shoes before leading him by the cuffs back down the hallway to the door that lead out to the club. He smirked at the slight limp in Tyler’s step but said nothing. Waiting there was a bouncer, who nodded and swiped his card to unlock the door. 

“Michael will escort you out.” Josh said roughly pulling on Tyler’s arm so that he turned to face him, he unlocked the cuffs and Michael herded him through the open door. He placed a hand on Tyler’s arm guiding him past the still dancing girls and out the entrance into the cold winter air. 

Tyler pulled his jacket over his shoulders with a shiver, checking the pockets for all his belongings, which, thankfully, were still there. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and text his friend from earlier. He started walking away from the club, aware of the bouncers on the door watching him.

His phone buzzed and he answered it immediately.

“Where are you?” 

“They kicked me out, I’m walking to the corner, pick me up?”

“Already there.” Then the line went dead.

Tyler jogged down the street, ignoring the pain. Sure enough on the street corner was a sleek black car, lights on and engine running. Tyler opened the door and climbed inside, he’d barely shut the door before the car was speeding off down the road. 

“So?”

“So what Mark?” Tyler fixed him with a look.

“You were in there for almost four hours, what happened?” Mark kept his eyes fixed on the road, one hand resting casually over the steering wheel. Had it really been four hours, how long had Josh let him sleep? More importantly why had he let him sleep at all?

“Nothing, we uh, ya know and then I fell asleep.” Tyler brushed it off like it was nothing but Mark stared at him incredulously before returning his attention to the road again. 

“You fell asleep?! Dude tell me you’re joking?” Tyler shrugged.

“I didn’t really mean to it just sort of, I don’t know, it just happened. Now would you slow down, we’re gonna crash or something jeez!” Tyler tried to ignore the blush rising in his cheeks.   
After some time, Mark broke the uncomfortable silence. “So, did he buy it?”

“Yeah, I mean I told him I wanted to get back at my dad and I mean that’s not entirely a lie.”

“Oh man, this is so crazy. I can’t believe you slept with Joshua Dun, like if your dad did find out about this I mean-”

“He’s never going to know okay. Not until it’s done at least.” Tyler cut Mark off, fixing him with a determined look.

“But surely Zack will just-” Mark countered but Tyler cut him off again.

“Zack can never know either, are you kidding me? He’d tell dad immediately and then when dad was done skinning me he’d help hang me out to dry.” Mark shuddered at the imagery before raising a hand defensively.

“Hey, top secret. I won’t say a word okay.”

“Good. Thank you.”

Just then they pulled up to Tyler’s house, a large mansion surrounded by huge black gates and high brick walls with round the clock security. 

Upon seeing the pair security waved them through the gates. As Mark pulled into the garage Tyler noticed his sister stood waiting for him. Tyler was about to get out the car when Mark stopped him.

“Dude, your collar. Do it up, your neck is ruined, apparently Dun likes to bite.” Mark wiggled his eyebrows as Tyler slapped a hand over his mouth. 

“If you don’t shut up I will key your car.”

“You would not.” Mark replied once Tyler removed his hand to do up his collar button. Tyler fixed him with a determined look, he knew how much Mark loved his car. 

As soon as he got out of the car, Maddie pounced on him. 

“Tyler where exactly have you been?!” She sighed folding her arms.

“Out.” He snapped back in a fake angry manner, teasing his sister.

“I can tell. You both stink of alcohol.” Tyler raised his eyebrows at Mark, who shrugged. Neither of them had drank anything but they weren’t about to tell Maddie that, so they went with it. “Anyway, the suit tailor is here and he needs to measure you both.”

“Ah yes, wedding suits, who wouldn’t want to spend their 2ams being measured for a suit.”  
Tyler replied sarcastically, passing his sister and heading inside the house. She simply glared at him and began to follow.

“Who measures suits at 2am?” Mark muttered.

“Mafia tailors apparently.” Tyler replied with an eye roll. 

They continued down the hallway before walking into a large study, the walls were covered from floor to ceiling with deep brown bookshelves filled with old leather bound and hardback books. 

There were worn green leather couches facing each other a desk made of the same brown oak situated perpendicularly to them. At the desk sat Zack, his legs resting on the table, he looked thoroughly bored as in the middle of the room Mr Joseph stood on a raised circular platform while an elderly gentleman measured him. 

“Ah boys! So nice of you to join us finally.”

“Hello father.” Tyler mumbled before plopping himself down on one of the couches. 

“I don’t remember giving you permission to leave the house this evening.” His father raised an eyebrow, his tone authoritative. 

“Really?” Tyler picked at his nails faking disinterest. “I must’ve forgot to ask.”

“Tyler Robert Joseph.” The sound of his name boomed through the room causing everyone to look up in fear. A slither of ice shot itself down Tyler’s spine as his eyes snapped up at his father’s large towering figure, the platform only serving to make him loom higher over his son. “I make the rules in this house, you do not disrespect me. Understood.”

“Yes father.” Tyler clenched his fists so tight the knuckles went white, anger bubbling up inside of him. He wanted to stand up and scream about how he was twenty-five years old he didn’t need to ask for permission from anyone, he wanted to punch the authoritarian look right off his father’s face, and most of all he wanted to storm out. But instead he remained sat there, silently seething. 

Once it was Tyler’s turn to be measured his father, assumed his seat at his desk, Zack scurrying to the couch desperate to avoid his wrath. Tyler stood silently, stifling a yawn, exhausted from the day’s events. He willed his mind to keep from drifting back to the memory of Josh pressed up against him, the way his fingers squeezed his throat or how he bared his teeth when he called him ‘kitten’. Tyler knew he was about to blush, and thought of sad things in the hopes that it would help. Suddenly his father spoke up. 

“Since Zack has a date, I’ve arranged one for you.” Tyler’s head snapped up, about to protest before his father’s gaze alone forced him to back down. “Senator Morgan’s daughter. This is an important deal, Tyler so you will not fight me on this. You owe it to the family.”   
Tyler felt that anger bubble again, he owed nothing to no one, certainly not the ‘family’. He knew what his father intended in the long run, sure it was a date to a wedding now, but then it would be Christmas’ and Thanksgivings and then it would be another wedding, but this time his own. He imagined what his father might think if he turned up with Josh instead. Revelling in the satisfaction he would get from the look on his father’s face; priceless. But ultimately his father would probably kill Josh on sight, and then drag out Tyler’s own death. 

He pushed the thoughts aside, still not sure why he was imagining Josh being his date somewhere, he had to stop daydreaming and focus on the plan. 

After he had been measured for his suit, he was allowed to go to bed, Mark followed after him.

“That was intense are you okay?”

Tyler nodded as he continued walking up the stairs and towards his bedroom. He was exhausted but determined more than ever. 

“When isn’t anything involving my dad intense?”

Mark titled his head in agreement. “True.”

“Anyway,” Tyler stopped outside his bedroom door. “I’m going back tomorrow will you drive me again?”

Mark shook his head. “You’re absolutely insane, and if this backfires I am not dying for you, you know that right?” Mark wasn’t really joking but Tyler laughed regardless.

“Come on dude, please?” 

Mark rolled his eyes sighing. “Ugh, fine.”

Tyler gave him a brief hug, patting him on the shoulder before entering his room. He locked the door behind himself, quickly stripping of his clothes for the second time that evening and promptly collapsing on the bed before practically passing out. Tomorrow was indeed, going to be an interesting day.


	3. iii. it was like James Dean, for sure

The next night Tyler had Mark drop him off two blocks away from the club, he headed to another club first swiftly moving and walking through the heavy crowds of dancing people, he ducked and weaved through the crowd, eyes vigilant for anyone who might be following him. He let a bachelorette party encase him for a few seconds, the girls in tight black dresses with pink cowgirl hats and tiaras all screaming the lyrics to the cheesy song that was playing, sure he had clearly shaken anyone who might have been following he found his way to a fire exit at the back of the building. It led into an alleyway that he almost jogged down before heading towards the strip club aptly named ‘The Red Room’. 

Tyler had deliberately waited until much later in the night this time, it was almost 3am but he was too high on nerves to even remotely feel tired. He had had to wait to sneak out until his father had thought he was asleep. The club was significantly busier than last time due to the hour but the booth he had sat in last time appeared to be free. Tyler detoured by the bar for a stiff drink which he downed like a shot before he nursed a second sat in the booth. 

He didn’t have to wait long before Josh was appearing out of thin air and practically storming over. Tyler gulped at the intense gaze he was under but buried his reservations deep down and sat up straighter as Josh finally slipped into the seat next to him. 

The booths were curved, with plush red leather seats and a red clothed table that the seats wrapped in half-moons around. They were carved into the walls, lining the whole club, each one had a low ceiling and mood lighting and a heavy red curtain that could be drawn for privacy. 

Josh stared at Tyler while Tyler stared ahead of himself. 

“You came back then? I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna.” Josh laughed almost wickedly. Tyler’s hands were shaking but he steadied himself enough slowly placing a hand on Josh’s knee. He felt him tense under his fingers, _got you_. His gaze never left the other side of the room as he inched his hand up painfully slowly. 

“Now why would you think that?” He teased, his hand getting ever closer but just stopping short of the area he knew Josh really wanted him to touch. He began squeezing and needing his hands into Josh’s inner thigh causing the older male to shiver and bite his lip. 

After a particularly close brush of Tyler’s hand Josh grabbed his wrist forcefully causing Tyler to let out a small squeak of surprise. 

He motioned as though he was about to lead Tyler out of the booth but before he could so much as stand up Tyler was slipping off the seat and under the table cloth. In his shock Josh let go of Tyler’s wrist, eyes going wide. 

Tyler simply smirked as he positioned himself on his knees between Josh’s legs, slowly running his hands up and down Josh’s thighs. Josh shifted nervously checking around to see if anyone could see them. Tyler shook his head as he began slowly undoing Josh’s belt. He had picked a booth sufficiently far enough back that no one would really have reason to be looking over at it. Tyler felt a little thrill spark in his stomach as he moved to pop the button on Josh’s trousers. Josh’s hands were encasing his wrists again. 

“Not here.” Although his tone was serious, there was a glint in his eyes that dared Tyler to continue, his grip giving minimal resistance as he continued to work the zipper of Josh’s pants down. 

“What’s wrong Daddy?” Tyler looked up at him innocently through his lashes. Josh’s hard on strained against his boxers as he bit back a moan. 

“You’re such a bad little kitten aren’t you?” Josh’s eyes grew dark with lust as Tyler began nudging at his dick through his boxers, he ran his nose up the length before mouthing at the tip turning the fabric wet with a mix of pre come and spit. 

“So bad.” Tyler hummed as his hands moved to slip under the waistband of Josh’s boxers. In one swift motion Tyler pulled him free of his underwear causing Josh to hiss as the cool air hit it. He gave another survey of the room to make sure no one had seen yet, thankful for the long tablecloths. “Want you to punish me.” Tyler said gripping the base of Josh’s dick and shuffling closer to it. “Want you to fuck my mouth.”

“I bet you do, slut.” He popped the ‘t’ sound, his voice practically a growl and Tyler felt it go straight to his own dick. He pumped his hand a few times, running his thumb over the tip, smearing pre come around it, Josh bit his lip hard to stifle his moans. 

Holding Josh’s eye contact Tyler dipped his head and placed a light kiss to the tip causing Josh to shudder. He gave a small, slow kitten lick to it next, tongue dipping ever so briefly into the slit. He felt Josh’s fingers thread through his hair giving an insistent tug, his eyes pleading. Tyler smirked giving his hand a few more agonisingly slow pumps. 

“Stop teasing, kitten.” His tone was threatening and it sent shivers of arousal through Tyler. Tyler fluttered his eyelashes innocently before sucking the tip into his mouth swirling his tongue around it, occasionally dipping it into the slit. Josh’s grip tightened in his hair, nails scratching at his scalp slightly. 

“You taste so good.” He barely removed his mouth as he spoke, his lips brushing the tip, breath tickling. Josh let out a quiet breathy whine. He was suddenly very glad he was sitting down. 

Then, with no warning Tyler took his whole length into his mouth, the sensation caused Josh to buck his hips automatically as it ripped an almost too loud moan from his throat. Tyler resisted the urge to gag, and focused on ever so slowly pulling his head back, letting Josh’s length move out of his mouth. Josh wanted to scream as Tyler let his tongue swirl around the tip once again before taking him all the way again, nose touching skin as his throat closed around Josh. Josh couldn’t see straight anymore the feeling was driving him crazy. His grip on Tyler’s hair released as Tyler pulled away again, but then Tyler was moving his own hands pushing Josh’s hands against his scalp a silent direction to take control.

A low groan slipped out of Josh’s parted lips, as he complied, pushing Tyler’s head back down. Tyler started to pick up a faster pace, cheeks hollowed, sucking hard. Occasionally Josh would scratch his scalp or push him a little harder or buck his hips to push himself in deeper and the sensation only made Tyler moan around him, the vibrations only increasing his pleasure tenfold. 

Tyler never broke eye contact as he kept up his pace, taking him all the way in like it was nothing, Josh couldn’t tare his eyes away, a tugging sensation beginning to grow in his abdomen. 

“I’m – I think I’m – g-gonna cum, baby boy.” He said breathlessly, Tyler hummed, mouth still wrapped around Josh and it caused the older man to throw his head back. Tyler pulled off almost completely, kissing and sucking at just the tip, working his hand up and down painfully slowly once again, occasionally twisting his hand in just the right way. Tyler sucked the tip into his mouth working his tongue slowly, before picking up another fast pace as he took josh fully inside his mouth once again. Josh almost choked at the suddenness, he was painfully close. 

He went back to watching Tyler, just making out the obscene sucking noises under the heavy beat of the club music. His vision went hazy for a brief second as Tyler’s throat closed around him yet again, his hips bucked and Tyler gagged but composed himself quickly. Josh almost came right then, he tried to pull Tyler off, no longer able to form words. 

Tyler got the hint but shook his head, working him with his hand and mouth at the same time. With a low guttural moan, Josh was crying out Tyler’s name and came down his throat, almost screeching with over sensitivity as he felt Tyler work him through it with his hand, swallowing around him. 

Tyler pulled off him with a pop, before tucking him back into his boxers and zipping his trousers back up. Josh sat slumped in his seat breathing heavy, watching him through hooded eyes. Tyler got out from under the table and dusted down his knees. He smirked at Josh.

“Well, that was fun, maybe I’ll do that again sometime.” He turned to step down from the booth when he was stopped by Josh’s iron grip on his wrist. 

“We’re not done.” Josh replied, his voice a little hoarse but firm. The dark lustful look in his eye made Tyler shudder. 

Josh pulled him closer before saying in a low authoritative voice, “close the curtains, kitten.”

Tyler swallowed hard, nodding as Josh let his wrist go and doing as he commanded. He closed the heavy red curtains around them, scanning the club for anyone watching them first just to be safe, but it was all clear.

Before he had barely even finished closing the curtains he felt Josh yank him by the arm until he was hovering over Josh. Josh’s hand snaked around to the back of Tyler’s neck, forcing him closer so that Josh could kiss him, as soon as Tyler’s lips responded, Josh deepened the kiss, pushing Tyler’s jacket off his shoulders. As Tyler’s hands came up to run through Josh’s hair, his own hands slipped down until they were on his ass. He squeezed and Tyler gasped into his mouth. 

Josh used his grip to guide Tyler onto his lap so he was straddling him, now that they were pressed flush against one another, Tyler could feel the affect early events had had on Tyler. His moan getting lost in the battle of teeth and tongue and lips. Josh let his mouth wander along Tyler’s jaw and down onto his neck, he bit at the skin causing Tyler to let out a small yelp. Josh only smirked before sucking bruises onto the ones his hand had left yesterday. 

Involuntarily Tyler ground out his hips, desperate for some kind of friction. Josh moved his hand down to palm him through his trousers. 

“Please.” Tyler pleaded his forehead resting on Josh’s shoulder . 

Josh moved his mouth to Tyler’s ear so that as he spoke his teeth grazed the lobe causing Tyler to whine, “Tell me what you want, Babyboy. Tell me what you want me to do.”

Tyler couldn’t breathe. 

“T-touch me.” He choked out, squeaking as Josh bit down hard on his neck again. 

“What's the magic word?” Josh spoke against Tyler’s skin. His hand rubbing down a bit harder. 

“Pl- ah- please.” Tyler whined, he was desperate for more. Josh chuckled and shook his head, biting down hard enough he almost drew blood, he licked over the sensitive patch of skin feeling Tyler tremble under his touch. 

“That’s not the right word kitten.”

“D-daddy?” Josh paused his ministrations.   
Tyler almost cried with relief as he felt Josh begin to undo his trousers. 

“Good boy.” Josh captured his lips in another kiss. 

With no warning Josh pulled Tyler free of his boxers, Josh pulled away from Tyler.

He held up his hand looking at Tyler with a dark look. 

“Spit.” He commanded. Tyler moaned loudly and complied, this was dirty and obscene and he couldn’t stop himself from loving it. “Such a dirty little slut.” He ran his thumb over Tyler’s bottom lip as Tyler nodded eagerly.

“Only for you, Daddy.” Tyler whispered out, any and all self-control had long left him, his head was so fuzzy from the sensations he was feeling. Sensations like Josh’s now slicked hand gripping his length firmly. 

Josh started a slow pace, teasing him much like Tyler had done. He rubbed his thumb over the slit, smearing pre-come around it as Tyler clung tightly to his shoulders. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. 

“Louder baby, I just love those noises you make.” Josh spoke lowly into his ear, his free hand coming down to place a hard slap on his ass, ripping a scream from Tyler that faded into a moan. He brought his hand down a second time causing Tyler’s grip on his shoulders to tighten. Josh went back to setting a slightly faster rhythm as Tyler began to buck his hips up to meet every stroke. 

He let out a breathy whine as Josh used his free hand to tug Tyler’s head back and suck yet another mark into his neck. 

Tyler, kissed Josh furiously, after yet another slap to his ass using each thrust of his hips to push his body closer to Josh’s, he began undoing Josh’s shirt, letting his hands roam all over his exposed chest. Josh groaned and picked up his pace, pumping Tyler hard as Tyler ground his hips out. 

The intimacy, along with the desperate band and the perfect occasional twists of Josh’s wrist had Tyler reaching his edge sooner than he thought. 

“D-daddy.” He mumbled against Josh’s mouth, Josh groaned at the name. 

“What baby?” He littered his jawline with kisses pumping harder. 

“Ah-g- gonna cum.” Tyler just about managed to force the words out.

_“Cum for me baby boy.”_ Josh growled into his ear and just like that Tyler was screaming Josh’s name as he came in ribbons over Josh’s fist and onto Josh’s bare stomach. Tyler’s nails digging into Josh’s shoulders so hard they probably drew blood, it send a shiver through josh as he continued to work him through his orgasm. 

Once he finished, Josh reached behind Tyler for a napkin and cleaned himself up, Tyler weakly tucked himself back into his trousers. Josh search his eyes. Tyler could tell he was checking he was alright and it made something in his stomach feel funny. 

Then Josh was kissing him slowly, as though suddenly cautious and shy. Tyler sighed into the gentleness, he was already becoming so familiar with the small tingling sensation Josh’s kisses sent through his body. Josh picked him up by his hips and roughly set him on the chair next to him before pulling away. 

He stood up swiftly, a smirk playing across his lips, as Tyler looked up confused.

““Well, that was fun, maybe we’ll do that again sometime.” Josh echoed Tyler’s earlier words before turning on his heal, tearing the curtains open and walking away. 

“What the fuck?” Tyler almost laughed to himself, shaking his head and getting up. He headed out of the club still baffled by Josh’s abrupt exit. He dialled Mark as he pulled his jacket back on. 

“Yo, done so soon?” Mark answered almost immediately. 

Tyler rolled his eyes, walking back on the route he’d arrived on. “shut up, come get me already it’s freezing.”

“Maybe you should ask your new sugar daddy for a coat next time.” Mark joked, but Tyler winced as he remembered how many times he’s called Josh daddy over the past hour. 

Tyler gave an overdramatic laugh before replying, “You’re so funny wow.” He deadpanned. “Now hurry up, asshole.” He hung up before Mark could question whether the joke had hit close to home, that was the last thing he needed. 

He needed a cold shower and his bed and to figure out a way to stop his head from waging some kind of war on itself. He needed to distance himself from anything that reminded him of Josh Dun and his perfect teeth, and the mess of dark curls that fell across his forehead, and the tiny freckles that littered his chest like constellations, cascading down over his toned abs too. Yeah, he really _really_ needed a cold shower.


	4. iv. you're so fresh to death and sick as cancer

Tyler went back to the club again a few days later, he had just reached the bar when the bartender slipped him a napkin. He opened it to find a scrawled note on it, instructions to go to one of the ‘rooms’ at the back of the club. Tyler looked up at the bartender who simply pointed to curtained off doorway. At that precise moment one of the scantily clad performers was leading a gentleman through it. Tyler shuddered but nodded his thanks before heading to the doorway. 

Behind the curtain was a long corridor, like everything else, it was deep red with similar red curtained doorways along it. 

He had no idea which one he was meant to go into but it didn’t matter because he was only half way down the hallway before he heard his name said firmly over the muffled bass of the club music. 

He turned around to see Josh crook a finger for him to follow him. Tyler furrowed his brow but complied. He was led back to the same heavy metal door he’d been lead through the first time he’d slept with Josh, except this time Michael, the big bodyguard who once had escorted him out of the club was waiting, he swiped his key card to open the door letting Josh through but stopping Tyler, he pushed his arms out and frisked him searching for weapons or recording devices or anything, Tyler’s phone was the only thing he found and he decided he would hang onto it, Tyler looked at Josh who simply looked back at him conveying everything in a single look that said ‘deal with it or go home.”

Tyler decided not to protest and was finally allowed through the door. Once in the familiar hallway Josh took his hand his touch was always so gentle when he did that and it made Tyler confused. Why was he always so gentle around the edges, when he wasn’t slipping into the dom persona that made Tyler’s legs give out he was always treating him like he was fragile, but why would he care about Tyler? _They were enemies right? Tyler was just using him to piss off his dad and josh was just using him to get off, right? This arrangement was nothing more than hate sex surely, wasn’t it?_

Tyler himself no longer knew how he wanted those answers to be and that terrified him. He swallowed the lump in his throat, focus on the plan Joseph. He berated himself as Josh pulled him into the interrogation room he’d been pulled in the first time, everything seemed to echo that first night. 

His mind was ripped from his reverie, as Josh looked at him hungrily and began stripping him. He pushed his jacket off his shoulders and then grabbed the collar of Tyler’s shirt until their lips crashed together, Tyler responded immediately fighting for dominance briefly in the hopes that it would get Josh riled up, it worked as he felt Josh growl in the back of his throat and push Tyler back against the wall. Tyler gasped, which Josh easily swallowed, as his back came roughly into contact with the cool hard surface of the wall. Tyler’s hand scratched deliciously at Josh’s scalp and he could help but moan at the sensation, his own hands moving to pin Tyler’s hips between his own and the wall. He ground his hips immediately feeling Tyler’s own crotch push back as a pressure began to build in both of their pants. Josh began unbuckling Tyler’s belt and within seconds his trousers were undone. Without breaking the heated kiss still, Josh let Tyler step out of his trousers himself as he made work of the buttons on his shirt. He didn’t pull away until Tyler stood before him in his just his boxers, he looked absolutely wrecked, chest heaving lips swollen and cheeks flushed. Josh was no better; his hair was sticking up all over the place his shirt dishevelled. He drank in Tyler’s appearance as he felt his cock twitch excitedly, Tyler shrunk under the intensity of it before he remembered himself. 

“Miss me?” he replied cockily a smirk forming on his face. Josh flushed for a second and Tyler pretending like him getting caught off guard like that wasn’t cute enough to make his heart skip.

“You wish.” Josh snapped back as he shed his jacket. He walked over to Tyler roughly grabbing his wrists and holding them above Tyler’s head as he kissed him slowly this time, drawing out the feeling of his tongue sliding over Tyler’s. Tyler moaned as Josh pulled back.

“Keep your hands up there for me kitten.” Josh instructed, he slid his arms slowly down the length of Tyler’s torso, his lips connecting with Tyler’s collarbone, teeth grazing skin. Tyler whimpered as he bit down a bit harder. Josh moved his hands around to his back, slowly pushing them below the waistband of his boxers his cold hands squeezing down on his ass cheeks. Tyler gasped loudly, whining as Josh squeezed him a bit more before moving a finger between the cheeks to press a cold digit against the tight ring of muscle. Tyler moaned loudly. His back arching, pressing him further against Josh Tyler’s arms dropping to Josh’s hair almost immediately Josh stopped his ministrations on Tyler’s neck and ass to look at him. He removed his hands from Tyler’s underwear to pin his wrists forcefully back above his head. Tyler shivered. “That’s not what we agreed kitten, I guess I’m going to have to punish you now.” Josh sighed one finger skimming down the side of Tyler’s arm before running along his jaw. He hooked it around Tyler’s chin, pulling him in for a slow peck before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting down on it. Tyler bucked his hips frantically, his crotch trying desperately to find some sort of relief. Josh stepped back causing Tyler to whine. 

With hooded eyes Josh removed his belt, his eyes never breaking their intense gaze, Tyler swallowed hard as he slowly drew the belt from his belt loops. Once it was free he grabbed one of Tyler’s wrists and spun him round so it was pinned behind his back, he took the other and used the belt to tie his wrists together. Josh studied Tyler’s face as he tightened the belt, as soon as he saw the slight flash of pain over his expression he decided it was tight enough and fastened it. He pressed himself into Tyler’s back sliding his hands down Tyler’s front, hands slipping under the band of his boxers, Tyler practically screamed when Josh gripped his hard length firmly. He tried desperately to buck up into Josh’s unmoving hand but failed, instead he ground his ass back into Josh’s own hard length causing him to bite down into Tyler’s shoulder. Tyler moaned loudly. 

“You’re being too loud baby boy, anyone might hear you.” He berated as he pressed soft kisses along his shoulder blade. With no warning he let go of Tyler and yanked down his boxers exposing him to the cool air of the room. 

He spun him around kissing him hard once again as he pulled his tie loose and began unbuttoning his shirt. Tyler pushed himself forward trying to get as close to Josh as possible, so that all he could see and hear and feel and taste was just _josh josh josh_. He moaned as he felt Josh drop his shirt and trousers to the floor. 

Josh pulled away gasping for air, resting his forehead against Tyler’s. He finally pulled his tie completely off his body and bundled it up. He moved Tyler over to the table, kicking the chair out the way. He kissed him passionately again before stuffing the tie into Tyler’s mouth causing his moan to be muffled. “You like that don’t you?” Tyler nodded, breathing laboured breaths through his nose. Josh shook his head with a chuckle. “kinky slut.” He smacked Tyler’s ass hard causing him to whine and bend over the table out of reflex. He moaned as he felt Josh run his fingers down Tyler’s spine before landing yet another smack to his already reddening cheek. Tyler whimpered around the gag. Josh removed his own underwear and retrieved something from his jacket on the floor before he was pressing himself up against Tyler so the younger brunette could feel his hard length pressing against the cleft of his ass. Tyler moaned desperately trying to grind his hips back against Josh. 

“If you don’t keep the noise down kitten I might have to just take you now,” he leant forward pressing Tyler further into the harsh cold metal of the table practically resting his naked chest on Tyler’s bare back, his skin on fire at the contact. “dry.” He hissed directly into Tyler’s ear before pulling away. Tyler turned his head and gave him a look that said ‘you wouldn’t dare.’ Josh simply laughed, a deep throaty laugh as Tyler tried not to choke around the tie shoved inside his mouth. Josh ran his hand along Tyler’s spine to sooth him as Tyler heard the sound of a cap popping and he sighed with relief. Josh used the lube he’d grabbed from his jacket earlier to slick up his fingers. He knelt down and spread Tyler’s cheeks apart, licking a stripe over the tight ring of muscle. Tyler’s legs were shaking with arousal. Josh pushed his tongue inside and Tyler began to unravel in his arms, whining and keening and pushing his hips to grind down into Josh’s mouth. Josh pulled away and Tyler whined at the loss, causing Josh to smack his ass hard as a warning for being too loud. 

But all too soon Josh was pushing a finger inside him, pumping slowly as Tyler moaned. After a moment he added a second finger and then a third, finding Tyler’s prostate and rubbing circles over it. Tyler wasn’t going to last much longer, and honestly neither would Josh so he pulled out his fingers and reached for a condom, quickly adding more lube and standing up. He pushed a hand down into the small of Tyler’s back as he guided his tip until it was resting against Tyler’s hole. He waited for a minute teasing, but Tyler was too desperate, he pushed back hard forcing the head of Josh’s cock inside of himself. Both men moaned loudly at the sensation, Josh falling on top of Tyler’s back at the sensation. Tyler took advantage and shoved his hip back further taking even more of Josh’s length.

“Fuck, you’re still so tight.” Josh moaned into his ear, Tyler whimpered. He was desperate. Josh regained his composure standing up and pushing himself in further until he bottomed out. He waited until Tyler was writhing under him to pull out almost completely before slamming back in. Tyler screamed around the gag almost choking on it as Josh began to set a hard and fast rhythm. 

Tyler arched his back desperate to take Josh deeper, it caused him to brush the head of his cock against his prostate. He moaned loudly, indicating to Josh that he’d found that sweet spot. He picked up his pace never failing to miss it, his fingers bruising Tyler’s hips and he pulled him in to meet each thrust. 

Josh pulled Tyler’s hair forcing him up, he pulled the gag from his mouth and Tyler took a deep breath at the freedom before Josh was kissing him, re-angling his hips to thrust so far into Tyler he thought he saw stars. 

“I’m c-close” Tyler managed to breath out between heady kisses. “pl- _ah_ -please tou-ch me daddy.” Josh smirked kissing his lips again sloppily before dropping Tyler back onto the table with a surprisingly soft thud. 

“I want you to come, untouched baby.” Josh said his thrusts picking up vigour. Tyler moaned but thrust his hips back to meet Josh. Both of them moaning over the sound of skin hitting skin. “Think you can do that for me?” Josh continued and Tyler nodded weakly. 

Josh continued his relentless pace until Tyler was his arm muscles rippling as he tried to move them out of the restraints. Josh bit down on his lip. 

“Ty, I’m close.” Josh panted out, Tyler wasn’t sure when he last used his name but it sent a jolt through him. He nodded. 

“I’m gonna-” Tyler moaned loudly hips stuttering between thrusts. 

“Go ahead kitten, you earned it.” Josh said bending to kiss the back of his neck, picking up his pace once again. Tyler came with a scream of Josh’s name, almost screaming as Josh fucked him through his orgasm. Tyler tightened around him and that was enough to push him over the edge, he came hard folding himself over Tyler’s back their sweaty bodies pressed tightly together. Josh bit down into Tyler’s shoulder as Tyler ground his hips in lazy circles working him through his high. 

They stayed like that a few minutes, panting heavily, Josh still inside Tyler. Then with some sweet kissed to his shoulder Josh released Tyler from his restraints, he flexed his wrists as Josh stood up fully and slowly removed himself from Tyler. Tyler cautiously stood up his ass already starting to hurt. Josh began sorting through the mess of clothes on the floor handing him anything that was his. Tyler began to redress as he watched Josh remove the condom and throw it in the bin in the corner. Josh only bother to half dress, but he waited for Tyler to get all of his clothes back on before he spoke. 

“What are we doing?” He sounded tired. 

“I don’t know.” Tyler whispered, as though scared of the words. 

Josh leant against the edge of the table. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Is it bad that I don’t want it to stop?” He mumbled, hoping maybe Tyler wouldn’t even hear. But he did. He walked over to Josh, so that when Josh finally moved his hands from his face his eyes instantly met Tyler’s. 

“I don’t either.” Tyler said truthfully, scaring himself. 

Josh pulled him in for a slow kiss. It felt different, it made his stomach flip and his feet feel unsafe, like the feeling he got when on a rollercoaster or standing at a great height, he was waiting for a fall. 

When Tyler was back in his own bed later that evening, he couldn’t sleep, his mind reeling with thoughts of Josh’s touch all over his skin, making him whine and moan and fall apart so perfectly. He had to stick to this plan, he would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t finish it, it was killing him. He was no longer sure what he wanted and he was beginning to think his fall was going to involve a plummet onto hard concrete, rather than Josh’s soft bed.


	5. v. you were sorta punk rock, i grew up on hip hop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this line in the song is so joshler to me idk why
> 
> also hi sorry its been a while i was buried under essays and what not
> 
> but im back and hopefully gonna get better at updates :)

They kept up this routine over the next few weeks. Tyler would turn up at the club at random times on random nights and sometimes Josh would be sat in a booth already waiting and others he would leave Tyler sat somewhere for hours before suddenly appearing and dragging him somewhere at least partly secluded to do away with him. 

One particular evening, after Tyler had gone several days without showing up Tyler waltzed inside only an hour after opening, hoping his earliness would take Josh off-guard. It did. And that it would result in a heated tryst. It did. 

Tyler was pushed up against the door of the toilet cubicle with a force, Josh’s lips crashing down hard on his own to swallow his gasp of surprise. Hips rocking together. 

“I-I” Tyler tried to speak and Josh place hot, sloppy open mouthed kisses along his jaw and neck. 

“mhm?” Josh mumbled into his skin acknowledging he was trying to speak. 

His head was so foggy with arousal and he was so out of breath, especially as Josh began undoing his pants that he almost couldn’t get the words out. He swallowed hard. “Already p-prepped myself.” Josh bit down into his shoulder groaning hard, pretty sure anyone in the bathroom knew what they were up to now. He almost came in his pants but managed to muster some control in time. 

“You’re so filthy.” Tyler nodded as Josh’s lips were hot and heavy moving almost drunkenly against his own. Before Josh was spinning him round and pressing him over the toilet, he braced his arms against the back wall, one knee resting on the edge of the toilet seat, he almost slipped into it but Josh caught him. “Don’t fall in Kitten, I’m not cleaning up after you tonight.” 

Tyler couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him. He stopped laughing when Josh yanked down his trousers and began parting his cheeks. 

-x-

“Josh I’m close.” He felt Josh rub against the sweet spot inside him and rock his hips back taking josh deeper than either of the two were expecting. Both moaned loudly, just then the main door to the toilets unlocked. 

“uh- Mr Dun?” someone called. The pair froze in their cubicle, Josh forcing Tyler’s other leg onto the toilet seat before the intruder could see it. He was still inside Tyler as Tyler bit down hard into his sleeve to keep the sounds from escaping his mouth. “Mr. Dun are you in here? Mr. Urie is here for the meeting, he’s waiting in the back as you instructed.”

Josh let out a huff meeting Tyler’s wide eyes. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Josh shouted.

“Oh, uh of course Sir.” He heard shuffling before they went back out of the door. 

Before Tyler could even finish breathing a sigh of relief Josh was pumping his hips back into him full pelt.

It wasn’t long before they both finished at the same time. Josh rested his back against the door as Tyler cautiously stepped down from the toilet, he almost slipped again and Josh held him upright as they both turned to face each other. 

“Careful princess.” Josh raised an eyebrow as Tyler blushed at the nickname. Tyler knew from the look that, much like with the name “kitten”, that was all he was going to be called the next time they were together. 

Tyler was about to unlock the stall door when josh stopped him. He grabbed Tyler’s wrist and turned it so he could place something into Tyler’s turned out palm he looked at it for a second confused. 

“Burner phone.” Josh stated simply. Tyler examined the old iPhone. He unlocked it and looked up. “Set a passcode, it has my number saved, you want to come over you text.” Tyler looked up and noticed the soft way Josh had been gazing at him. Josh cleared his throat and went to open the door. Tyler pulled his face into his hands and kissed him, if you were to ask him why he wouldn’t be able to tell you but it felt right. 

Josh instructed him to wait 5 minutes before leaving the stall after him. Tyler nodded. 

“Hey Mark?”

“hm?” Mark kept his attention on the road as he drove, but he raised his eyebrow to show he was paying attention. 

“What happened with Beebo, I thought he was still working with Ross for my father.” Tyler continued to pick at his nails as he spoke, trying to pass the action off as boredom and not anxiety. 

“Oh boy.” Mark blew out a loud breath, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s really a big mess right now.”

Tyler’s head snapped up. “What happened?”

“I don’t know the full story but it seems like he and Ross had a massive fight and Beebo took off with some of the goods and now your dad is trying to find him before he double-crosses him or something. Maybe don’t bring it up again, he’s pretty mad.” Tyler considered Mark’s words, turning his head to glance out the tinted windows, lost in thought. 

Suddenly the second phone in his pocket felt like a lead weight shifting his equilibrium. He traced the outline of it subtly, chewing on his lip as his thoughts continued to race on. 

“Hey,” Tyler cleared his throat to get Mark’s attention after the long silence. “Where’s Salih today?”

Mark considered the question scratching the back of his head. “Probably at the house, I mean, when isn’t he in that basement?” Tyler let a tiny huff of amusement slip passed his lips before turning to stare out the window again.

“I think I’ll speak with him when I get back.”

Mark opened his mouth to question what they might talk about but thought better of it and turned his attention back to the road once again. They were nearly back at the house anyway. 

-x-

Tyler stared at the phone screen as he chewed his lip, he could see the three dots bouncing that told him the person on the other end was typing, they were taking a while and it only set him further on edge. Eventually the phone grew tired of the staring contest and locked itself, not a second later was it waking back up with a loud ping as the reply flashed onto the screen. 

_Private Number:_

_Not tonight. Important business._

He blew out the breath he had been holding as his thumb hesitated over the home button. Hands shaking he locked the phone tossing it onto his bed before standing up. He walked over to his desk, pulling open a draw and reaching under it to find a key taped to the bottom of it. He clutched the key tightly before heading out his room. 

He headed to a room next to his father’s study, he scanned the corridor quickly before he slipped inside. To the naked eye it was simply an extension of the ‘library’ his father’s office seemed to be, the walls lined with bookshelves, in the middle of the back wall was a grand marble fireplace with two arm chairs in front. A large portrait of Tyler’s family hung over it, Tyler rolled his sight at the cliché nature of it. He walked straight over to it, skimming his fingers along its ugly gold frame, he was hesitating. He shook his head snapping out of his thoughts before clutching the picture and removing it from the wall. He rested it on the floor by his feet before placing his key in the safe that was built into the wall. 

-x-

“Mr. Urie, if you even think about double crossing me, I will ensure that you wish you had never been born, understand?”

“H-hey there, call me Brendon.” Sweat was dripping from his forehead as the gun pressed cold and hard into temple. “o-or not.” He stuttered out at the look Josh gave him. He had his hands raised in surrender as Michael held him in place, gun cocked finger itching on the trigger. 

“Open the box.” Josh instructed one of the other men in the room, he nodded before prising open one of the ten or so grates that were stacked in the back room of the club. Inside was a neat stack of sleek black guns. Josh pulled one out, scanning every inch of it with his eyes and he turned it about in his hands, inspecting it. 

After an agonising and slow five minutes he looked up. “Congratulations, they’re legit.” Josh placed the gun back in the box before instructing his men to arrange taking the crates to their weapons store. 

“Told you they were.” Brendon replied cockily as Michael’s iron grip finally released him. Michael then moved to help the other men open the large shutter door at the back of the room, there was an alleyway outside with a van already parked waiting. 

Josh kept his focus on Brendon as the men began loading up the crates. “So where’s my money? We had a deal Dun. I held up my end, now pay up.” Brendon straightened the cufflinks on his shirt as he spoke. Josh resisted his urge to roll his eyes and punch Brendon in the face. 

Instead he pulled a briefcase out from behind where three crates had been stacked on top of one another, he placed the case down, popping the clasps open to reveal it full of money. 

“Is it all there?” Brendon sniffed. Josh looked up from the case. 

“Yes it-“ Josh trailed off as he heard the click of the safety being turned off on a gun, Brendon froze seeing Josh’s wide eyes go past him. He felt something hard press into the back of his skull and he knew someone had a gun pointed to his head. 

Josh was speechless he didn’t know what to say, his men all froze what they were doing, reaching for their own guns and pointing them at the intruder.

“Tyler?”


	6. vi. but you fit me better than my favourite sweater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short, its kind of a filler but it's christmas and i couldn't leave you on a cliffhanger like that!
> 
> i hope you have a great holiday whatever you celebrate!
> 
> tw// there is a description of a violent death but its kind of brief stay safe

Brendon gulped loudly at the metal biting into his skull. 

“H-hey Tyler, long-time no see huh?” He stammered out after slowly turning his head to the side to look Tyler in the eye.  
Tyler remained expressionless as Josh stared on, his eyes searching Tyler’s own but their gaze never met. 

“Where’d you hide it?” was all Tyler said in way of easing the tension. 

“I-I don’t know wh-what you’re talking about man, I’m just trying to do an honest deal here.” It was almost comical how much Brendon had started sweating and that drew josh’s attention to the fleeting glance he gave to one of the boxes in the corner. With a glance at Tyler he was instructing someone to open the box in question. 

After what felt like years, Michael bulled a small device from the very bottom of the crate. Michael inspected it before tossing it to josh who caught it in his free hand, he furrowed his brow as he looked at it. 

“Tracking device.” Tyler spoke up, still set in his stone-like stance, gun pressed to Brendon’s temple. Josh looked down at the object then back up at Michael for confirmation, he nodded. “Check those guns too, the ones on the top will be legit but the ones at the bottom are probably fakes.” Tyler continued, Brendon squeezed his eyes shut, his frame shrinking in defeat. After a minute of inspection, Michael was nodding in confirmation a second time. 

“How did-” Josh trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief. He had too many questions to deal with right now. 

“Beebo here used to work for my dad, he taught him that trick. Steal one real crate of guns and use them to hide the fact that the rest are fakes. Then plant a device so he knows where you’re keeping them, he’d have stolen them back by the end of tomorrow.” Tyler moved to pat Brendon on the shoulder causing him to jump and shake with fear. “Probably planning on making it look like it was my dad, leave him chance to take your money and skip town, then he’d just repeat the process with the next gang he can find.”

Josh willed the feeling in his chest to go away as he watched Tyler, a small smirk on his face. He was still going to have to ask the other questions he had 

“Take him away.” Josh motioned for his men to take Brendon from Tyler’s grasp into their own, dragging him as he struggled, shouting about this being a ‘misunderstanding’ and that he can ‘make it up to him’. Josh shook his head a small chuckle escaping both him and Tyler. Their eyes met again, a familiar feeling bubbling in josh’s gut. 

Josh cleared his throat. “Michael, get rid of these fakes, keep the real ones, and dump this tracking device in the furthest corn field.” Michael smirked at that. 

“Sure thing boss.” Then he and the remaining men were sorting through the crates. Combing through everything. 

Josh shut the case of money before taking it and Tyler out of the room and back out into the club. 

“I have questions.” He whispered into Tyler’s ear, his whole body pushed up behind flush to Tyler’s, Tyler swallowed hard as he stumbled to put his gun away. He nodded slowly. 

Josh brushed past Tyler to push aside the dark red curtain that hid the doorway from club goers. He stopped dead in his tracks causing Tyler to bump into him this time. “Shit.”

“What?” Tyler’s eyes went wide as he searched Josh’s stony expression. 

“My father is here. You need to go.” He started anxiously looking down the corridor, wracking his brain for another exit. 

“Josh!” Tyler brought him back to reality before he could panic. He’d never seen this side of josh before, was he that scared of his father, it caused a feeling to stir in Tyler but he couldn’t put his finger on it so he stuffed it to the back of his mind for later. “it’s okay, you go and talk to him, distract him and then I will sneak out.” Josh took a deep breath before nodding. 

“Okay, but don’t think we’re not talking about what happened back there.” Tyler relaxed his shoulders before stepping back to let Josh go find his father. 

After a minute he glanced out at the club and saw Josh talking to a tall man, he had the ghost of Josh’s appearance across his own, with greying hair. He looked soft around the edges but there was something about the way he carried himself, the way josh’s whole body language changed in his presence that made him incredibly intimidating. Tyler shivered before dashing towards the exit. 

He needed to get his gun back into the safe before his father could figure out it was ever gone. As soon as he got back he carefully slipped back into the study, he had just finished putting the painting back on the wall when he heard footsteps. He grabbed a book from the shelf and sat in one of the ugly green chairs just in time for the door to open. 

“Tyler what are you hiding in here for? Dad needs to see us in the basement.” His brother Zack eyed him suspiciously as Tyler tried to shrug it off. 

“Wanted some quiet.” He closed the book and put it back on the shelf before following his brother out the room and towards the basement. As they approached the stairs Mark joined them.

“Where were you?” he snapped, his voice low in Tyler’s ear. 

“Needed to do something.” Tyler replied before walking ahead, ignoring mark’s huff of annoyance at the vague answer. 

“Your dad’s proper pissed Tyler, this isn’t going to be anything good.” Was all he said.

Tyler gulped but before he could answer the door opened to reveal Chris Salih stood against the wall, Tyler’s father opposite and a group of his men stood around behind him. His father was holding a gun, suddenly Tyler couldn’t breathe.

“Father-” Zack started but at the downright vicious glare his father gave him Zack stiffened and cleared his throat. “S-Sir,” he corrected himself. “what’s going on?” 

“You’re just in time boys, I’m showing my men here what happens when you fail me.” He said solidly. Before either Tyler or Zack could ask what he meant, he lifted the gun in his hand and pulled the trigger. Chris hit the wall and slumped lifelessly to the floor leaving a giant splatter of blood and brain matter all over the floor. 

Tyler almost collapsed in shock but mark caught him, there was no air in his lungs. What had he done.


	7. vii. and i know that love is mean, love hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief warning for mentions of being sick/throwing up at the beginning, and references to the events from the end of the last chapter (which really wasn't my best so apologies about that). stay safe as always ily and thanks for reading.

Tyler heaved over the toilet seat, his throat burning. Once he was sure the entire contents of his stomach and more had been cleared out he sat back his body heaving with the effort. He wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the stench of sick fill his nose. He groaned with effort as he reached over to flush the toilet, before slumping back. The image of his father pulling the trigger replayed itself over and over again no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, pressing his fingers into his eyes as if that would force the image to the back of his mind. 

He was distracted by the familiar buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He retrieved it to see a text from Josh. Swallowing hard he opened it. 

Private Number:

Don’t think we aren’t going to talk about this.

Tyler sighed, burying down the churning sensation in his stomach. He had already made a choice, he thought he was only right he answer Josh’s questions, the price had already been paid for them, he shuddered at the thought. 

He tapped out a reply:

need to talk now, give me a place.

He had barely set his phone on the side in preparation of getting up when it buzzed again, Josh sent him an address that he looked up on the phone. He pushed a heavy breathe out his nose, his throat still burning before using the sink to pull himself back up. He leant over the basin, clutching tightly to the sides and he took in his appearance in the mirror. He shook his head as though his mind was an etch-a-sketch and it would clear it, before splashing water over his face, brushing his teeth and then gulping some water straight from the tap to ease the heat in his throat. 

He changed into a plain white t-shirt and some jeans before shoving some more clothes and underwear into a duffle bag along with some other essentials. He still had Mark’s car keys in his jacket, the events from earlier causing him to forget to return them to his friend. 

He stared at the address on the burner phone mentally talking himself into moving his feet. Before he could talk himself out of it he grabbed his bag and hastily headed to the car, grateful that no one saw him, he got in and practically speeded down the drive. 

Josh had asked to meet in a secluded parking lot toward the edge of town. He was sat on the hood of his sleek black Mercedes as he waited for Tyler to pull up opposite. Before Tyler could get out the car, Josh had already pulled open the passenger door and gotten in. 

“What is this, a drug deal?” Tyler snorted before turning to Josh, his expression immediately dropped when he met Josh’s intense gaze. 

“Start talking.” He huffed out. 

Tyler swallowed hard, he could still taste bile and it made him shudder, he gripped the steering wheel hard as Chris’s lifeless body hitting the floor flashed across his mind again. 

“What do you need to know?” He took a deep breath.

“How did you know the deal was happening tonight?” Josh’s eyes were searching Tyler’s as he assessed every body movement and every flick of his eyes to read if he was lying. 

_Here goes nothing._

“Brendon worked for my father with a partner, Ross, and well when I heard that he was here to see you I thought maybe my father sent him but he hadn’t told me anything about it.” At Josh’s intense gaze he back tracked. “Not, that he tells me much, it’s j-just he likes to brag, e-especially when he thinks he’s getting the better over your family.” Tyler could feel sweat sticking his t-shirt to his body, he suddenly had the urge to open his window. 

“Go on.” Josh prompted, still not moving an inch, his brow furrowed in concentration. 

Tyler took a deep breath, mentally slapping himself. 

_Pull yourself together Joseph._

“Okay well, I asked Mar-my contact, one of my contacts,” he was shaking as he gripped the steering wheel even tighter he was really blowing this. Josh’s gaze flickered to where Tyler was white-knuckling the steering wheel, cautiously he placed a hand on Tyler’s thigh. Tyler tensed at first and Josh almost pulled it away but he noticed the way Tyler sank further into his seat, visibly relaxing. Josh felt a small tug of pride in his chest but buried it, this wasn’t the time to get cocky. Tyler continued, reassured by Josh’s touch. “My contact told me that Brendon and Ross fell out with each other big time a few weeks ago and Brendon took a crate of guns and ran. I had my suspicions he was going to try to con you, my father he” Tyler trailed off staring down at his lap. 

“He taught him that con.” Josh finished for him finally turning to stare out the window, his hand still firmly on Tyler’s thigh. Tyler only nodded, hoping Josh saw it in his peripheral vision, which he did. 

“But-” Josh continued after a long silence. “that still doesn’t explain how you knew the deal was going down tonight.” Tyler sighed, this was the part of the story he didn’t really want to talk about. 

“My dad has- _had_ ” he corrected himself and Josh whipped his head round to look at Tyler again, reading the distress in his eyes, he squeezed Tyler’s thigh on reflex, a small nudge to keep going despite how watery his stare had become. “This guy called Chris, he usually runs surveillance on your gang but my dad put him in charge of tracking down Brendon so my dad could get back what he stole, but Chris knew he was going to sell the guns to you and steal them back, so dad told him to keep tabs on him, make sure nothing interferes with the deal so my dad could steal the guns back for himself and get Urie. My father thought the reason Brendon got captured was because Chris got too close and spooked you, he blamed Chris for not assessing the situation better and it’s ridiculous but without him knowing it was me, that’s the only reason the deal would have failed to my father so he-when I got home he- he made me and my brother go see him in the basement and in-in front of everyone he shot him, said that’s what happens when you fail him.” Tyler took a shaky breath, his death grip back on the steering wheel. A tension hung thick like a blanket draped over them both. 

“Shit.” Josh breathed out finally. “Is that why you’re planning on disappearing.” He said bluntly causing Tyler to look up in shock and confusion. “I saw the bag when I got in.” Josh motioned with his head to the duffle bag slumped on the back seat, Tyler slumped back in his seat, he was so on edge about everything he needed to get a grip. He rubbed his eyes with one hand as Josh squeezed his thigh again. 

“I can help you hide out for a bit.” The words caused Tyler to peak out from behind his hand.

“What?”

“I have a place to hide you, for a price.” He smirked at the last part, his hand shifting just a little bit higher. Tyler’s breath hitched. 

“Why would you do that?” Tyler leaned forward to meet his gaze properly for the first time, trying to read Josh’s expression. 

“I don’t like owing people, after tonight I definitely owe you, especially if what you’ve just told me is the truth.” Josh replied casually. 

“It is.” Tyler nodded as if to really drive it home. “Does this mean you like, trust me now?” He quirked an eyebrow, the relief of getting it all out, of Josh making this offer allowing him to relax back into his teasing persona he often adopted in Josh’s presence. 

Suddenly Josh’s nails dug into Tyler’s thigh and he yelped in surprise, whimpering as Josh let go. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves kitten.” He replied harshly, smirking at the discomfort his actions had caused. Slightly annoyed at the pain in his thigh, and satisfied he must’ve hit close to home to elicit such a reaction Tyler leant further forward until his lips brushed Josh’s as he spoke, 

“Okay daddy.” Josh’s whole body tensed and Tyler was sure he heard a quiet growl come from the back of Josh’s throat, but he was already sitting back. Suddenly Josh reached into the back seat and yanked Tyler’s duffle into his lap. He unzipped it ignoring Tyler’s questions as he ruffled through it, he found Tyler’s real phone and then zipped it back up. He tossed the phone to Tyler. 

“Call someone to come get the car and then leave the keys and your phone in it.” He was about to climb out the car when Tyler grabbed his arm to stop him. 

“I knew said I would come with you.” He said in disbelief. 

“What else are you going to do Tyler?” Josh sat back in his seat, turning to look at him. Tyler slumped back in his own seat defeated, he released Josh’s arm sighing. “They’ll track you down, no matter where you go, they’ll never let you leave Ohio, let alone Columbus. I can help you, your father won’t find you and then in a week or whenever you’re ready you can go back.” Tyler hesitated before silently unlocking his phone and dialling Mark’s number. Josh nodded and got out the car, going to his own and getting in the driver’s seat. 

“Tyler, where did you go, your dad is so pissed.” Mark hissed into his phone, he could hear muffled voices in the background. He squeezed his eyes shut before deciding he needed to just go for this. 

“I’m so sorry Mark but I need to disappear for a week or two, don’t bother looking for me I’ll come back when I’m ready. I took your car so just track my phone and you’ll find it, your car and the keys.”

“No no no Tyler wai-”

“Bye Mark.” Tyler hung up ignoring Mark’s desperate pleas. 

He put the phone and the keys into the glovebox and stepped out of the car. He shut the door, taking a deep breath. Before he could get lost in his doubts, Josh turned the ignition of his car, the headlights blinding Tyler signalling for him to hurry up and get in the car. Tyler took another heaving sigh, probably like his hundredth that day and traipsed over to Josh’s car.

Once inside Josh placed a hand on his cheek, he looked at Tyler with another unreadable expression, before Tyler could ask what he was doing Josh’s lips were on his, slow and chapped. Tyler let out a tiny moan but before he could respond to deepen it Josh’s lips were pulling away. Tyler just had time to see the sad smile on his face, everything snapping back into focus as he heard Josh say,

“Forgive me Tyler.” 

“Wha-” The hand on the side of his head suddenly slammed his head down onto the car dashboard, as everything faded to black. Josh slowly lifted his body up, lying him back into the seat and pulling on his seatbelt. He gently brushed the already growing welt on Tyler’s forehead gently, a guilty feeling in his stomach before he turned back to the steering wheel and driving off with the unconscious man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you need to talk to me, i.e you want me to summarise the bits you cant read cos they're triggering or w/e i have tumblr and twitter for you to contact me at. 
> 
> my tumblr is josephthema
> 
> my twitter is @acatads :)


	8. viii. but i still remember that day we met in december

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so soft im sorry dshdg
> 
> brief mentions of nausea and murder (what else is new)

Tyler blinked his eyes open, wincing at the bright lights in his eyes. He closed his eyes again, there was a hard pulsing feeling in his arms and chest and an even bigger throbbing in his head. He winced as he slowly reached a careful hand to feel the tender bruising lump on his forehead. He dropped his hand lifelessly, his whole body hurt but he knew it was just his head causing the sensation, the impact of the force causing his brain to practically shift out of its socket, as though it was somehow loose now and able to rattle around like a ball inside a large container when shaken. 

He panicked then, his brain slowly processing what was going on, his other senses snapping sharply back into focus, he was lay on a bed he could feel the cool sheets underneath him. Trying to steady his breathing he forced his eyes to open again, having adjusted to the light he realised it wasn’t as bright as he thought, in fact it was simply warm streaks of winter sunlight filtering through the crack in the dark curtains on the window opposite him, the light slicing across one half of his face.

Just then he heard a door opening and looked up to see Josh walk in, beads of water rolling off his shoulders as he clutched the towel around his toned abdomen to hold it up, his other hand rubbed a second towel over his tousled curls. Tyler went to turn away, his face growing a little hot but his movements were sluggish and took effort, so before he could Josh noticed him. 

“You’re awake.” He said in a tone that Tyler thought was almost excited He sat down on the edge of the bed dropping the towel in his hair by his feet. “I’m sorry about your head, I-I didn’t know any other way to make sure you had no idea where you were going.”

A wave of what Tyler thought was understanding waved over him and he tried to sit up, he moved to quickly his entire vision blacking out. When he came to Josh was holding him up by his elbows telling him to “take it easy”, a look of concern plastered across his face.   
Tyler stared back, trying to take in all the information given to him even though his brain was screaming for a break. He needed to see…

Suddenly Tyler’s lips were on Josh’s hot and heavy, his hand pulling on the nape of his neck, his whole body leaning onto Josh’s to prop him up and his lips worked desperately against Josh’s, by instinct Josh’s body responded at first before he came to his senses. 

Josh wrapped his fist in Tyler’s t-shirt, pushing insistently to get Tyler to pull away, but as soon as he did he was panting heavily and leaning on Josh’s vice grip on his arm and shirt. “Tyler how hard did I hit your head?” Josh sounded horrified, his face full of concern. 

“I’m sorry,” Tyler breathed out. “I just-” his head lolled and he almost passed out but Josh caught him, one hand moving to hold his head in place so he could look him in the eye. 

“Tyler look at me.” He said softly, his thumb pulling the bottom of his eye, he leaned in close to assess the pupils before letting go of the skin and moving back out of his personal space. He moved his hand up Tyler’s face towards his forehead, hesitating as though asking silent permission to look at the injury, Tyler attempted a nod. Josh didn’t miss the way just hovering his thumb over it caused Tyler to become even more disorientated and screw his eyes shut. “You have a concussion.” He stated simply and Tyler gave him a bemused look. 

“No, no, I’m fine.” He attempted to hold himself up on his own but instantly fell against Josh’s chest, Josh chuckled ever so slightly at his stubbornness. 

“You’re not fine Tyler, I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you like this.” He could feel an edge of panic in his words, his breathing hitching the tiniest amount. Tyler just pressed further into his chest, he was warm despite how sopping wet he still was. 

“You did what you had to ‘s alright.” He mumbled against his chest, already feeling waves of sleep wrap an iron grip around him. He was about to be dragged under the current when Josh shook him awake. 

“Tyler stay awake.” He said setting him gently back against the bed. Tyler tried to nod, to do anything but nothing more than a soft whine escaped his lips as his tender head hit the cool hard pillow on the bed. “Keep talking to me okay baby boy?” The pet name wasn’t malicious or designed to rile Tyler up this time, instead it was almost a term of endearment and Tyler’s heart fluttered ever so slightly. 

“Tyler.” He has almost passed out again when Josh’s shout of his name pulled him back. Almost immediately Tyler began mumbling incoherent things into the pillows, he had no idea what he was saying but he knew he was talking. He couldn’t see what Josh was doing but he kept talking nonsense into the pillow. 

Suddenly Josh scooped him up into his arms, Tyler gasped in surprise. He was wearing a t-shirt now and basketball shorts, Tyler could feel his skin was still damp, his hair dripping onto the t-shirt, Tyler instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his head into his shoulder. He shivered when a dribble of water ran off Josh’s hair and down the back of his neck. 

“Hey,” Josh’s voice was soft, Tyler felt it vibrate along his neck. “I didn’t say stop talking.” Tyler sighed with effort as he began babbling into Josh’s shoulder again, still no idea what he was saying just knowing to keep producing words. 

Josh had reached his destination it seemed when Tyler was placed down onto a toilet seat, he could hear the stead hum of a shower next to him. Josh kneeled and placed a hand on his legs. “I’m gonna get you showered and then get you some ice for your head okay?”

His head was pulsing like he was stood next to the speakers in a night club and some song with heavy bass was playing. He couldn’t find energy everything was like wading through thick mud. He just lifted his arms in silent defeat causing Josh smile softly before pulling Tyler’s shirt up and off. He pulled Tyler to his feet and removed the rest of his clothes for him to step out of before sitting him back on the toilet seat long enough to strip off his own clothes. Then he pushed Tyler up and into the warm spray. Tyler’s muscles instantly released their tension and he felt sleep try to claim him again. 

Josh pinched his hip causing Tyler’s eyes to fly open as he yelped in surprise. “Stay awake.” Josh reminded him. Tyler nodded as he watched Josh with lazy eyes as he put shampoo onto his hands. He wrapped his arms around Josh’s torso and rested his head on his shoulder as Josh slowly, cautiously massaged in the shampoo. He jerked his shoulder causing Tyler to wake up again slightly. He decided he needed to focus on doing something if he was ever going to stay awake with Josh’s hands massaging his scalp like that, so he began ghosting his lips along Josh’s neck, Josh let out an involuntary shudder at the sensation. He nudged Tyler’s head between his heads, guiding it back into the stream of water to wash out the shampoo. 

“Touch a nerve?” Tyler mumbled cockily his eyes still closed. Josh nosed at his jawline.

“Don’t flatter yourself kitten.” He replied nipping at the skin of his jaw before pulling his head back onto his shoulder so that he could move on to washing Tyler’s body. Tyler concentrated on sucking lazy hickies into his neck, relishing in the way Josh’s grip would sometimes tighten as he continued to wash him. 

Afterwards he helped Tyler dress into some sweats he didn’t remember Josh bringing with him, Josh redressed in his clothes from before while he made Tyler tell him a story. Tyler wasn’t sure why but he started babbling again, this time about when he was a kid and his brother and he used to ride their bikes to the creek behind the mansion, they’d put cards in their spokes, care free, that was their last summer of innocence. The day before summer break ended his father had called him and his brother into his study and he’d told them they had much to learn if they were going to take over the family business. That was the first time Tyler watched his father murder a man, he’d told him he was old enough to start learning that his actions had consequences. He started to feel queasy as the images of the first murder and the last (Chris’) he’d witnessed merged together. 

“Tyler.” He snapped back into reality with a throb in his head. “You zoned out I was worried.” Josh said helping him to stand. The memories and the motion made him feel a churning in his stomach. 

“I feel sick.” He mumbled out, Josh immediately stopped moving him. 

“That will be the concussion.” Tyler didn’t have the heart to tell him it was probably the result of everything but the concussion at this point. Josh searched his face to assess whether he was going to puke or not. Tyler became aware of the fact that he hadn’t eaten since before he’d interrupted Josh’s deal, and since then he’d already thrown up anything left in his stomach. “Are you going to be okay?” Josh asked, pulling Tyler’s arm over his shoulder to keep him upright. Tyler nodded slowly. 

“Nothing left in there.” He poked pathetically at his stomach before trying to step forward. Josh snapped his gaze from where it was drilling into the side of Tyler’s skull to move with him and helped him make it to Josh’s room. 

He left Tyler on the bed while he fetched some ice in a cloth, a water bottle and some pain killers. Tyler was almost asleep when Josh returned. He helped him sit up slightly so he could take the pills and then Josh placed the ice pack on his head, it instantly soothed the throbbing even if it did sting. 

“Hey Tyler,” Josh nudged him gently to make sure he was still awake. Tyler hummed, subconsciously moving towards where Josh’s body was practically curled around him desperately trying to leech his body heat. “what did you want to be when you grew up?”

Tyler opened his eyes a tiny bit, weakly raising an eyebrow. He settled back into Josh’s chest as Josh adjusted the ice on his head. “A princess.” Tyler smiled, and Josh laughed his heart hammering at the sight of how sleepy Tyler was. 

“I’m serious.” Tyler grunted trying to bury himself into josh’s side, the older boy knew he was trying to sleep and he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea just yet. “Hey, sleepy answer me!” He teased pinch Tyler’s side again. Tyler grunted pulling his head out of its hiding spot. He winced as Josh readjusted the ice once again. 

“Fine.” He sighed. “I wanted to be in the NBA.”

“Basketball?” Josh studied the small tinge of pink that flushed Tyler’s ears at the admission. Tyler nodded. Josh laughed, his tongue poking between his teeth as he tried to muffle it. 

“Don’t laugh! I was good at it; I could’ve done it you know.” Tyler swatted pathetically at Josh’s chest but he had no strength in his body for Josh to even feel it. A twinge of guilt spiked in the pit of Josh’s stomach. 

“I believe you.” Josh surrendered. “I’m sorry I did this to you.” 

Tyler sighed again, melting further into the bed and Josh decided it might be okay to let him sleep now that the swelling in his head had gone down considerably. “it’s okay” he slurred “you can just make it up to me.” Josh’s heart skipped again as Tyler brought his arm around Josh’s waist and pulled him close, mumbling something about him being warm. Josh shifted the icy cloth again, giving Tyler another prompt to be wake up slightly. 

“Name your price.” Josh almost teased, thinking Tyler would already be asleep, so he almost jumped when he heard Tyler speak, almost completely asleep, his last coherent words mumbled into Josh’s chest causing a small feeling of dread creep up Josh’s spine. 

“I want to talk to Brendon.”


	9. ix. big dreams, gangster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> This is just some more smut, idk why everything has started getting really soft and heavy but i'm glad you're enjoying it!

It took Tyler a few days to get his strength back from the concussion, at one point Josh considered calling in a doctor. But decided they would probably just tell him Tyler needs to rest and he would be fine.

On the third night Tyler gasped awake, his head pounding as the remnants of his nightmare filtered away into the darkness. Josh was awake instantly moving so he was hovering over Tyler, panicked eyes searching his face, delicately wiping the sweat from the bruise on his head.

“What happened are you alright?” As Tyler’s eyes adjusted to the dark he could make out Josh’s worry. Tyler gulped, still breathing heavy, his throat dry.

“I just, bad dream, sorry.” He was finally able to force out the words. Josh shifted to turn on his bedside lamp, the dull orange light was soft but it still made Tyler’s head throb. Josh placed a glass of water to Tyler’s lips, holding his neck to help make it easier to gulp down. Tyler tilted his head up slightly to indicate he was done and Josh moved the glass back over to the side. He turned his attention back to Tyler, stroking hair from his forehead.

They stared in silence for a minute, it struck Tyler finally, the softness with which Josh had been treating him. Josh took care of him as though their relationship was more than just hot sex in the back of a strip club, he wasn’t just something Josh used to get off with anymore, and now Tyler realised he hadn’t been for a while. This wasn’t what Tyler had expected, he pushed down the panic in his chest, his head was still too foggy to try to process everything right now.

“Did you see your father shoot someone again?” Josh asked, snapping Tyler out of his thoughts. He nodded slowly, before moving a hand cautiously up Josh’s arm stopping at the nape of his neck. He pulled him down into a desperate kiss. Josh hesitated before responding slowly, trying to force Tyler to take his time which only made him whine desperately against his mouth.

“Tyler-” “Please.” They both spoke at the same time as Josh pried their lips apart. Instinctively Josh placed a hand on Tyler’s cheek, in the dim lighting he hadn’t noticed a few small tears escape Tyler until he felt one warm and wet against his fingers.

Josh shushed him gently, smoothing a thumb across his cheek. Tyler gripped Josh’s arms so tightly they might bruise, but Josh pushed the pain to the back of his mind, his brow furrowed in worry. Tyler’s head hurt so badly, not just the dull ache of the remainders of his concussion but also from the war being waged there. His loyalties were swaying back and forth and he was beginning to lose his grip on reality he needed something to anchor him, to stop him from being swallowed up by his racing thoughts.

“Please.” He choked out a whisper. Josh rested his forehead against his, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Tyler,” his voice was just as quiet, “you have concussion it’s not a good idea.” He said the words slowly as though they almost pained him to say.

Tyler bucked his hips up to cause friction between their bodies, Josh immediately tensed up. “I-I need it, n-need you.” Tyler was breathing heavily his nails digging into Josh’s skin, leaving half-moon marks in his skin.

“Ty.” Josh hissed, as he bucked his hips again. He moved a hand down to Tyler’s hip, pinning him to the bed. Tyler whimpered, another tear escaping over Josh’s other hand that still rested on his cheek. Tyler pushed himself up so that he could kiss Josh again. Without Josh meaning to he got carried away in the slow desperate feel of Tyler’s lips against his, the gentle way Tyler’s tongue slid over his own. Tyler writhed underneath him, breaking the kiss in favour of kissing the corner of his mouth and then along his jawline and down to his neck. Josh shivered. He nosed at Tyler’s temple to get his attention back, rubbing their noses together when Tyler finally looked up at him. He saw the pleading look in his eyes and felt what little resolve he had left dissolve almost entirely.

“We’ll go slowly okay?” Tyler nodded frantically as another tear spilled down his cheek. “I mean it Tyler, slow or not at all, the moment your head starts to hurt we stop okay?” Tyler nodded more carefully this time.

“Kiss me?” Tyler replied. Josh took a heavy breath before closing the gap and let Tyler push his tongue past his lips. Tyler finally released Josh from his death grip to push his hands up under his shirt roaming across his toned abs. Josh propped himself up on his elbow, the other one still pinning down Tyler’s hip. He pulled upwards so that he could manoeuvre off his shirt. He moved himself between Tyler’s legs. Gently he hooked a finger under Tyler’s boxers and began tugging them down, never breaking eye contact with the younger man. Tyler took shuddering breaths trying to push down the beginnings of his sobs from earlier.

“Come here.” Josh said softly after he had pulled off Tyler’s boxers, he leant down and pulled Tyler into his chest as he kissed him passionately. A sigh escaped Tyler’s lips as his own hands moved down under the waistband of Josh’s boxers. With his nails digging more crescents into his skin, he used the leverage to pull Josh’s crotch down to drag across his own. Tyler whimpered as the sensation caused Josh to bite down on his bottom lip. Tyler rocked his hips up again, pulling Josh ever closer. He needed to feel the weight of Josh on top of him, anchoring him to reality, every touch and sensation between them reminding him this was real. Josh pulled him just as close, sucking a bruise into his neck and drinking in the smell of his skin. He felt like Tyler’s scent had almost become so permanently ingrained in his sense memory that they could be apart for several years before he was able to forget it, or the weight of Tyler’s hands on his body or the feel on his nails splitting skin. He needed more and knew that Tyler needed it too from how tightly he pulled Josh into himself, the small desperate whimpers pushing past his lips threatening to become soft sobs.

Josh pulled back just enough to move one hand to begin pushing his boxers down, but Tyler reattaching their lips distracted him and made it impossible to move away. Tyler used his own hands, sliding them up Josh’s ass to hook around the waistband and pull them down, he refused to let Josh move from on top of him, relishing in the warmth radiating from Josh. Josh huffed out a light chuckle as he moved his lips back down to Tyler’s neck. He put his hands on Tyler’s hips to stop his desperate bucking, he was being too active, the exact opposite of what Josh had intended when he promised they would go slow.

Tyler let out a strangled whine. “Josh please I-I need you, need to feel you in-” he was too wrecked to finish the sentence a small sob escaping him instead. Josh shushed him, ever so carefully brushing hair off his forehead, avoiding the slowly fading bruise there.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. Let me take care of you baby boy.” He whispered into the corner of Tyler’s mouth. Tyler started crying then, small light tears, his whole body so overwhelmed; a terrifying feeling bubbling in his chest that felt like his heart wanted to break through his ribs and throw itself at Josh. Before he knew what was happening Josh was kissing away his tears and moving down his body, littering a long line of kisses down his chest and stomach, the pads of his thumbs rubbing slow circles over his hip bones.

Tyler’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Josh’s breath ghost over the tight ring of muscle between his legs. His fingers latched into Josh’s hair as he felt Josh’s tongue glide over his hole. Tyler couldn’t help but start pushing his hips down to meet Josh’s mouth as he began eating him out, his tongue working past the tight muscle and causing sensations so good Tyler’s head was cloudy for an entirely different reason.

“Josh please, I’m ready.” Tyler finally managed to push the words past his constricting lungs. Josh placed one last kiss to his hole before leaning over to his bedside table, he grabbed a condom from the top drawer and some lube. Quickly he tore open the condom and rolled it on before slicking himself with the lube. Only now becoming aware of how achingly hard he was, he’d been so wrapped up in Tyler and making him feel good to notice before but now he needed this as much as Tyler did.

He hovered over Tyler again, who pulled him in as close as possible like a needy child, Josh kissed his nose.

“Slowly.” Josh promised him as he pressed the tip of his dick to Tyler’s entrance. As he slowly edged his way inside Tyler only whimpered and pulled on Josh’s shoulders, arching his body up so it was pressed flush against Josh’s scorching skin, allowing him to push deeper inside Tyler until he was buried to the hilt.

Josh kissed away a few more stray tears before he slowly began drawing himself out, before pushing back in again. Tyler moaned, nails digging into Josh’s shoulder. Josh set a gentle pace, Tyler grinding his hips in slow circles as he rocked up to meet Josh’s thrusts. Everything about their movements -the closeness, the slowness- was the kind of intimacy that allowed them both to be completely consumed by one another. The world could come crashing down around them and they wouldn’t even notice, nothing else mattered but the slow grind of Tyler’s hips, the feeling of Tyler clenching ever so slightly around Josh in a way that made his head spin, the desperate ministrations of their lips working against one another.

Their bodies rocked together, a heat building deep in both of them as they grew closer to their respective releases. They kissed slowly as Josh continued to thrust deep inside, his pace picking up ever so slightly as Tyler keened and scratched across his back. He wasn’t close enough still, Tyler’s stomach flipped as he made eye contact with Josh, their heavy breaths mixing. His gaze was so intense, Josh looking back at him as though he was his entire world and Tyler couldn’t stop the heat rising in his face. Just at that moment Josh brushed over the sweet spot inside him and he arched his back moaning loudly.

Josh’s grip tightened on him, his heart hammering in his chest as Tyler came apart under him. He kissed him harder this time, picking his pace up just a touch more to make sure he hit the necessary spot inside Tyler to help him reach his end but still trying to be so so gentle.

“I’m c-close.” Tyler breathed out before kissing Josh again, his tongue searching, roaming, trying to map out every inch of Josh’s mouth. Something was different between them, the heat that built in Tyler’s core as he neared his climax wasn’t the same as before, this wasn’t a hot quick fuck in a toilet stall, Josh was being so careful, handling him with such care that Tyler had never experienced before. Josh was being so perfect, so stupidly wonderfully perfect and his head had subsided to a dull thud under his touch, as he fell apart to the fullness of Josh inside him. Another choked sob escaped him and Josh instinctively pulled him closer, wrapping his hands around the small of his back so he arched into him and Josh could push in further.

“Do you want me to stop?” He searched Tyler’s eyes, biting his lip as he felt himself growing painfully close. Tyler wanted to cry again, he was never handled with such care, he felt –dare he say it- loved in a way he’d only ever felt once before, the memory of which stung so painfully that he had locked it away forever and forbade himself from ever thinking about it again.

Tyler almost shrunk under his gaze, his skin on fire as it rubbed against Josh’s. He shook his head as a few more tears stung his eyes. Josh’s mouth fell slack, his eyes a glowing amber in the lamplight. He was beautiful.

“Please don’t.” His throat felt lodged with something that he struggled to swallow. “Feels s-so good.” Josh let a low moan rip through his own throat. He moved a hand to grip Tyler’s length, it had been so painfully neglected that Tyler almost screamed, biting down on Josh’s shoulder instead as Josh enveloped it in the warm heat of his hand and began working it up and down.

“Let go, it’s okay.” Josh pressed his lips to Tyler’s forehead, the action so tender that Tyler couldn't help yet another sob escaped him but it soon became a choked moan as he felt the edge of his release wash over him. Josh kissed him hotly, swallowing the sound. “You’re safe, it’s okay, come on baby boy.” He soothed.

He kissed him again and then Tyler was coming undone with a shudder, spilling over Josh’s hand. Josh swallowed his name on Tyler’s lips, feeling him clamp down on himself, pushing Josh over the edge too. He moaned Tyler’s name as he pumped his hips working himself through his orgasm. Tyler wrapped his legs around Josh’s hips, holding him inside him.

Tyler clung to him tightly, a hand finding its way into Josh’s sweaty hair and holding his lips against his own. For a moment three words flashed across Tyler's mind; a fleeting admission that made his heart skip and suddenly Tyler had to pull away to breathe.

“Josh I-” Tyler began. Josh hummed a response as he began tracing the line of Tyler’s lips with the pad of his thumb. Tyler knew he couldn’t finish that thought, he couldn’t dare, so he changed his mind. “Thank you.” Was all he could say.

Josh kissed him again, then he opened his mouth as though to say something but the words died in his throat. Suddenly, he realised how exhausted he was, his arm that was propping him up shaking. He squeezed Tyler’s thigh in silent indication that he needed to move and Tyler let him pull out. Tyler tried not to show the way his chest immediately tightened at the loss of warmth. His head hurt more now without Josh inside him, no longer anchoring him to the moment.

He barely registered Josh leaving to fetch a damp cloth as he began cleaning up Tyler’s stomach, or the shift of the bed as Josh left again, the condom discarded at some point. Josh pulled on some boxers and a t-shirt shivering as his sweat sheened skin adjusted to the early morning drop in temperature. Tyler was already falling back to sleep, slow tears falling from his eyes onto the pillow as he slowly curled in on himself. Josh grabbed a pair of pants and a t-shirt from Tyler’s bag and began re-dressing him, his hands lingering, cradling him.

When done, Josh climbed into bed beside him, pulling the covers around them both. Tyler immediately crawled into Josh’s lap practically, clutching his shirt in tight fists.

“D-did I hurt you?” Josh hesitated to ask. Tyler shook his head, burying it into the crook of his neck. Josh turned off the lamp and allowed Tyler to tangle their legs together. There was a pause before Josh spoke again. “I don’t mean just now, I meant before too. Excluding the time I gave you a concussion, which I still feel really bad about by the way.”

Tyler took a shuddering breath against Josh’s neck again before replying. “Never.” I wish you had, it would make everything so much easier than this. “and I forgive you for the concussion.” He added before sliding a hand down to intertwine with Josh’s, Josh immediately brushed his thumb over Tyler’s soothingly. After another long pause, the only sound their breathing -Tyler’s thick through his snotty nose, and the steady thrum of Josh’s heartbeat against Tyler’s ear, Tyler spoke up again. “Why don’t you hate me?”

Josh turned his head then, resting his cheek against the top of his head, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I don’t know. I know I should, but-but I don’t know how to, this feels too right, I’m addicted I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to.”

“Josh, if my father finds out –if your father finds out…” he trailed off knowing Josh was already well aware of the consequences of everything they were doing.

“If you want this to stop I’ll respect you, but I’m not walking away anymore, I don’t know if I can especially after- after that.” 

You mean after we basically just made (almost but not quite) love in your bed, yeah… Tyler thought. There’s no going back now. He couldn’t help the mixed emotions that drove him to think the last part, the pulsing in his head returning.

Tyler nodded weakly, kissing Josh’s chest, ignoring the falter in Josh's heartbeat at the action. Josh squeezed his hand again. They fell into another silence and Tyler was just about to let sleep take him -his nightmare from earlier completely forgotten- when Josh whispered cautiously (hoping Tyler might not hear);

“A drummer.”

“What?” Tyler whispered back, like he was afraid to acknowledge the statement, it felt like a secret, a secret he wasn’t sure he was supposed to know.

“That’s what I wanted to be when I grew up.” Josh said to the ceiling. “Thought it was only fair you know that about me seeing as you told me about basketball. So yeah, I wanted to be a drummer. I got my first kit when I was twelve, I think my dad got the money from a deal, he probably had to kill someone to afford that kit, but I didn’t know about that ‘til later.” Josh swallowed thickly but Tyler squeezed his hand reassuringly a silent signal to keep going. So Josh continued to explain how his parents would use the promise of taking away his drums to keep him in line, how his father made him destroy the kit six years ago, when he turned nineteen because he had to work for his father now, no more time for 'petty pursuits'. His father reminding him ‘you’re a Dun, you can’t have a life in the spotlight -that would be suicidal.’ Tyler listened intently, Josh was giving him something he’d never expected him to, he was finally trusting him and it was all Tyler had wanted since he stole that gun from his father’s safe. After a while they spoke about their mothers, both of them discovering they shared a similar ‘mommy’s boy’ attitude towards them. They fell asleep reminiscing fondly, the ghosts of smiles on their lips, their limbs wrapped together as the sun began to rise behind the black curtains casting a faint glow over the pair as they slept soundly.


	10. x. said you had to leave to start your life over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's been a while but i guess it hasnt really? either way my apologies!
> 
> Trigger Warnings for the end of this chapter:
> 
> mentions of abuse and death,   
> vomiting, violence, threats and implications of scars.  
> (if you need to talk to me i'll link my twitter/tumblr in the end notes.)
> 
> Please be safe but i tried to be vague if i could, but yeah the plot is finally starting to pick up im so sorry.

Tyler had been staying with Josh for over a week when one morning Josh turned to him sighing heavily. 

“Do you still want to speak with Brendon?”

They were lay on Josh’s bed, laughter just dying out from some light teasing that had just ensued. Tyler sat up on his elbows to give Josh his full attention. 

“I can?” He checked and solemnly Josh nodded, he’d been hoping Tyler would have not remembered asking or perhaps would have changed his mind, but he pretended not to be a little disappointed. 

“Obviously, you can’t speak with him alone, I’ll be there but yeah, if it’s important to you then I won’t stand in your way.” Josh rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in thought aware that Tyler was watching him. 

“Thank you.” Tyler said softly after a minute, sliding his hand down to link his fingers with Josh’s. He shuffled closer to the older man, placing a light kiss on his shoulder which made Josh smile even if it was only briefly. 

The next day, Tyler was blindfolded and put in Josh’s car before and taken to the basement of the strip club, where the Duns ran their business. While he was staying with Josh the older man had only gone out for a few hours here and there, but Tyler had slept so much he couldn’t be sure how long he had been gone for truthfully. 

 

They headed down the bland white corridors, Josh guiding him with a firm hand between his shoulder blades. He approached a door that had Michael and another man situated either side of it. 

Josh nodded at them as they approached the door. 

“He’s been suspiciously quiet since the last visit; I think your brother knocked him off his perch.” The corner of Michael’s mouth tugged into a mug grin for a brief second before his eyes clocked Tyler’s. 

Josh muttered something to Michael Tyler couldn’t hear before he was stepping aside for the door to be unlocked. Josh gestured for Tyler to enter the room and suddenly he remembered why he was here. His whole body began to shake as he cautiously stepped inside the room, any confidence he had when he’d stopped Brendon over a week ago drained away as he slipped into the room. 

It was completely white and bare like the corridors and Brendon sat huddled into the corner, a solid lump of black against the stark white. The room felt cold, and the door slamming shut behind them echoed loudly making Tyler and Brendon jump. He lifted his head weakly from his hands as he looked up to see who had come to interrogate him now. Tyler noted the shackles on his wrists, the way they’d rubbed Brendon’s wrists raw, they were attached to a long chain that was finished with a thick loop of metal sunk into the wall. Josh grabbed Tyler’s arm to stop him from stepping forward and silent look to stay put flickered his way. Tyler nodded subtly. A chilling broken chuckled echoed through the room, both men snapped their attention to the prisoner in the corner of the room. Josh immediately let go of Tyler’s arm and straightened his jacket stepping back to let Tyler take charge. Brendon’s laugh only got louder and more terrifying, Tyler’s whole body went cold as he suppressed a shiver. Brendon started choking on his laughter and it was that that drew Tyler’s attention to his busted lip and his bruised cheeks. His eyes were sunken in and honestly he looked dead. 

“What do you want?” Brendon said from where he was doubled over, the coughing subsiding. He shakily pushed himself up to stand, using the wall for support before he slowly limped as close to Tyler as he could before the chain pulled taught and his hands were yanked back. He gave a low growl at the jolt before turning to look at Tyler, dead eyes staring into Tyler’s own. Tyler gulped. 

“I have some questions.” He tried to sound firm. Brendon cackled again. 

“You think I’m going to tell you anything, look at you” He breathed menacingly. “I may be chained up like one, but you’re the family pet here.” He switched his gaze to where Josh leant against the door frame. “Isn’t that right huh? How’d you do it?” Brendon sniffed. “How’d you brainwash him into loving you hm?” Josh tensed and so did Tyler. But Brendon knew he hit a nerve and it only pushed him to keep trying, he’d been pushed around and beaten because of these two, he’d sure as hell take whatever chance he had to hurt them back. “What is it,” He sized Tyler up with his eyes, and Tyler forced himself not to shrink under the gaze. “Stockholm Syndrome? Drugs?” He raised an eyebrow, “ _Sex?_ ” Tyler cursed himself from cracking, giving Brendon and answer without words but he couldn’t take it anymore; before Brendon could think up another incentive Tyler pushed his thumb hard against one of the bruises on Brendon’s face, he whimpered and threw himself backward until he hit the wall, sliding down it breathlessly. As he crouched against the wall he stared down, floppy hair hiding his face. 

Tyler stepped forward to loom over Brendon’s weak frame. 

“Sarah’s pregnant.” Tyler froze, Brendon’s voice was so small he almost missed the words. Weakly Brendon looked up at him. “Ryan found out, he went ballistic. He-he threatened to tell your dad, Tyler he did tell him after I ran.” 

“Did he-” Tyler’s jaw set. 

Brendon shook his head defeated, eyes focusing on the furthest wall. “I hid her before he could kill her, this deal was my” he swallowed thickly. “my way out, I was gonna get her out of this state and never look back.”

“Brendon I’m so-“

“Don’t.” Brendon shook his head with another menaced chuckle. “Don’t you dare.” He snapped out the last word standing up to square off with Tyler now. “You don’t get to say those words to me.” He pointed an accusatory finger and Tyler instinctively took a small step back. “You’re just like your father, congratulations kid.” Brendon spat and it was like Tyler had been slapped into next week, he swallowed hard squaring up to Brendon, fists clenched.

Josh’s hand was on his arm then, tugging him away and Tyler let him be dragged. “Tyler come on this isn’t worth it.” He said lowly but Brendon was close enough to hear and he let out another chilling laugh. 

“Really? _Him._ ” He spat. “After everything they’ve done to you Tyler? _To Jenna._ ” That was it, something cracked in Tyler, before Josh could even process what Brendon had said Tyler had shrugged him off and taken the few strides to reach Brendon. He gripped Brendon’s throat and shoved his head so it hit the wall hard, Brendon choked against the hold. 

“Don’t you _ever_ mention her name again!” He spat into Brendon’s face. “You don’t know anything about that, you don’t get to say her name, understand me!” He squeezed his neck a bit tighter and Brendon nodded furiously out of self-preservation. For a second Tyler saw nothing but red and it wasn’t until Josh was pulling at his shoulder, trying to yank him off that he snapped back to reality. 

“Tyler let him go!” Josh demanded and Tyler dropped Brendon to the floor, he was gasping and spluttering on all fours while Tyler aggressively shook Josh off, his skin was crawling at the memories that had surfaced, breathing heavily but still stood over Brendon. Brendon’s weak sobs were what brought him back, he collected his thoughts and calmed his breathing as he watched the broken man underneath him. 

He helped Brendon to stand out of pity. “Just do what they ask Brendon, cut them a deal, get out of here, protect your family.” Brendon looked at Tyler incredulously and head-butt him hard. 

Tyler stumbled back falling hard to the floor, the bruise from his concussion was no longer visible but it had not fully healed and suddenly he felt like he was floating as everything happened at once. Josh tried to catch him, shouting for the two men outside the door as Brendon yanked on his chain desperate to attack Tyler some more, screaming out words. 

“I CAN’T PROTECT THEM ANYMORE, YOU SAW TO THAT! IF I DON’T DIE IN HERE YOUR DAD IS WAITING FOR ME TYLER AND HE’LL MAKE ME WATCH, WATCH HIM SKIN HER KILL HER AND MY CHILD AND THEN HE’LL MAKE ME A VEGETABLE SO I CAN’T DIE TOO AND IF I DO DIE IN HERE MY CHILD GROWS UP WITHOUT ME. ITS ALL YOUR FAULT JOSEPH YOU RUINED MY LIFE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU _FUCK. YOU._ ” He spat and screamed and kicked and struggled, shouting the words after Tyler while Michael and the other man tried to contain him and Josh practically carried Tyler out the room. Tyler couldn’t focus on anything but the words Brendon was crying out, the way he was sobbing, the pain and crack in his screams, it was like he was on a roundabout that was just spinning faster and faster, this was all Tyler’s fault he was right. Tyler’s legs gave out and Josh decided he had to just scoop him up and get him out of there. Tyler clung desperately to Josh’s jacket, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the spinning but he still felt it in his stomach. 

“I’m gonna be sick.” He managed to slur out and Josh placed a light kiss to his forehead but he almost didn’t feel it. 

“Hang in there baby boy, just a few more steps.” Tyler nodded weakly as he felt Josh pick up his pace up the stairs. 

Before he could really process what was happening he was being placed beside the toilet and Josh was disappearing back out the door again. Tyler panicked and cried harder until he couldn’t breathe, he was so alone and as he retched into the toilet he couldn’t stop his mind from replaying everything, every dark thing that had every happened in his life, every death he’d witnessed at the hands of his father, the way his father had beat his way of life into him- sometimes literally. He thought of blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and a laugh like sunshine and he begged it to stop he begged the lead weight on his chest to lift he couldn’t bare it. He continued to heave and heave, Chris was dead, another heave, Brendon would never be a dad, another heave, Josh hated him, he’d seen a different side to him it was all over now. He had nothing left to throw up so he just choked out another round of heavy sobs, the noise in his head was a deafening roar, he had to sort this out he had to fix it. He had an exit strategy, one that might just save Brendon and help him finish what he’d started, he had to finish it, he’d lost himself the day he walked into Josh’s club and if he didn’t finish it now he never would. But he was shaking, lungs burning with the effort, his throat so dry and he felt so cold, in his core, he was empty once again and he knew that would only get worse if he went through with this. He rocked back and forth, head spinning, tears spilling, white knuckles gripping to toilet seat to keep him upright. 

Suddenly Josh came back into the room, flustered and breathless probably from running. 

“Tyler I’m so sorry I had to sort that out, I didn’t –shit.” He knelt beside Tyler and rubbed his back soothingly. Tyler cried harder, he didn’t want to complete this plan, he couldn’t he cared too much, _Josh_ cared too much and everything was becoming much too much as he let Josh pull him into his lap and stroked his hair and kissed his forehead and just held him. 

When Tyler had finally calmed down, Josh checked him over for concussion again and concluded he should be okay. 

“I’ve seen worse.” Josh said softly, rubbing his thumb over Tyler’s jaw. 

“My dad’s given me worse.” Tyler grumbled. Josh’s eyes flickered with sadness before shifting to something akin to understanding, but Tyler didn’t miss the way Josh pulled him closer, held him tighter. He always knew what to do and Tyler swallowed the emotions that stirred but they were eating him alive inside. He needed to stop spilling stuff to Josh, Josh was supposed to trust him but he didn’t need to do the same. “Sorry.” He sniffed. 

Josh shook his head but then sighed heavily. “You don’t remember, do you?” He asked and Tyler furrowed his brow in silent confusion. “The first day at mine, when I told you to keep talking, you were babbling nonsense mostly, but every so often you’d say things that made sense.” Josh’s eyes searched for a reaction but Tyler said nothing, so Josh kept talking. “You mentioned your father burning you, and Tyler I’ve seen the scars, I have seen you naked before it didn’t take much to put two and two together.” Tyler tensed, and Josh rubbed his hands comfortingly up and down his thighs. “It’s okay, you’re out of there now, he can’t hurt you anymore.” 

Tyler couldn’t process any emotions anymore, choosing to be numb and empty in preparation for what was to come and he was so glad for that because his heart was ready to explode even in this state. Josh rubbed away a single tear that escaped from under the mask. How could Josh be so gentle, so careful after everything, when he knew who he was, had heard Brendon’s warning that he was just like his father. 

There was a long pause before Josh opened his mouth to speak but he hesitated as though debating whether he should say it or not. He looked as though he was going to give up, resting his forehead against Tyler’s and taking a deep breath through his nose. He placed another feather light kiss to Tyler’s forehead before looking at him, speaking carefully. 

 

“You talked about Jenna too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for chapter summaries or just me telling you the extent of the triggers etc
> 
> or if you just have any questions pls shoot me a dm! :)
> 
> twitter: acatads  
> tumblr: josephthema


	11. xi. i was like "no please, stay here"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could be triggering so pls stay safe
> 
> also none of you can hate me more than i hate myself for this fyi 
> 
> :))))) have fun

“I-I did?” Tyler asked slowly. Josh shifted awkwardly beneath him, lifting Tyler out of his lap and placing him next to where he was sat against the wall. Tyler tried not to whimper at the lack of warmth. 

Josh took a careful breath. “You didn’t say much, but you were talking about how you used to go to church, that you’d tried to ask God things but it never worked, you said you think that wasn’t really why you went to church, you just wanted to see her.” Tyler’s whole body stiffened. “And then a bit later you called me her name.” Josh’s eyes flickered to his hands as he pushed himself a little further into the corner of the room at the memory. “You loved her.” Josh said brokenly after a pause. The words hung thick and heavy in the air in front of the pair, it wasn’t a question and they both knew it. 

Neither one said anything for a long time, Tyler sat pressed against the cold wall, resting his forehead against it to sooth the heat of his brow, his eyes closed, head pounding. After what felt like too long in his own head Tyler couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to get out of this bathroom. With great effort, every muscle screaming in protest, he pushed himself up the wall to stand over Josh. He waited, catching his breath, but Josh didn’t move. 

“I won’t compete with a ghost.” Josh mumbled, chin to chest whole body limp, still slumped into the corner. Tyler can’t speak, a lump is lodge in his throat. “I’m not her Tyler,” Josh looked up then eyes shiny with tears he refused to let spill. “I never will be.”  
Silence hung across the room, and after what felt like an eternity Tyler offered out a hand, pulling Josh to his feet. He wrapped his arms around Josh, he pushed every emotion down deep, compartmentalizing it forcing his brain to switch off and just let it happen. Josh held him loosely as though he wasn’t sure he wanted to be held, he’d meant what he said to Tyler and he didn’t know if Tyler was capable of fully accepting it. 

Tyler isn’t sure how it happens, he knows he took Josh face in his hands and kissed him slowly and he knows he let Josh lead him back to the same bed they first slept together on. He knows that Josh had every intention of going to sleep and pretending like nothing happened. He knows that it was he who initiated it, the kissing again before clothes are being shed and their lips are hot and heavy and Josh is the one crying this time but he doesn’t want it to stop, his nails biting at Tyler’s skin as Tyler rides him. It’s quick and quiet neither one wants to speak so the room fills with the sound of skin on skin and low moans and soft gasps and the occasional sniffle and whispered “you’re so good, so good.” 

As he comes, Josh lets out a broken whimper and Tyler pulls him closer, lips reattaching to swallow his whispered “I love you” because those words can’t be out there, in the room, he must snatch them up before they can tear straight through his chest like a bullet to the heart. But Josh has said them and he’s still crying as Tyler pulls off him and neither one has any energy so they fall asleep on their respective sides of the bed, still filthy and broken. 

Only Tyler can’t sleep, he can’t. 

He stares up at the ceiling in the static darkness, Josh’s shallow breathing his only soundtrack as he begins to pick apart all his thoughts and emotions. Taking them out the box he’s locked them away in, placing the puzzle pieces neatly out in front of him before he starts to work them into one whole train of thought, one decision, one course of action. 

He’s still numb, this process requires a certain numbness to be completed and he’s gotten very good at that over the years. He knows what he has to do, complete his plan and then get Brendon out and safe, get him and Sarah out of here, far far away so that his father won’t have time to find him while he’s dealing with what Tyler has done. 

His father will be proud of him he realises, for completing this plan, he’s doing exactly what his father might never have been able to. But does he even want that? Why would he ever want to do something his father would be proud of? He’s let his revenge, his anger consume himself for so long and now, in Josh’s arms it’s finally started to wear away, he’s remembered who he is, who he was before it was ripped from him. Before she was ripped from him. 

Tyler furrows his brow, he’s let his desire for revenge eat away at his soul until it’s turned dark and now he knows he’s exactly like his father, Brendon was right. Jenna would never forgive him, she’d never accept who he’d let himself become, this isn’t what she’d want from him. He berates himself for not coming to this conclusion before, before he put himself in an impossible position, before he fell in love with someone else. But thinking about her, just hearing her name was like being stabbed, a permanent dagger to his chest, a tear in his heart that every time he breathed, threatened to open and gush with blood, until his entire rib cage was drowning and yet, he kept living on. 

As a slow tear trickled down his face he hated himself, he had got himself into this mess, he owed it to Brendon’s child to see this through now. He had no choice, maybe Josh would understand, he supposed it didn’t matter, he was still full of anger, he could never be with Josh, not knowing what he’d done, not when every time he looked at him he saw her limp, bruised body, the scene replayed itself in his head and Tyler almost screamed, he’d tried so hard to push it down. 

_His father telling him, heavy hand on his shoulder that it was too late. The rain drenching through his clothes, of course it had been raining, the heavens were crying with joy, they’d just received an angel Tyler told himself. He looked past his father’s shoulder to see his brother broken and carrying her, Tyler ran to her snatching her away into his arms. He cradled her, he’d hoped to hold her in his arms like this as he moved into his new house, their house, and she’d laugh, like sunlight, and cling to him as he spun too fast and he’d laugh as she demanded he put her down. Just married, so in love, and they’d make love and she’d have glowed as she carried his children. But he’s looking down at her limp form now, no laugh, no glow, just a deathly blue paleness to her once ivory skin, her expression looked like she was sleeping, Tyler broke down then, collapsing to his knees, clutching her into his chest desperately, cheek resting on her forehead as he rocked back and forth. He screamed so loud it had made his sister break out in sobs of her own hiding herself in Zack’s chest. Their father remained stony faced, before turning and walking away._

_He’d screamed and cried and tried to bargain with the sky, screaming at the thick grey clouds, at God, at whoever would listen to give her back. Then he’d snapped, rocking back and forth in the rain, voice broken and racked with heavy sobs as he stroked her blonde hair out of her face and pressed his lips to her cold skin and sang to her._

_“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...” He sobbed out, and Mark had run to him, holding his shoulders, trying to get through to him, begging him to breathe and let her go by Tyler didn’t hear, his voice breaking off into another sobbed out cry as he sang the last line “so please don’t take my sunshine a-away…”_

_Not long after that, when he was shivering and no longer able to form words, so consumed by grief he’d shut down Mark and Brendon and his siblings had pried her from his grasp with soft hands, covering her up and carrying her to a car, Mark was the one who drove her body home to her father, who told him his only daughter was gone. Tyler was guided the opposite directions, hands pulling him back inside, but he remained fixated, watching her be driven away. Right before the car was about to move out of sight down the drive, Tyler had shrugged off his siblings, running after the car, chasing it all the way to the end of the drive before Brendon had tackled him to the ground, gravel biting at his cheek and palms, he was just able to lift his head to see her disappear forever, eyes blurring from tears or rain it didn’t matter which._

Tyler pushed aside the tears, easing himself out of the bed and back into his clothes. He carefully pulled open the draw next to where Josh slept, his hands were shaking as he pulled something out of it. He moved as gently as possible to straddle Josh, the light seeping under the door allowing him enough visibility. Josh looked so peaceful as Tyler leant forward to place a feather light kiss to Josh’s forehead, desperately trying not to let out his sobs. 

“I love you too, but I can never forgive you, I’m so sorry.” He whispered before sitting up. Tyler moved the object in his hand so that it was pointed at Josh, he clicked the safety off the gun as fresh tears pricked at his eyes. He was shaking so much, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t he wasn’t this person he-

“Tyler?” Josh’s horrified voice made him freeze, their eyes met for a brief second, both wide with fear, before the sound of a gun going off cut through the room.


	12. xii. "we don't need no money we can make it all work"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short filler for y'all cos i'm gonna be posting less for the next couple weeks (if at all) bc i have exams :(

The sound startled Tyler and caused him to drop the gun in his own hands and throw himself over Josh’s chest. The action startled Josh too causing him to jolt so hard it threw the pair off the edge of the bed and onto the floor. More gunshots sounded, closer now. 

Josh’s face was inches from Tyler’s his full weight pressing against him, his eyes filled with sheer terror and confusion. Another few gun shots sounded out and Josh scrambled off Tyler to grab a pair of pants. He just managed to put them on when the door burst wide open, the light blinding the pair. 

A group of large men in grey suits holding guns swarmed Josh, grabbing him into their custody. 

“Tyler? Oh thank God.” One of the men turned to him, the light catching his face so that Tyler could see it was Mark. Tyler tried not to breakdown as Mark pulled him into a hug. He used the hug to whisper into Mark’s ear. 

“Brendon’s being held in the basement, get him out please help him escape.” Mark could tell from the way Tyler’s shaking fingers gripped into his shoulder how serious he was and Mark promised to try as he pulled away. 

“Gentlemen, let’s go.” Mark nodded to the other men, he pushed Josh out the room aggressively. Josh only stared brokenly at Tyler, his eyes full of betrayal and Tyler felt like the wind hand been knocked out of him. He took a deep breath before picking up the gun off the floor and following his father’s men out of the building. 

He lost track of Josh in the chaos and he thought he might’ve been dying, he couldn’t breathe, his was hearing everything as though he was submerged in water, he barely registered his brother rushing to his side, pushing him into the back of a car quickly. He couldn’t find it in himself to force enough air into his lungs and he welcomed the serenity that washed over him as he passed out in his seat. 

Tyler awoke in his own bed, his head groggy, he vaguely remembered his brother practically dragging him up the stairs and shoving him onto his bed. Tyler groaned as he forced himself to sit up. 

He wasn’t sure what time it was or how much time had passed as stood in the shower but there was a part of him that resented the water, he felt like it was washing Josh’s touch from his skin. The look of betrayal on his face came to the forefront of Tyler’s mind and he desperately tried to shove it back down, his head still hurt. 

Tyler took his time to get redressed, he knew he was stalling but he wasn’t even sure what exactly he was putting off. His question was answered by a knock on his door. Before he could respond Mark was peering into the room sheepishly. 

“Hey buddy.” He said before pulling him into a brief hug. “Boss wants to see you.” He said sadly, patting Tyler’s shoulder. 

Tyler sighed, rubbing his eyes, he knew he’d have to face his father eventually. He just wished he’d spent more time thinking up a solid explanation for his disappearance. It seemed Mark could read his find. 

“I told him you’d gone undercover to get Brendon back, he didn’t seem sure but he had eyes on the club, thank god Josh blindfolded you, made it look like you’d been kidnapped so just tell your father that’s what happened.” Tyler nodded slowly as he processed everything. 

“Oh god Brendon.” He sighed sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. 

Mark sat next to him slinking an arm around him before lowering his voice. “He’s out, I managed to sneak him out the back.” Tyler almost broke down at that, relief flooding through his body, it hadn’t been for nothing. “Okay, time to go, don’t want to keep your dad waiting.”

Tyler followed Mark to his father’s study, taking a deep breath before cautiously stepping in. The room was painfully silent as he walked in. His brother was leant against his father’s desk next to the older man who was leaning over the front of his desk, his back to the door and Tyler. Mark sat on one of the couches pressed into the arm as close to the door as he could and Zack moved to join him but Tyler remained standing. As the heavy door clicked shut Mr. Joseph slowly lifted his head and turned to face his son. Tyler straightened his back, but he couldn’t help the way his body screamed at him to submit to him. His father’s gaze fell onto the other two men in the room.

“Get out.” He only needed to say it once before both men were scrambling out of the room, Mark gave Tyler an apologetic glance before he left, but it didn’t make tyler feel any better. 

“So.” His father loomed over him now, Tyler gulped. “You think you can simply ignore my orders and run off to play hero.” 

“No Sir.” Tyler refused to look at his father but he spoke clearly, he knew his father would only be twice as pissed if he thought he was mumbling. 

“What did you think you were doing?” This was a test. He was testing to see if the story Mark had given him was true. 

“I went to get Brendon back, thought I could kill the Dun kid and steal him back, it’s what a Joseph would do.” His father raised an eyebrow for a second.

“Well, thanks to you we did caught both of Dun’s heirs, he’s going to come for them and when he does we’re ready.” Tyler knew this was the end of it. His father didn’t dwell on things, the fact that he was telling Tyler his plan meant he’d moved on already, and maybe Tyler had just earned his respect. 

“Are they talking?” Tyler pushed, he needed to know how Josh was, he needed to see him. 

His father moved to sit at his desk. “Not yet but they will.”

“Let me try, Sir?” His father stared him down, and Tyler knew it looked suspicious. “The bastard kidnapped me, I think it’s only fair I pay him back.” Tyler shrugged, forcing a smirk onto his features. His father bought it, a grin laced with malice gracing his lips. 

“Be my guest Son.” Tyler nodded his thanks before his father dismissed him. 

As soon as the door shut behind him Tyler leant back against it, taking a deep breath of relief. Immediately he pushed off the door and headed towards the basement, where they had their own makeshift prison.


	13. xiii. but he headed out on Sunday

Tyler walked into the room slowly, two men following him, they quickly walked around the table in the middle of the room and pulled up the hunched figure in the corner. Tyler flinched as he saw the state his father had left Josh in, his one eye completely swollen shut as his cheeks were littered with cuts and bruises, his hair filthy and matted. He was relieved to see at least that someone had given him some clothes to wear. The men threw Josh down into the chair his handcuffs clattering loudly as metal met metal. Josh groaned as he rested his cheek against the hard table, already weak and his whole body aching with the rough handling. 

Tyler nodded at the men and they quietly left the room, locking the door behind them. 

“Are you going to kill me now?” Josh slurred out through swollen lips and white hot pain in his jaw. 

Tyler scoffed. “Maybe later.” 

“Well, I’m not really in the mood to talk to you right now, or ever so why don’t you just fuck off.” Josh spat finally pulling himself up off the table to look Tyler in the eye. 

Shaking, Tyler took a deep breath through his nose and sat opposite him. “Good, then you can listen. I’m going to tell you a story Joshua, so pay close attention.” The darkness in Tyler’s voice sent shivers down Josh’s spine, he’d never thought Tyler capable of such darkness and it only added to his heartbreak, had he ever really known the real Tyler, was every laugh and back story true. No, he could see just how terrified Tyler was behind this front, some of it, some it had been real, Josh knew it. 

“When I was fifteen my father let me join the basketball team, it was the only time he would let me stay late at school, not that it mattered, he never once came to a game.” Tyler shook his head berating himself for already going off track. “But anyway, around a year after this time I met this girl, her name was Jenna Black,” Josh sat up straighter, his heart sinking in his chest, Tyler looked at him to see if he’d piqued his interest yet, and satisfied he had he continued, “she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen” a lump caught in Tyler’s throat but he pushed past it to keep going this was important. “She was gorgeous, and her smile was infectious, she was the most amazing person, her heart was so pure, everyone loved her. It was hard not to fall for her, she used to look at me with these eyes, they were so blue I felt like they cut straight through me, but everything about her was soft. I never deserved her.” Tyler trailed off for a second, an emotional heaviness setting into the atmosphere. “Her father was a pastor, he used to give a Wednesday afternoon service and she was always there, without fail, smiling and collecting something for a charity. She cared so much. And I did everything I could to be near her, I even, I told my dad I had extra practice on Wednesdays just so I could sneak off to church to see her. She knew I was only coming to see her and she confronted me about it. After that, we started talking about faith and in her I guess I found some, I lost my faith the day my father made me watch him kill a man stone cold, I was twelve,” the memories made Tyler feel sick and Josh couldn’t bare it, closing his eyes to shut out the words. “Jenna wasn’t like other people, she didn’t care that my dad was some scary businessman, she didn’t think I was a heartless monster, cos I was ya know, I shut everyone out but she wormed her way in, it was like she drew open the curtains and let the sunlight in, you know that feeling when you get a patch of sun on your skin and it feels all warm and tingly, that’s what ever moment with her felt like, I loved her the minute I saw her, I never deserved her.”

Josh refused to speak, he couldn’t trust himself and he knew Tyler wasn’t finished. 

“My father never approved, why would he, the gangster’s son and the pastor’s daughter I should’ve know it was a tragedy waiting to happen. He didn’t find out we were together until we were already sleeping together, I didn’t lie to you.” Josh sat up straighter as he remembered the conversation they’d had the first night they’d slept together. “We’d been together for over a year when we finally had sex, she’d wanted to wait before and then one night she just said she was ready and afterwards she said it was because she trusted me wholeheartedly, I knew in that moment that I would marry her, that I’d be with her forever, I couldn’t love anyone more.” He trailed off as he briefly met Josh’s eyes, both of them holding their breath. “We were together from the age of sixteen ya know, eight _eight years_ we were together, and my father had no clue for at least seven of them. I proposed and two days later my father told me he knew and he wanted me to end it. I told him to go fuck himself. Then just under a year ago, your father took her hostage.” Josh’s brows furrowed, he didn’t have any clue what Tyler was talking about. “What? Nothing coming back to you, let me jog your memory.”

Tyler sat forward now his expression turning angry and dark. 

“Your father took her because he knew she was my fiancée and he needed leverage against my father. My father stole some of your guns, the same deal Brendon tried to make with you, and so you and your father tried to trade off, but that wasn’t enough for you was it, to get your stupid guns back.”

“Tyler I-” Josh began but Tyler leant of the table, slamming his hands down and screaming. 

“YOU KILLED HER JOSH. YOU TOOK THE ONLY THING I EVER LOVED AWAY FROM ME. YOU KILLED ME.” He slumped defeated and crying into his palms before composing himself and turning to Josh. “I was supposed to sleep with you to get your guard down so I could kill you like you killed me. But I can’t even do that right. I let you under my skin and I feel disgusting, I hate myself.” His voice was cracked and broken, as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. 

“I didn’t kill her.” Josh finally spoke up and Tyler laughed, he laughed in a way that made the hairs on Josh’s neck stand on end. “I promise you Tyler, I never saw her, my father wouldn’t bring an innocent girl into his business he’s not like that, if he wanted to kidnap someone it would be someone who worked for your dad or your family not her. My dad hasn’t made any deals with your family ever, why would he?” 

“No, you’re lying.”

“Tyler _please_ , your father lied to you, you said it yourself he wanted her gone, he’s lying Tyler I’ve never killed anyone in my life, I couldn’t, I-I wouldn’t.” Josh tried to reach out for Tyler but he flinched out the way, standing up and shaking his head. This was too much to process, his whole basis for living was a lie, he didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to let in the tiny shred of hope that he and Josh had a chance in. 

“I can’t do this.” He paced the room, a hand running through his hair. 

“Tyler I promise, I-I” his voice broke as he whispered the last words. “I love you.” 

Tyler stopped dead in his tracks, his heart ripping open, this was too much he was losing his grip on reality again and he wasn’t sure what to do anymore, he screamed up at the ceiling causing Josh to flinch and curl in on himself. 

“No, you’re lying, you killed her. You did, this is your fault this- you killed her- you had to…” He trailed away as he sunk to his knees breathing heavy. The facts falling away like sand through a sieve. 

Josh was silent.   
After some time Tyler picked himself up off the floor and headed for the door. 

“I’ve never lied to you Tyler.” He froze in his tracks, refusing to look back at Josh’s weak form. “If you won’t believe me, believe that twelve year old boy who just wanted to be a drummer.” 

With that, Tyler knocked on the door, it unlocked immediately before he was disappearing and the door was being locked behind him. Leaving Josh broken and cold and alone.


	14. xiv. said he'd come home Sunday

“What’s this?” Mark asked looking up from the file that had been slapped down onto the table in front of him. 

“The police report for Jenna’s death.” Tyler replied coldly. 

“Where did you get it?” Mark asked surprised, he put down the apple he’d been eating in favour of wiping his hands on his trousers before cautiously opening the folder. 

“I have a contact, he says he didn’t alter it, thought maybe you could see if it had been tampered with?” Tyler rubbed his face with a heavy sigh before sitting opposite his best friend. 

“Tyler, this lists her death as a suicide.” Mark said looking up at him. 

“I know. It doesn’t make sense.” He said looking anywhere but at the file. 

“There’s not even any pictures?” Mark was confused.

“Apparently there wouldn’t have been a report at all if her father hadn’t reported her missing earlier that day.” The subject was hard to talk about, but Tyler couldn’t avoid it anymore, he was tired and angry at the world and he wanted answers, _no_ he _deserved_ them. 

“Her death certificate says the same?” Mark asked scanning the form again. He just looked up in time to catch Tyler’s curt nod. 

“Why cover it up? Why wouldn’t my dad get Josh in trouble with the feds, it would give them a warrant to go after him, they could’ve shut down the entire Dun operation? Everyone knows they’ve been waiting for a reason to go after the Duns for years, this would be perfect.”

“Not if he knew they had an alibi.” Mark stated his face paling considerably as the pair made eye contact. 

Almost in sync the pair stood up.

“Salih’s stuff is still in the basement.” Mark said before gathering up the folder and heading off. 

They entered the small room, Tyler shivered at the draft, his eyes fixating on the blood stains on the wall, his mind reliving the trauma he’d experienced the last time he’d been in the room. Mark stared too, before snapping himself out of it and moving over the computer set up and powering it up. Tyler remained transfixed until Mark let out a small whoop of pride as he successfully guessed Chris’ password. Tyler shook his head as though to wipe it clean and leant over Mark’s shoulder to inspect the files. 

“There’s hundreds of logs, this could take all night.” Tyler commented frustrated, and Mark nodded scrolling through never-ending documents. 

“Wait.” He hovered over a file with the dates corresponding to the week Jenna died. Mark clicked it and sure enough, a full log of every Dun’s whereabouts was listed for all seven days. 

Mark skimmed it quicker than Tyler could, Tyler focusing on a surveillance shot of Josh, in a grey Nasa t-shirt, his arm around a girl laughing as the went into a Starbucks. There were photos of his dad meeting his suppliers, pictures of Josh’s sisters, the one at university, the other in her house, bouncing a baby on her hip, Josh’s brother Jordan was playing baseball with friends it seemed. Mark kept reading and scrolling, showing Tyler more photos. Photos of Josh and his family, happy and healthy and getting on a plane. 

“Wait.” Tyler said, hand on Mark’s shoulder. 

“They flew to Los Angeles for a long weekend, the entire family.” Mark finished his thought. “Josh, his siblings, Mr. and Mrs. Dun, sister’s husband and baby all of them. They flew out six hours before Jenna was discovered missing, if they’d taken her, then why fly out of the state –without her- immediately after?” Mark asked.

“Because they didn’t, did they?” Tyler confirmed. He felt sick. Mark searched the document to see if there were any more details, there was a report added to the bottom, attached pictures of the Dun family filing off the plane at LAX a contact in LA sending intel to Chris, the emails were screenshotted and attached, he was very thorough. 

Tyler stared at the pictures of Josh, he looked years younger even though only it wasn’t even a year since, his smile made something in Tyler’s chest tighten immensely. But there was a sour feeling as he saw his arm slung around the same petit redheaded girl from before, he looked like he really liked her and Tyler knew he hated her, knew that he was jealous despite throwing away any right to feel that way. 

“So, my father gets Chris to tell him when the Dun’s leave the state, kidnaps Jenna and plays it off as the Duns, but one thing still doesn’t add up.” Tyler says a lump forming in his throat.

“What?” 

“Why did he kill her?”

Silence fell over the two men as the harrowing thought set in. 

-x-

“I’m glad I couldn’t do it.” Tyler’s voice was timid as he sat opposite Josh once again. Josh looked up at him, expression broken. “I wanted to, I thought I did at least, because I blamed you for Jenna, and I blamed myself for Brendon. Ya know, I thought about just ending it all, ending myself instead, because I couldn’t bear the thought of becoming my father, of-of losing you.” 

Josh continued to stare, gaze boaring into Tyler like a drill. Tyler took a deep breath and tried to continue. “I backed myself into an impossible corner, I could make my mistakes right, get Brendon out, avenge Jenna, or I could let the guilt and pain eat me alive, but then I realised that killing you wasn’t gonna make the pain go away, it was only gonna make it worse. I’d already lost my first love, there was no way I could give up my second.”

Josh shifted then, his stony expression cracking for just a second, but he remained silent. 

Tyler tried to keep speaking but instead he crumbled, breaking down in his hands. “I’m so sorry Josh, I-I hate myself, I hate what I let happen to you, I’m so sorry.” He sobbed out, elbows resting on the table as he cried into his palms. He felt cold fingers curl around his wrists and pull his hands away. 

“I know you didn’t kill her.” Tyler said as Josh stared at him still, fingers squeezing his wrists tighter. “It doesn’t ever justify what I did to you, it never will, i-I don’t know who I’ve become but I don’t want to be him anymore.” Josh stayed silent and Tyler continued to sniffle and attempt to wipe his nose on his shoulder. 

“When I gave you concussion, who was that? Which Tyler was I making love to?” Josh’s voice was raw from lack of use, laced with pain, a mixture of both physical and emotional. Tyler froze, blinking and sniffing as he stared at Josh.

“Me. Th-that was real, the real me.” Josh’s eyes seemed to be glassy with brewing tears and Tyler couldn’t help the way his hard snapped. 

“Well, he’s the guy I fell in love with, so was he the one who tried to kill me?” Tyler let out another sob, biting his lip to hold it in as he shook his head vigorously. 

“I love you.” Tyler sobbed out. “I can never forgive myself for hurting you, you don’t have to accept my apology, just know that I mean it. I’m so sorry.” He’d put the broken and charred pieces of his heart on the table, if Josh wanted to crush them to dust then Tyler would consider it an honour, it was more than he deserved at this point. 

Josh shook his head slowly, this was painful. 

“Tyler, you thought I killed the love of your life and you still couldn’t kill me? Even when it was the only choice you felt you had?” He clarified, his grip on Tyler’s wrists so tight it hurt but Tyler said nothing only nodded. 

“I couldn’t hurt you.”

“I want to be alone now.” Josh mumbled and Tyler felt like his whole body had just been crushed with a hammer, like every bone had shattered leaving him in agony, a crumpled mess on the floor. Holding back more ugly sobs he nodded, but Josh didn’t let go of his wrists. 

“Come back tomorrow.” He said slowly, before releasing Tyler’s wrists and looking away. Tyler nodded before slowly exiting the room, taking a deep breath in order to snuff out the small flicker of hope Josh had lit in his chest. 

He immediately headed to his room, laying in the dark as he stared at the ceiling, desperately trying to pull himself together, to formulate a plan to get Josh and his brother out of captivity, even if Josh never forgave him, Tyler would save him, he owed him at least that.


	15. xv. i stayed up waiting, anticipating, and pacing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm baaaaaack
> 
> sorry its taken me forever to update this fic, i just had inspiration elsewhere etc 
> 
> i'm literally writing this instead of an essay so y'all better appreciate me (joke i hate myself lol)
> 
> anyways enjoy my babies being adorable and painful at the same time like always in this fic

“Your father wants to see you.” Tyler looked up from his breakfast, he’d been slowly pushing the scrambled eggs around his plate deep in thought. His mother looked at him sternly, sipping at her coffee. 

“Why?” Tyler mumbled and she glared at him.

“Don’t mumble, you’re not a child Tyler.” Tyler rolled his eyes but sat up straighter. His mother was a strict woman, Tyler remembers when he was little, up until not long after his youngest sibling Jay had been born that she had been soft, she had sung them to sleep –somewhat badly- and she had sheltered them from their father. But then his father had told her that she couldn’t nurse them forever, they’d been made weak, he needed his sons to be strong. His father hit him later that day because Tyler had asked his mom for a hug. She didn’t hug him anymore, she stopped hugging all of his siblings not much after. She was cold and withdrawn now, a stranger who he sometimes shared a dinner table with, she’d never even defended Tyler when he’d wanted to marry Jenna, even though he saw the way her eyes lit up with hope when she found out. 

Tyler let his fork clatter onto his plate, ignore the look of disgust his mother gave him for his ‘poor manners’. He pushed his chair back scraping loudly just to annoy her, before he deliberately abandoned his plate in favour of leaving the dining room. He ignored the huff of anger his mother gave, or the sad look Maddy gave him. 

Once outside his father’s study he collected himself, knocking on the door with shaking hands. He flexed his knuckles that were bruised from where he’d punched the wall last night in a state of despair. 

His father’s commanding tone seeped through the door and caused Tyler’s whole body to stiffen before he pushed the door open. He forced his body to stand up straight, a façade. 

His brother Zack was sat on one of the ugly green couches, picking at a small split in the leather surface. He visibly relaxed as Tyler joined him on the chair. 

“Perfect, my two sons, together.” Their father smiled but it felt unsettling. Tyler bit his tongue from reminding his father that Jay was also his son, just much younger and still in high school.   
Mr. Joseph leant back on the edge of his desk, eyes flicking between his two eldest children. “I have a meeting in California this week, I’m taking your mother.” Tyler and Zack glanced at one another before looking back to their father with wide eyes. 

“Sir?” Zack began, shrinking when his father looked directly at him, before nodding for him to continue. “I-If you’re going to California then who is supervising the Dun’s?” Tyler gulped as a sick grin made its way across his father’s face. 

“You two are.” A feeling of dread slithered down Tyler’s spine, his whole body heating up as he shook with anxiety. 

“I’m putting you both in charge, time to prove to me that this is your birth right.” He said firmly, before moving off his desk and wandering to the book shelf just behind it. He pulled something Tyler couldn’t see from his seat and fiddled with it. “Your mother and I will be flying out in less than eight hours, while I’m packing you have your first test.” 

Tyler couldn’t breathe as his father turned around to reveal the gun in his hands, the very one Tyler had held to Josh’s face less than a week ago. He was going to be sick. 

His father saw the way his sons looked at the gun in his hands, it was wrapped in a cloth to avoid fingerprints, but Tyler’s own ones would be on it. His father noticed the way he furrowed his brow and gestured to the gun in his hands. “It’s been cleaned, you’ll need to get the eldest, John…” His father hesitated seeming to know it wasn’t his name but not really caring. 

“Joshua?” Tyler supplied with a thick swallow. 

“Yes that one,” His father seemed slightly irritated by the correction but he continued regardless moving to place the gun in front of the two boys on the low coffee table. “Get him to hold it, force it into his hands I have no preference for how you go about it, but his fingerprints should be the only ones left on it.”

Both boys looked up at their father with confusion, and he sighed, disappointed in his sons cluelessness. “You’re going to use this gun to kill the other brother. I want him out of the picture by the time I board that plane, understand?”

Tyler couldn’t breathe but he nodded. 

“Which one of you wants to do the honours?” Mr. Joseph leant back against his desk again with another sickening smile. Panicked and desperate Tyler stood abruptly. 

“I will.” Zack looked up at his brother incredulously, but secretly relieved he didn’t have to be the one to do it. Mr. Joseph looked impressed as he folded his arms. 

“By the time I board that plane, Tyler.” He reminded with raised eyebrows. “I always knew you wouldn’t let me down.” The hard smack of his father’s hand on his back would’ve knocked the wind out of him if he hadn’t already been holding his breath. A few months ago, those words might have been all Tyler could’ve hoped for, but now just being in his father’s presence made his skin crawl, made him have to do everything in his power not to scream and cry and beat him until his blood was all over his stupid ugly green couches. 

Tyler nodded and the two men were dismissed by their father, but not before Tyler was forced to pick up the gun and take it with him. He prayed his shaking hands didn’t give him away. 

As soon as he was out of the room, door closed firmly behind him, he attempted to make an immediate getaway but Zack stopped him with a firm hand wrapping around his elbow. 

“Tyler, you can’t actually-”

“I said I’ll handle it Zack. Just stay out of it, let me sort it okay?” Tyler swallowed hard praying his brother would listen to him. Zack opened his mouth as though about to say something, before abruptly shutting it and letting go of Tyler’s arm. 

He nodded with a resigned sigh. “Okay.”

Tyler nodded, before heading down to the basement, he needed to talk to Josh. 

As he approached the room, he realised he was still holding the gun, he wrapped it in the cloth and pocketed it awkwardly before approaching the door for where they were keeping Josh. It was then that he realised the two men usually guarding the door were not at their posts. Tyler felt panic rise in his chest, which quickly turned into bile in his throat as he heard the far too familiar sounds of fists hitting skin and tiny grunt of pain. Tyler instantly pushed the door open, grateful it was unlocked. 

“Enough.” He said firmly. The two men had Josh pressed against the corner, his whole-body limp and curled up to provide some kind of protection, but it obviously wasn’t very successful. The bigger of the two landed one final kick to Josh’s abdomen before leaving with the second. It took everything in Tyler not to pull the gun in his pocket out and kill the guy for doing so. 

As soon as the door was locked behind the two men Tyler took the gun out and placed it on the table before immediately running to Josh and dropping to his knees beside him. 

“I’m so sorry.” Tyler couldn’t hide the unsteadiness in his voice. He carefully reached a hand out to brush the curls off Josh’s forehead. Josh flinched away at first before his eyes met Tyler’s, they held fear for a brief second before fading to pain and Tyler felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. “I’m so so sorry Josh.” Tyler gently picked Josh up, cradling him into his lap as he sat down. 

Josh only sniffed shaking from pain and scrunching his eyes shut as he tried to pretend he wasn’t in as much pain as he was. Tyler knew he was putting up a front, it was a habit he’d learnt too, never showing people he was vulnerable was another lesson he’d had beaten into him. His heart ached. 

“Stop it.” Josh slurred his whole jaw aching. He clutched Tyler’s shirt tighter at the pain, less relaxed when Tyler stopped running his fingers lightly across his scalp. 

“Stop what?” Tyler asked worried he was hurting Josh.   
“Beating yourself up.” Josh pushed the words out despite how every cell in his body screamed in pain. 

“I can’t help it, this is all my fault. I hurt you in the worst way possible, I got you and your brother captured, I’m the reason you’re in so much pain and-and all out of some petty grab for revenge.” Tyler sighed, looking at Josh with sad eyes as he continued his ministrations through Josh’s hair. 

Josh muffled his yelps of pain, biting his lip hard as he tried to move so he could look at Tyler directly. “But that guy wasn’t you Tyler, you said you didn’t know who he was, you were blinded by grief anyone can understand how that could have destroyed you. The point is that-that you caught yourself at the crucial moment, you didn’t kill me, you tried to fix it.” Josh lifted a shaky and bloody hand to Tyler’s face, attempting to wipe the stray tear that had escaped Tyler’s eyes, Tyler berated himself for being so pathetic once again. Here Josh was, possibly bleeding internally, and he was still managing to comfort Tyler when it should’ve been the other way around. 

“I don’t deserve you.” Tyler said and Josh gave him an angry look. 

“Maybe Tyler Joseph heir to a mafia doesn’t. But _Tyler_ the kid who rode bikes with his brother and wanted to be an nba star and loved a girl so completely that he changed his whole outlook for her, he deserves more than I could ever give him. I love him.” Josh took a deep pain-ragged breath as Tyler’s heart stopped at the confession. “And I’m not actually naïve enough to think they’re completely separate people, I know that I have to accept that, but I don’t care anymore. Getting the shit kicked out of me, made me realise holding grudges doesn’t bring anything good and I don’t want to hate you Tyler, I-I couldn’t, I can’t, I tried.” 

Tyler pulled Josh closer, his hand stroking his cheek. “I love you, I never thought I’d ever be able to feel this way again but I do, I really truly do, I love you more than I ever wanted to admit.” Another tear escaped his eyes as he pulled Josh into his chest. 

“I forgive you.” The words were whispered against Tyler’s neck, cold lips brushing Tyler’s warm skin and Tyler held his breath in shock, certain he’d misheard. Clinging to the hope he wasn’t dreaming he pressed a kiss to Josh’s forehead squeezing his eyes shut. He pulled away only for Josh’s cold fingers to pull his head down so their lips met. It was brief on account of the immense pain Josh was in, but Tyler relished the feeling of safety that rushed through him, he knew Josh felt it too by the way he went boneless in Tyler’s arms. Josh stifled another sob but Tyler pulled him so he was more comfortable, resting his cheek on top of Josh’s head. 

“It’s okay to let it out, I know how much it hurts baby but I’m gonna make sure they never lay another finger on you again okay?” Tyler said letting Josh whimper and cry into his chest, his whole body shaking almost violently with how cold he was, how much pain he was in. Tyler’s chest ached as he stroked Josh’s hair and kissed his forehead once again. “I’m gonna protect you now, starting with getting your brother out of here.” 

And that’s exactly what he planned on doing next.


	16. xvi. but he was chasing paper

The sound of the gun shot ricocheted around the small room, bouncing off the grubby white walls. Josh whimpered as his hair was yanked, forcing him to look at his brother’s dead body as it lay on the floor. 

Tyler put the gun down, removing his gloves. He nodded at Mark coldly as Mark hunched beside the corpse. 

“No pulse, he’s dead.” He confirmed and Josh made some kind of strangled noise in his throat. Tyler took a deep breath. 

“Okay, take his body to where we agreed. Take the gun too.” Tyler jerked his head at the two men holding Josh, without a second thought they let go of him, letting his body crash to the floor ungracefully without support to keep his broken limbs upright. The men helped Mark to pick up the corpse, all of them wearing gloves, and wrap it in a bed sheet before taking it out the room. 

As soon as the door shut Tyler almost collapsed, rushing over to cradle Josh in his lap. “You did so good, so good.” He soothed into his ear, pressing a kiss to Josh’s temple as Josh lay exhausted in his lap, breathing heavy and jagged.   
“It looked so real.” He was trembling but Tyler just held him closer. 

“I know but I had to make it convincing, I’m so sorry. But it’s okay now he’s out and he’ll get the message to your father about the plan. Mark will take care of him okay?” Tyler reassured rocking back and forth in an effort to relax Josh. 

“A-are you sure?” Josh asked hesitantly. 

“Josh, I’d trust Mark with my life, you can trust him with your brothers.” He assured and Josh nodded, whole body suddenly heavier as he finally let go of the tension he’d been holding. 

Tyler kissed his forehead again, taking in the way Josh was covered in weeks of sweat and dirt and the way his hair was matted and falling over his face in scraggly curls, like an overgrown hedge, he was starting to look feral, his eyes dead, no longer glinting like they used to whenever Tyler teased him or fucked him. 

It made Tyler’s bottom lip jut out and Josh noticed. “What’s wrong?” He tried to sit up in his lap better but his body was too exhausted. 

Instead of responding Tyler rubbed his nose against Josh’s tenderly. Before shifting him in his lap. “Can you stand?”

Josh nodded weakly and let Tyler pull him to his feet without question. He leant heavily on Tyler however, unable to keep himself upright without Tyler propping him up. 

“Okay, okay.” Tyler reassured Josh, or maybe himself he wasn’t sure. He was trying to psyche himself up for this. “Do you think you can walk?”

“Alone?” Josh raised an eyebrow and Tyler nodded. Josh frowned, taking a sharp breath in through his nose before pushing off Tyler and standing on his own, he wobbled a bit and Tyler flinched as though to catch him but Josh was able to regain control of his limbs and stay upright. 

“I’m gonna handcuff you but I’ll do it loosely, promise.” Tyler assured and Josh only nodded, still confused about Tyler’s endgame. He hissed as the cool metal met with his raw wrists, but Tyler stuck to his word and made them as loose as possible. 

“Okay just, stay quiet and follow my lead.” Tyler guided Josh towards to door, wrapping a hand around Josh’s arm so he could hold him upright if he needed. With a deep breath, he kissed Josh on the cheek before opening the door to the room and guiding Josh out. He puffed out his chest in faux confidence and began leading him down the corridor towards the stairs up into his house. 

He almost froze when someone came down the steps, looking at him confused. Tyler did his best not to seize up. 

“There’s no need for you to stand guard, I’m gonna take him for a drive.” He emphasized the word drive hoping it would be convincing. The guy stared for a second before putting the pieces together, he smirked evilly. He slapped Josh on the back as he walked past. 

“Have fun.” He said but it didn’t feel like a friendly comment, the words made Josh’s skin crawl, shuddering. Tyler faked a laugh, gripping Josh harder. 

“I’ll try not to have too much.” He shouted back and the guy seemed pretty impressed by the comment before slipping into another room. Tyler let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding before practically dragging Josh up the steps. 

Josh’s whole body was screaming at him to stop moving, the effort burning his whole body, eating up his muscles like there was a fire licking up his bones. He was panting hard after just a small staircase, he didn’t know how long he could keep going, there was only so much leaning into Tyler’s hold that he could do before he collapsed entirely. 

“Okay, almost there, just gotta sneak you down one more hallway and up some stairs and you’ll be safe.” Josh nodded shakily. 

By some miracle Tyler was able to get Josh down the corridor and up the stairs before they heard someone approaching. Panicking, Tyler dragged Josh as fast as possible towards his bedroom door, but the footsteps just got closer. 

“Sorry!” He whisper-shouted at Josh before he practically threw him into his room and shut the door. He winced as he heard the soft thumb of Josh hitting the floor through the thick wood. 

“Tyler?” Tyler froze, turning slowly. 

“Hey Zack.” He smiled awkwardly. 

“Are you doing okay?” Zack asked obviously sensing that Tyler was acting weird. Tyler berated himself, and took a deep breath.

“Yeah why?” Tyler asked casually. 

“Well, you did just kill someone today?” Zack said cautiously, brow furrowed. 

“Oh, yeah, that.” Tyler willed his hands to stop shaking. “I guess it’s just part of the job now.” He waved it off and Zack nodded sadly. 

“Can we talk about the plan?” Zack asked and Tyler froze. 

“Hm?”

“The plan, what we’re gonna do next… with Josh?” He pressed and Tyler gulped. 

“Don’t worry, I’m gonna take him for a drive now…” Tyler said covering his tracks. “By the time his father finds him it’ll be weeks.” He assured, lying through his teeth. 

Zack seemed surprised but then visibly relaxed. “Thank you, for sorting this.” He said and Tyler nodded. 

He started walking back towards the stairs as Zack headed the other way, but once he was out of sight he doubled back and slipped inside his room, immediately locking the door. 

He rested his head on the door, trying to gather himself, but he was snapped out of his spiralling breakdown by a small grunt from the floor behind him. 

“Oh God sorry!” Tyler scrambled to the floor, immediately undoing the cuffs on Josh and tossing them to the other side of the room. He picked Josh up and placed him on the bed. 

Josh almost cried at the feeling of a bed beneath him, his muscles finally resting. He tried so hard to stay awake but his eye lids immediately began shutting. 

“It’s okay baby,” Tyler soothed, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand, before brushing hair off his face and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Get some sleep, you need it.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” He slurred out, fist clinging loosely in Tyler’s shirt and Tyler continued to card a hand through his hair. 

“Of course.” Tyler let his lips brush barely there kisses over Josh’s eyelids as he watched the man he loved fall into a much needed sleep. “But I have to do something so don’t be alarmed if I’m not here okay, you’re safe.” He assured. 

Once he could hear the deeper breaths, that slipped out of Josh’s slack open mouth he knew he had fallen asleep. 

Tyler shifted slightly to grab his phone, immediately pulling up Mark’s contact number and calling him. 

As it rang he absent-mindedly played with Josh’s hair, just enough to sooth him but not wake him. 

“Hello?” Came the voice on the other end of the line. 

“Hey how did the drop off go?” Tyler said quietly, fiercely protective of Josh’s sleep. 

“As planned. I’m on my way back now.” Mark responded just as vaguely, both aware that the conversation might be monitored. 

“When you get back I want to go on a drive.” He said hoping to God that Mark understood what he was asking. 

Mark hesitated and then responded. “So you want me to meet you at your car?”

“Yes, see you in a few minutes.” Tyler hung up and looked down at the sleeping man beside him, the last time they had been in this position Tyler had held a gun to Josh’s head and wished he’d put it to his own instead. But none of the matter now, now there was only making up for things, there was only saving Josh because that was all that mattered anymore; Josh’s safety. Tyler moved off the bed carefully. “Gonna keep you safe.” He whispered with a light kiss to Josh’s forehead before pulling the blankets up over Josh. He gathered up some of his things and then slipped out of the room, quick to shut and lock the door, before heading downstairs to meet Mark in the garage.


	17. xvii. "caught up in the game," that was the last i heard...

When Tyler had reached the garage, Mark wasn’t back yet, he sat against the hood of his own car –barely driven- for a while thinking or trying hard not to, depending on what topics his brain decided to stumble upon. A thought struck him as he tried to plan his actions when he got back from this ‘drive’. Mark wasn’t back yet still so he pushed himself off his car, dusting off the suit he wore for ‘business’. He swiftly made his way back to his room, hoping he didn’t bump into anyone. 

He unlocked his bedroom door and slipped quietly inside. As gently as he could he roused Josh. 

“Baby, I need these clothes.” He tugged on the dirty t-shirt Josh was wearing as Josh’s eyes tried to open, his face screwed up in pain as he tried to shift. “Can I change you please?” Tyler whispered softly hovering over Josh’s face. Josh attempted a weak nod and a mumbled ‘yes’ so Tyler placed a kiss on his forehead before peeling back the bed sheets. 

He removed the trousers Josh was wearing, they were too tattered, probably chafing if he hadn’t been sat in the same corner for most his time in captivity. He’d not had chance to change them from when he had been captured so Tyler almost faltered when he realised he wasn’t wearing boxers. The memory of the day, of Josh’s betrayed expression as he’d been pushed out of the room. Carefully Tyler supported Josh as he tried to sit up enough to let Tyler remove his shirt. His eyelids fluttering against his high cheekbones as he flopped back onto the bed with exhaustion. 

He lay exposed, but not in a way that should make him blush. This wasn’t about sex this was about Tyler taking care of his most prized possession. Tyler tried to ignore the way his heart hurt and the sight of the nasty purple and yellow that splattered across his now protruding ribs, some how the faint outline of Josh’s abs was still definable despite the weeks of starvation and torture. His freckles stood out more as his skin seemed paler. Tyler sniffed, bunching up the dirty clothes in his hand and placing them down on the side before rooting through his draws for a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Tyler had a habit of buying t-shirts two sizes too big so he knew it would drown Josh’s own frame much the same, especially now he was skinnier. 

Still treating Josh like he was made of glass, ready to shatter. His breathing was jagged as Tyler had to move his arms into their respective sleeves. Josh stared at him half-lidded, teetering on the edge of sleep, ready to get swept away with the tide. 

Tyler pulled his boxers up, and placed another light kiss to Josh’s forehead when he felt him shivering, Josh’s arms had been rather cold when he’d dressed him. He grabbed a pair of sweats and some socks and quickly dressed Josh in them, pulling the bed sheets up to his shoulders. He placed a kiss on Josh’s temple about to move away when he felt Josh’s hand escape the covers to wrap around his wrist. He shivered as his cold fingers pressed weakly into his wrist, Josh tugged him closer as best he could and Tyler took the hint. He considered the fact Mark was waiting but decided to ignore it when Josh looked at him, finally opening his eyes. 

Tyler climbed into the bed next to him, sitting up against the headboard, letting Josh curl into him and leach his body heat. Josh rested his head just below Tyler’s chest as he rubbed soothing circles into Josh’s back. Josh was asleep in seconds, still shivering minutely. 

Tyler lost track of time as he watched Josh sleep, lost in his own world of worry. Josh’s face, though slack occasionally tensed, brow furrowing or corners of his mouth twitching into an almost frown, the pain evident on his face. His fist held a little tighter to Tyler’s jacket when he tensed like that but Tyler only had to rub light fingertips over his spine to cause him to let out a little puff of air and relax. Tyler didn’t want to have to leave him, even though he knew he needed to. 

The handle to his door slowly began to open and fear punched a hole from the base of his spine and out his chest as he froze. 

Mark’s confused face poked through the door. 

“Hey, relax it’s just me.” He promised, hands raised and Tyler tried to still his rapidly beating heart, letting out a shaky breath. Mark locked the door behind himself, about to head towards Tyler when his eyes came to fix onto the sleeping figure beside him. An unreadable expression overcame his face but he simply looked away from where Josh was curled up against his lover. 

“Are you ready to go?” He asked in a whisper and Tyler nodded. He mentally psyched himself up before cautiously lifting Josh off in the hopes it wouldn’t wake him. He slid out from under the sleeping brunette, making sure to tuck the covers back around him, he shifted but he didn’t wake. 

Tyler grabbed the handful of clothes from where he had abandoned them and gestured for Mark to stop staring at Josh in order to exit his room, immediately locking the door behind him. Before Mark could say anything Tyler fixed him with a look before hurrying back down the garage. Mark was about to get into his own car when Tyler climbed into his own, dropping the clothes on the backseat behind him. Mark raised his eyebrows but locked his own car and climbed into the passenger seat. 

“We never take your car.” Mark said as he buckled himself in. Tyler practically sped down the drive, having to almost slam the breaks when he approached the gate too quickly and it hadn’t had time to open wide enough. “Would you slow down?”

Tyler remained fixed on the road, taking sharp breaths through his nose. 

He didn’t speak again until almost an hour later, in the same abandoned parking lot that Josh had met him in the night Chris had died. The night already setting him painting the sky a murky deep blue. His face was framed by the orange light of the fire that burned intensely in front of them providing a nice blanket of warmth as he sat on the bonnet of his car staring into the flames that licked up and out of the trash can, lost in thought. 

He took a swig of the vodka bottle in his hand, wincing as it burnt its way down his throat. 

“I’ll drive back then.” Mark said, hands on hip where he’d been pacing in a small circle since the fire had been lit a few minutes ago. 

_Tyler had dragged the half full public trash can over, pulling out Josh’s dirty clothes and placing them in it. Tyler had rummaged around under the passenger seat of his car for a minute before producing the bottle of alcohol, ripping off the tape that he’d used to hold it to the underside of the chair. Mark’s eyebrows had almost reached his hairline._

_“If it’s not Zack or Jay trying to steal it, it’s Maddy or my mom trying to confiscate it.” He shrugged and both men pretended not to find it sad that they’d had to get used to going to extremes to hide things because of the way they were raised. Being raised to become leaders of a mafia, surrounded by dangerous men, terrified to accidentally trip over the fine line that circumstance drew in the sand, it had taught them how closely to play their cards to their chests. But amongst it all, they had only grown closer to one another, shared horrors and experiences forcing them to rely on and trust one another in a bond stronger than blood, stronger than anything known to man. They had very little identity beyond the “Joseph Lebanese Mafia” Brand and yet they would both say their defining characteristic was their undying loyalty and friendship to one another. Mark knew Tyler better than he knew himself._

_Tyler had poured half the bottle into the trash with the clothes before pulling out a lighter he once stole from his father and since had kept stashed in his cars glove box, he flicked the metal casing open. He threw it in the trash can, instantly igniting a fire before sitting back against the bonnet and watching it grow as Mark paced._

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Tyler said, lips wet with vodka as he took another swig, eyes scrunching. Mark seemed un-phased at his ignorance of his previous statement about driving them both home, but he stopped walking circles to sit beside him. 

“Because, it was something you needed to figure out for yourself.” He sighed staring into the flames too. 

“Guess I fucked up.” He shrugged with a sniff and another swig. 

“Nah.” Mark sniffed too, the contrast of the warm fire against the winter air causing his nose to start running. Tyler finally looked at him but he didn’t look back. “I think revenge killing is a bigger fuck up than falling in love.”

Tyler turned back to the fire, as though (ironically) looking at Mark burned him. They sat in silence staring at the small fire. The only sound, the occasional sloshing of the vodka bottle as Tyler took sips and the crackling of the flames, the sound of metal expanding as the heat rose inside it, the clothes already charred and disintegrating. 

“Can I just ask one thing?” Mark began hesitantly, only spurred on by the weak shrug Tyler gave as he pressed the bottle back to his lips. “Is he worth it?”

Tyler paused, holding the bottle in mid-air before slowly lowering it. He swallowed thickly. “Remember that one time Jenna called me her ‘Ride-or-Die’ and you said that’s how you knew she was the one?” He said slowly, catching the stiff nod Mark gave in his peripheral vision. “He’s _my_ ride-or-die.” He squeezed his eyes tightly, blinking back the alcohol induced haze or tears, or perhaps a mixture of both.

Mark simply nodded, moderately pleased with the answer. 

“I’m in.” He said eyes fixed on the orange flames, as though he was searching for something within them. Tyler looked at him, brow furrowed in confusion. “I’ll help you with this plan. I mean I know I helped earlier with the brother but- but if this is it for you, if this is how I keep my best friend, then I’ll be damned if I won’t help you.”

Unable to find words, Tyler pulled Mark in for brief glassy-eyed embrace. 

“Think we’ve been gone long enough?” Mark asked once they pulled away, looking up at the now pitch black sky, there were too many clouds to see the stars, instead just a blank vastness greeted the pair. With a sniff Tyler stood away from the car, only swaying the tiniest amount. He threw the vodka bottle, which barely had anything left in it aggressively off to the side so that it smashed against the asphalt. 

Mark said nothing, simply watching Tyler with a worried brow as he caught the keys Tyler threw at him. Already noticing the way Tyler had began crawling back inside himself, retreating to the furthest part of his mind so he could go about compartmentalising his emotions in preparation for whatever plan he was still building in his mind. 

He leant against the car window in a reserved drunken daze, tapping his knuckle against the glass dumbly as Mark drove them home. Once back at the house Mark successful navigated him past his siblings who were in the kitchen discussing something and up the stairs, helping him unlock his door. 

Before Tyler could slip inside Mark pulled on his jacket sleeve. “Don’t leave again.” Was all Mark said, and Tyler stared at him, opening and closing his mouth like a fish for a second before staring fixedly at his shoes. “I don’t mean physically Ty, I’m talking about that thing you do where you disappear inside your own head for so long you lose yourself and some other guy takes over. _Josh_ needs you, now more than ever okay? Ride or die right?” Mark says squeezing his shoulder and practically resting their foreheads together. Tyler only nods, his whole mind slow to process the words as his spins, the last few sober him almost instantly. 

“Ride or die.” He slurs out with another pointed sniff before slinking back into his dark bedroom, swallowed by the darkness. Mark waits for the click of the lock before he heads to his own bed with a heavy sigh and a shake of his head. 

Tyler’s eyes take a while to adjust to the dark and he almost falls over trying to find his way to get to the lamp to turn it on. Josh stirs at the disturbance, blinking open and shifting a little to look at where Tyler is stripping down to his boxers and throwing on a loose t-shirt. He stifles a hiccup as he’s about to climb into the bed and Josh immediately crinkles his nose at the scent of alcohol on his breath. 

With a sigh and another hiccup, he slinks off to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and drinking water from the tap to try and get rid of the traces of vodka but he knows he’s too far gone when he has a moment with his reflection in the mirror. 

He brings the cup he uses to rinse his mouth in, with water in it and helps Josh drink from it. Feeling his hot forehead, he manages to co-ordinate himself enough to pull back the covers and help josh out of the sweats he put on him earlier, he’s much less careful than earlier and he slurs out soft ‘sorry’s with every clumsy fumble of his fingers. 

“It’s okay.” Josh promises, pulling Tyler down beside him. Letting Tyler get settled, spooning him. “Are you okay?” He seemed to hesitate but then he asked anyway, thumbs rubbing circles over Tyler’s arms. 

“Am now.” He promised, kissing josh’s shoulder and snuggling closer. He turned away briefly to click the light off before returning to his rightful position wrapped around the older male. 

“Ty,” The voice sounded so small and broken that for a second Tyler didn’t recognise it, his heart thrumming dangerously. He instinctively moved closer to Josh, nuzzling into the crook of his neck painting it in light kisses. “I love you.” Josh said, his voice cracking and Tyler thought his stomach was about to jump out of his throat. 

Tyler fumbled blindly in the dark to map out Josh’s face, his eyesight not quite adjusted enough, but he located Josh’s lips and placed a, somewhat awkward and slightly off-centre, kiss to them. Josh kissed back instantly shifting to make them align despite the ache that radiated through his whole body. Tyler’s mouth tasted of vodka and toothpaste but that wasn’t why it was dizzying. 

“Love of my life,” Tyler breathed out as they pulled away and settled back into their comfortable positions, sleep already threatening to take them both, Tyler especially, the kiss finally allowing him to release the tension in his body. “Love you so much,” he mumbled into Josh’s shoulder pressing him back into his chest firmly, grounding him, lips ghosting kisses along his neck, “my ride or die.” He said before slipping away into a dreamless sleep, Josh clinging to him like he might disappear, but he wasn’t leaving this time, not again, not when Josh needed him. _Not when he needed Josh._


	18. xviii. you went out every night, and baby that's alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// v*mitting and descriptions of cuts/bruises 
> 
> but that aside this is 3k+ words of pure joshler fluff 
> 
> (i can write 3k of this but can i write my 2k word essay thats due in two days ?? no....... pls kill me)
> 
> ((also i cried while writing the bit in the bath bc i will die alone hA bYE))

When Tyler awakens the next day his head is still spinning, almost worse than before and he thinks for one brief disorientated minute that he might be on a boat. But then the obnoxious churn in his stomach makes him almost violently rip his limbs from where they’re fiercely, protectively wrapped around Josh, their bare skin searing hot and stuck together, it rips away almost like Velcro, just as violently waking Josh. Tyler doesn’t have time to apologise as he’s kicking off the covers and staggering, knocking his hip into the doorframe, into the bathroom. Josh winces as his mind comes-to to the sound of Tyler being aggressively ill into the toilet bowl. 

Groaning Tyler flushes weakly and then wills the spinning to stop as he rests his cheek against the seat, enjoying the way it cools his hot skin. _So maybe half a bottle of neat vodka on an empty stomach before bed wasn’t such a good idea… but he hadn’t felt_ that _bad when he’d got into bed, maybe a little clumsy and numb and everything felt like it was under a film or a lens that allowed it to seem softer and easier to approach, but not_ bad. 

Slowly his conversations from last night returned to him, the fragility of Josh’s voice as he’d made sure Tyler understood how much he meant to him. The fire in Mark’s eyes as he’d promised to help, or was that just a reflection of something, _oh of course, he remembers now._

He flinches almost violently when Mark’s words echo through his skull, 

_“Don’t leave again. Josh needs you.”_

He finds himself turning his head as much as his shaking body allows so he can throw up again, this is agony. _No,_ a voice in his head tells him, _it’s karma._

He hears the awkward padding of feet and jagged heavy breathing, obviously moving with great effort before a soft cool hand is on the back of his neck. He shivers before turning his head to look up, cheek smushed into the seat once again. He tries to lift his hand but Josh beats him to it, flushing the toilet on his behalf. 

“It’s not good to sit that close to the toilet when it flushes.” He says, his morning voice like velvet when rubbed the wrong way. Tyler just lets his body flop down onto the floor, curling into a ball, he relishes the way the tiled floor is cooler than the toilet seat. 

With small whimper of pain, Josh sits beside him, a hand gently rubbing along Tyler’s protruding spine, fingertips tracing out the bumps and ridges. 

“I suck.” Tyler mumbles out. Josh makes a noise of confusion, quirking an eyebrow. “I wanted to take care of you but instead you’re still looking after me.” His voice is slightly slurred from how much excess spit is in his mouth and he almost wants to throw up again with the effort it takes to produce sound. 

“Ty,” Josh scoots a little closer so he can stroke hair off Tyler’s face. “You’ve taken care of me, I’m just repaying the favour today. Not everything has to be a competition to see who can love the other more, it’s a give and take -you take care of me and I take care of you. It’s called ‘looking out for each other’, it’s what love looks like to normal people.” Josh laughs a little at the last bit and Tyler can’t help but try a weak smile of his own. 

“I adore you.” Tyler says back, grabbing at Josh’s hand that’s been stroking through his hair, squeezing it. He smacks his lips, and pushes himself into a sitting position before forcing himself to stand. Immediately he pours himself a cup of water from the sink and chugs it. He pours a second, passing it down to where Josh is still sat against the wall. 

Tyler is halfway through brushing his teeth when Josh stands, Tyler pausing to help him up. Then he’s holding up a finger in silent indication for Josh to wait. He scrabbles through the cabinet under the sink before retrieving what he’s looking for. He stands triumphantly holding out the packaging, quickly spitting the toothpaste and spit that’s built up in his mouth before rinsing. Then he’s ripping off the plastic wrapping and placing the green toothbrush into Josh’s palm with a smile. 

Josh stares at it like he’s never seen a toothbrush before in his life and Tyler starts to feel like maybe he’s done something wrong again.

“It’s a spare, when I asked Mark to buy me a new one a while ago he said he didn’t know if I’d want blue or green so he got both. But now you can have it – while you stay here I mean.” Tyler knows his face must be bright red but Josh just keeps staring at him with this look in his eyes and he has no idea what it means.

Silently Josh goes about brushing his teeth, and Tyler doesn’t know what to do so he begins to head back to his bedroom when Josh’s hand curling around his bicep stops him. Tyler looks at him as he spits and puts the toothbrush down on the countertop, before he’s moving his hands to cup either side of Tyler’s face and pull him in for a slow kiss. Revelling in the clean fresh taste of Tyler’s spearmint toothpaste. 

Tyler smiles as they pulled apart. “I’m gonna run you a bath, sit down.” He gestured over to the toilet, and Josh limped over shutting the lid before sitting on it. 

Tyler immediately went about filling the tub, squeezing in some of his fluorescent blue body wash in the hopes it made some form of bubbles. “Manly bubbles. For men.” Tyler said dramatically gesturing at the bottle which had the phrase “FOR MEN” in big bold letters across the front. 

Josh couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him, shaking his head and biting his tongue to stop himself. Tyler felt his own smile try to split his face in half before padding over and placing a soft kiss onto Josh’s forehead. He then began gently pulling at the hem of Josh’s shirt, “arms up.” Josh huffed with effort as he lifted his arms as best he could, the t-shirt dropping to the floor beside him. 

Before Josh could reach out to pull Tyler in for a kiss Tyler was stepping back over to the now sufficiently filled tub and turning off the tap. He motioned for Josh to come over and Josh did so with a small whine from the pain that coursed through his whole body, shedding his boxers on the way. 

Gently Tyler eased him down into the claw foot tub, letting him prop his whole weight against Tyler’s chest so that he wouldn’t fall. He whimpered as his muscles shifted in the hot water, carefully trying to lay back and get comfy. Tyler pressed a gently kiss to Josh’s head, trying really hard to forget how disgustingly hungover he felt. 

There was a knock on Tyler’s bedroom door and the pair froze. Josh’s eyes flew open wide with fear but Tyler rubbed delicate fingertips over his shoulder, bringing a finger to his lips. Josh nodded minutely before Tyler got up, ignoring the way his bones popped and clicked with the effort and headed out the room. He pulled the bathroom door to slightly, before cautiously unlocking his bedroom door and peeking through the gap. 

He relaxed the moment he saw Mark holding a tray of food. He let Mark in before immediately shutting and locking the door behind him. They spoke in hushed tones, afraid someone passing the door might overhear their conversation. 

“I brought breakfast for two but if anyone asks we shared it.” Mark said setting down the tray onto the bed. He lifted the covers on the plates to reveal bacon eggs and toast with some melon sliced to the side of them. The usual breakfast his father’s kitchen staff prepared for the family. One half of him wanted to swallow his own plateful whole but the other half threatened to throw it straight back up if he tried. 

“Thanks but what are you going to eat?” Tyler asked stopping Mark before he could turn and walk out. 

“I’m probably just gonna go by Taco Bell or something.” He shrugged. 

“Oh okay, well, thanks so much for doing that.” Tyler fidgeted nervously, wanting to apologise for yesterday and for ever getting Mark stuck in his mess in the first place but he’d promised Mark he’d get himself back together and that meant no more constantly apologising for things no longer in his control. Mark seemed to read this inner turmoil as well and place his hands on Tyler’s shoulders.   
“Dude, I promised I’d help let me worry about the consequences of my own decision. Now go help Josh do whatever is taking him so long in the bathroom and eat your breakfast before it goes cold. Worrying can be left ‘til your dad is expected home, which isn’t for another four days. You’re in the calm before the storm, revel in it while there’s still time.” He shook Tyler’s shoulders slightly for emphasis before letting him go and unlocking the door. He slid out with a small salute. Tyler locked the door behind him, resting his head against it and taking a deep breath. 

_Get it together._ He told himself before pushing off the door. He glanced at the tray of food quickly, noticing there were three glasses, two of orange juice but one of water, next to it were two Advil’s and a small piece of tissue Mark had attempted to use as paper. He could just make out the writing meant to say ‘for your head’ with a smiley face. He huffed a small laugh to himself before downing the Advil’s with the water. 

When he returned to the bathroom he noticed that Josh was lay still, small breaths easing out of him, eyes shut so his lashes fluttered softly against his high cheekbones. He looked like a painting and Tyler wished he could frame him and put him in a gallery for all to see, but then he realised he was glad the world didn’t get to see this moment, it was precious and perfect and just for him and his heart squeezed so beautifully at the thought. At the dream of having more views like this to come years down the line when they had their own house and a spring in their step, no longer weighed down by the heavy target currently pinned to their backs. Maybe Tyler would give in and get Josh a cat, he’d talked about them a lot during one of their late night conversations, his whole face lighting up as he talked about the stray he’d befriended in middle school and brought home with him. 

Tyler began stripping his clothes off before he carefully stepped into the still hot bath, shuffling Josh forward ever so carefully so he could sit behind him, his legs bracketing Josh’s hips. 

Josh stirred and tried to shift around but Tyler rubbed soothingly at his arms calming him. “Shhh. You need to rest okay.” He said guiding Josh’s head back against his shoulder so he could fall asleep back pressed against Tyler’s chest. Josh let his eyes flutter shut, as Tyler set about massaging shampoo into his hair, taking his time to make sure Josh was clean, he used a washcloth to get all the dirt and crime off of Josh’s skin, kissing along his shoulder and chest relishing to soft gasps it led him to produce. He was sure to make sure he had got rid of all the dried blood from the cuts that littered his once porcelain skin, scrubbing at his nails and behind his ears to make sure he’d really gotten everything. He pushed Josh upright then, letting him slump forward so he could clean up the nasty gashes that sliced over his spine. When he could feel it getting too much for Josh he stopped, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, before tracing and tapping each of his freckles on his shoulders. 

“Count them with me.” He whispered, starting to count each freckle with a gentle tap. Once he got to fifteen or so, he began trying to clean the wounds again, letting Josh count shakily with him continued tapping out freckles on his back with his finger. It made the process even slower, because Tyler had to try to do both things at once but it did the job. 

“243.” Josh said shakily, when Tyler pulled him back down to lie on him again, peppering kisses all up his neck. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Tyler said wet lips against damp skin and Josh shivered. 

Finally Tyler got out the bath, wrapping a towel around his waist before turning back to Josh. He used the shower-head attached to the tap to rinse the shampoo from Josh’s hair laughing softly at the way Josh’s face scrunched up when Tyler took a cloth to clean out his ears of left over soap and to clean the cut above his left eyebrow. “You look like a puppy.” Tyler said chest warm with affection. 

“I feel like a prune.” Josh replied raising his hands which were sufficiently pruned from the now filthy bath water. Tyler wrinkled his nose. Checking Josh’s legs were clean and that he hadn’t forgot to wash any soap off he stood up. 

“Breakfast is probably cold now but let’s get you out.” He smiled and Josh smiled wider at the mention of food, his stomach almost comically choosing to rumble loudly at the mention of breakfast. 

Both laughed as Tyler helped Josh to stand, pulling the plug out as he went. Before he could even step out Tyler wrapped a towel around his shoulders and another over his head, massaging the moisture out of his hair, it covered Josh’s face and when he pushed it away he immediately placed a soft kiss to Josh’s nose, causing him to make a small noise of surprise, blushing. He took the towel from his hair and wrapped it around his waist holding it there as he helped Josh climb out of the bath. Holding onto him for dear life as he escorted him to sit on the bed. Tyler squished next to Josh on the bed, enjoying the feel of their shoulder’s pressed together, like the intimacy of their bath hadn’t nearly satisfied his need for closeness, or Josh’s it seemed as he leaned in closer to him. 

Tyler pulled the tray in close to them and began shuffling things around so Josh could access the food easier. After trying to hide the ache still radiating throughout his whole body, ricocheting off one of his bones and into the next, Tyler finally stopped eating his own food to help. 

“What do you need, tell me?” He said gently, sitting back waiting for Josh to decide on his own terms how much he let Tyler baby himself. 

“Can you- can you just maybe feed it to me?” 

Tyler could see the vulnerability the words forced out of Josh and it only made his chest ache, hangover forgotten, Josh was his priority. He nodded before setting aside his own food and beginning to cut up Josh’s food and guiding it to his mouth. To make Josh laugh he tried putting a whole melon sliced in his mouth which Josh only took half of, panicking and laughing he tried to call out Tyler’s name to get him to stop laughing and help before he dropped it. Eventually he settled on grabbing Tyler by the hips, pulling him close and trying force the melon into his mouth. 

“Stop, you’re such a child, Josh no.” Tyler laughed out, turning his head back and forth and trying to get away from Josh. Josh knew he didn’t really want to move away because his grip was still weak, Tyler had no reason to act trapped and they both knew it. He laughed when Tyler finally gave in biting the half of melon that was hanging between Josh’s lips before kissing him. 

“That was your own fault.” Josh teased as he finally swallowed the food in his mouth, his arm staying around his hip. 

“Maybe.” Tyler said with a playful glare. “Do you want some bacon, baby?” He said in a super sweet tone that had Josh immediately trying to back away, but one of Tyler’s hands was on the back of his neck, gently holding him in place. 

Tyler placed the bacon strip into his mouth, half sticking out as with the melon, before trying to get Josh to take it. They laughed and tried not to spill orange juice all over the bed as Josh squirmed. Kissing slow and deep between trying to force food into each other’s mouths. Josh ended breakfast with scrambled egg all down his chin and Tyler with bacon in his hair and a little bit of orange juice in his eye (from when Josh wouldn’t stop pushing his cup higher and higher, tipping too much juice in his mouth and causing him to half-laugh half-choke making the juice to backfire out of the cup into his face). But it was the happiest either had been in a long time, the outside world was completely forgotten, their universes turning simply for one another. 

“I changed my mind, I don’t love you.” Tyler said with a pout as he dabbed his eye, Josh still giggling at him. 

Josh’s expression sobered briefly and Tyler worried Josh hadn’t understood the sarcasm. But then he was replying. “We both know that’s not true at all, you love me a lot, especially when I call you pet names in bed.” He smirked, and Tyler almost gasped, but he quickly recovered. 

“Are you sure that’s just me who likes that, _kitten_.” Tyler said, leaning in close to his ear, breathing hot and heavy. As he had expected, Josh’s favouritism towards that specific pet name was because he secretly enjoyed being called it himself. He confirmed this when he flushed a beautiful pink, the first real colour his pale skin had taken on that wasn’t the green, purple and blue from his bruises. Josh was silent, frozen for a second and Tyler knew if he didn’t break the moment it would end up in a place the physically, Josh was nowhere near ready for. Thinking on his feet, he quickly brought his tongue out and licked a fat line across Josh’s chin to his cheek, where the eggs were still smeared across his face, laughing heartily at how Josh flinched in shock.

“I hate you.” Josh whined, wiping his face with the spare towel while Tyler didn’t stop laughing, doubled over, tears forming in his eyes. 

“No, you don’t.” He teased, between gasping breaths laughing so much his stomach hurt, probably still gross from his hangover, the food had been trying to combat. 

Josh couldn’t help but begin to laugh too, smiling widely as he watched Tyler fall apart in fits of giggles, his laughter infectious, bubbling out of him like pan boiling over. 

“No I don’t.” Josh confirmed letting Tyler’s laughter infect him, he hadn’t had a reason to be so happy in a while, he’d started to forget what his genuine laugh sounded like, but as always Tyler had reminded him of yet another piece of himself he thought he’d lost a while ago.


	19. xix. told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so terribly sorry for not updating in so long, got a little stuck and then the writing gods sent me an epiphany and now i am out of my block!!! there's now only 3 more chapters left after this one which is exciting and intense. I bring the return of smut with me!! Enjoy!
> 
> also it's tour de columbus real soon and im freaking out and im not even going but i just know the lil fuckers are gonna have something wild to shock us im literally not ready but also i AM ready to die tbh lmao

As the week came to an end, the pressure finally settled over the pair of lovers. They’d spent the week getting Josh back to strength, planning and re-planning and stressing over their next course of action. 

Tyler’s father returned to the mansion in not fourteen hours and Tyler felt sure he was going to pass out with how violently he started shaking whenever he thought about that information for too long. 

“Ty, come here.” Josh said when he noticed Tyler’s breathing was too ragged. Josh slipped his hand out and pulled Tyler across the bed until he was pressed firmly into Josh’s right side. The sun was just rising and casting a dim glow across the room, the perfect amount of light to see everything in the bluey-darkness, comforting. The temperature had dropped as dawn broke and Tyler shivered as Josh’s cool arm slid around him. Cool fingertips ran up and down his side as he took deep breaths. “There’s time, we still have time.” Josh promised quietly, nosing at his cheek before placing light kisses along his jaw. 

Tyler thread his right hand into Josh’s hair to hold him close, but he didn’t stop staring at the ceiling. He’d barely slept and Josh’s concern for him only seemed to make him more stressed, no matter how much he tried to tell himself not to. He needed something to distract him, an anchor to remind him what was real and what was a nightmare cooked up by his head and he knew instantly what he needed. 

Tyler turned his head slowly, guiding Josh’s head so that their lips brushed. Tyler pushed closer, slipping his tongue inside Josh’s mouth. Josh welcomed it easily, kissing back sloppily, still sleepy. 

Tyler shifted onto his side and Josh moved too, so they were pressed chest to chest, both hands threading into Josh’s soft curls. Josh wrapped his own arms more firmly around Tyler’s waist, responding eagerly to the sudden rush of affection. 

“Love you.” Tyler whispered against Josh’s lips, rubbing their noses together before pecking his lips again. He began trailing hot wet kisses down Josh’s jaw and neck, nipping occasionally, knowing it drove Josh wild. Josh moaned softly, nails biting into the skin of Tyler’s hips. 

Tyler moved his hands down Josh’s back to settle under his sleep shorts, cupping his ass and squeezing once roughly. Josh squeezed his eyes shut with a whimper. He tugged on Tyler’s hair so that he could crash their lips together, rolling his hips into Tyler’s. 

“Josh?” Tyler said against his lips desperately between kisses. 

Josh let out a grunt of acknowledgment as he rolled his hips again. Tyler whimpered, “Want you.” He said still kissing his boyfriend needily. 

“All yours.” Josh promised breathily as he rolled on top of Tyler, grinding his hips still. Spurred on by Josh’s consent, Tyler removed his hands from Josh’s shorts in favour of pushing them down. Josh lifted himself up a little to help, not breaking his lips away. 

Once Josh was free of his shorts, he pulled at the hem of Tyler’s shirt and Tyler finally broke away, eagerly pulling his shirt over his head before shimmying out of his pyjama pants. Josh chuckled as he used the time to reach across to the bedside drawer for lube Tyler kept there.

Tyler wrapped his legs around Josh’s waist and began kissing him feverishly as Josh blindly fumbled to slick his fingers. They didn’t break their kiss as Josh began pressing a finger at Tyler’s entrance. 

Tyler gasped against Josh’s mouth as he pushed inside, taking shaky breaths until he adjusted. Trying to focus on the tender brush of Josh’s lips along his collar bone. Soon the pain subsided to pleasure and one finger had become three in a short space of time. Josh worked his fingertips over the sensitive bundle of nerves inside Tyler rhythmically. Tyler grabbed at his biceps, nails scratching as he desperately teetered on the edge. Before he could topple however Josh was removing his fingers and replacing them with his, now slicked up and rock hard, dick instead. 

Tyler moaned again, nails digging harder into Josh’s shoulders. Josh started slow, Tyler grinding his hips in lazy circles as he rocked up to meet each of Josh’s thrusts. They were back to being lost in nothing but the feel of one another’s skin, breathing only each other’s recycled air as their lips refused to part fully. Tyler’s head was cloudy with arousal and only able to focus on the slow thrusts of Josh inside him, the feeling of fullness making him feel warm and safe and loved in a way that caused his whole body to tingle fuzzily. He kissed all over Josh’s face, causing him to chuckle and scrunch up his nose. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Tyler whispered breathlessly, like it was a secret. The rest of the world hadn’t realised it yet and when they saw it, everyone would want a piece of him. But Tyler was selfish, he couldn’t share him, he was all for him, every blush and freckle in a spot not even Josh could see that was Tyler’s only, and he was going to keep it that way, keep him, forever. 

Josh’s stomach began to coil tightly and his thrusts became deeper and faster subconsciously. Tyler threw his head back, the sight causing Josh’s heart to stutter. Tyler continued to push his hips up, trapping his own leaking erection between their hot skin and letting the friction push him to his end with desperate whimpers. 

“You’re so pretty like this, always want to see you like this.” Josh grunted as his hips began to slam relentlessly into Tyler’s thighs, bruising just how Tyler loved it. 

“All yours.” Tyler promised, echoing Josh’s words from earlier. He pulled Josh as close as possible by his hair, kissing him hotly. 

Their bodies rocked together unforgivingly. Tyler wiped a few sweaty curls off Josh’s forehead, it broke Josh’s intense concentration into a look of pure adoration for a second as they made eye contact and that was enough for Josh’s hips to stutter, spilling inside of Tyler. Tyler had to cover his mouth as he cried out coming hard, back arching. 

Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh tightly as he practically collapsed on top of him. Josh chuckled as he tried to come down from his high. He was hot and sticky and gross but he was too exhausted to move yet. Tyler held onto Josh, clingy now that he could finally feel sleep was achievable. Josh had once again provided him with a safe place to land and he would never be able to fully make Josh understand how much that meant to him. Instead he settled on kissing him slow and sweet, trying to convey every inch of love he felt and from the dopey smile on Josh’s face he seemed to understand. 

“I need to pull out.” Josh said after another silence, laughing when Tyler shook his head and buried his face into Josh’s neck. Josh chuckled again, shifting to press a kiss into Tyler’s nose. Tyler whined but let his arms flop onto the bed releasing Josh. 

He let his eyes follow Josh as he got up and headed to the bathroom. He was still a bit stiff and the extensive exercise he’d just done won’t have done his body any good, still healing. Josh was looking healthier at least, his bones no longer so prominent, and most of his bruises were faded so Tyler allowed himself to relish the little dimples on Josh’s ass as he walked away. He smiled to himself with a dreamy sigh. 

Josh returned with a wet cloth, wiping his stomach. He stopped when he looked up at Tyler watching him fondly. 

“You sleepy?” Josh said mirroring his affectionate expression as he continued walking over to him. He careful began cleaning Tyler up, only getting distracted every five seconds by Tyler pulling him down for a kiss. 

After Tyler’s third yawn, Josh quickly finished up wiping him down and tossed the towel onto the floor climbing back into the bed. Tyler immediately rolled over to cling to his side. Huffing out a breath and starting to fall asleep with his head buried in Josh’s neck. 

When Tyler woke up, he realised he’d slept for four hours. He stretched, his hands finding the spot beside him in the best empty, he panicked before the familiar static of the shower being used eased his worries. 

He pulled himself out of bed, wincing at the shot of pain it sent up his spine before almost staggering into the bathroom. He walked straight up to the shower door before pulling it open and stepping in. Josh smiled at him as he rinsed shampoo from his hair. 

Tyler reached around him and began lathering up his own hair. Revelling in how natural and domestic the scene felt. Josh careful picked Tyler up by the waist in order to turn them 180degrees so that Tyler was under the spray, pinching his hips playfully as Tyler tried not to get soap in his eyes as he flinched. 

Instead of retaliating Tyler simply pulled Josh in for a hug, letting the hot water beat down on his shoulders and relax his muscles. He hummed when Josh began massaging the base of his spine, turning to drag his lips over the wet skin of Josh’s neck. 

“Goodmorning.” Tyler mumbled into Josh’s shoulder with a faint smile. Trying to seal himself in this moment of bliss, while he was still too sleepy to acknowledge that he was four hours closer to his father’s immanent return. 

“Mornin’, Ty.” Josh smiled, kissing Tyler’s forehead before reaching for the body wash. He was about to pour some into his hand when Tyler stopped him, grabbing the bottle and beginning cleaning Josh. Josh gave him a confused look. 

“My turn to look after you.” Tyler mumbled with a kiss to Josh’s nose as he cleaned them both. 

Once they were clean and finished in the shower, the two lay on the bed in just towels, face to face. Too lazy to get dressed just yet and desperate to bask in the bliss of just being alone together for as long as possible. They spoke softly as Josh played with their latched fingers. The warm sun reflected off the white bed sheets and surrounded the pair in a soft glow. 

"Do you think there's a world out there where we made it?" Josh said quietly, his eyes sparkling with hope, but his expression sombre.

"We'll make it in this one." Tyler promised, shifting closer to stroke Josh’s cheek with the pads of his thumb. He had to believe they could make it, losing Josh just wasn’t an option anymore. 

"Yeah, but i mean,” Josh leant into Tyler’s touch, holding his hand there. “There's gotta be a world out there where we aren't trapped like this, where we don't live in fear."

"I think I’d always find something to fear, even if it was only myself." Tyler sighed, a sad smile on his lips. 

"Maybe..." Josh sniffed. He let go of Tyler’s hand in favour of tucking the pillow under his cheek some more so he could properly look at his boyfriend. "Maybe there's a world where you married Jenna." His eyes flickered over Tyler’s face for a second before looking just past his cheek, nervous to mention her even more nervous for Tyler’s reaction. 

"Maybe,” Tyler replied hesitantly, a bittersweet smile ghosting his lips for just a second that Josh didn’t catch. “But you'd still be there.” He promised as he shuffled closer to the other man. His hand moving to play with the damp baby curls at the nape of Josh’s neck. 

"Really?" Josh’s eyes met his, a sparkle in them again. 

"Definitely.” Tyler nodded. “There's no way you're not meant to be in my life, I can’t imagine a life without you in it anymore.” Tyler blushed, not usually one for just admitting his feelings so boldly. But this was Josh and he was different, he was everything. “Even if we're not a couple in every world, you'd always be my best friend, I know it. I can feel it." 

Josh closed the small gap, leaning forward to press his lips to Tyler’s sweetly. "You're my best friend too." He said as he pulled away, biting his lip to keep from smiling too widely. 

"What happened to us.” Tyler laughed softly between pressing kisses to Josh’s lips. “We've gone soft." Josh laughed against his mouth. 

Their moment was interrupted by Tyler’s phone going off. Reluctantly he turned around to grab it from his bedside table. He read the message before sitting up. 

“What is it?” Josh furrowed his brow. 

“Time to get to work.” Tyler sighed as he typed out a reply. He got up and began dressing, smirking when he saw Josh smirking as he checked out the bruises on his thighs. Once he was ready he pressed a lingering kiss to Josh’s forehead. 

“Bring home the bacon, honey.” Josh smiled and Tyler raised an eyebrow. “Just practicing for when this is all over.” He smiled cheekily and Tyler rolled his eyes playfully, huffing out a laugh and pecking his lips one last time before leaving. 

When Tyler’s father finally returned home from his trip, it was later than he expected. His mother found Tyler and his siblings first, breezing into the room with a tan and an extensive collection of shopping bags. She began passing out expensive soaps and hair gels and ties and designer dress shoes, giving Maddy a huge bag full of make-up and jewellery which she squealed over. Tyler rolled his eyes when his mother handed him shoes that weren’t his size, they’d fit Josh though so he didn’t say anything, excepting them with a forced smile. He smirked at the thought of his mother being horrified at the sight of Josh in the shoes she’d tried to buy Tyler’s love with, it gave him a slight sick joy if he was honest. 

“Your father has a guest; he wants you in his office.” She smiled and Tyler felt his heart drop. Her overly pleased-with-herself attitude suddenly made more sense, worry shot through his chest as he nodded. He put down 8all his mother’s gifts and headed towards his father’s office. 

He barely had time to compose himself as the door flew open immediately after he knocked. His father seemed impatient but there was an out-of-character smile stitched onto his face.

“Ah, son, come in.” He was acting too nice, and Tyler understood why when he saw two people sat on the couch as he entered. A gentleman stood up to shake his hand and Tyler pretended to be more confident than he was, clasping it firmly. His suit looked expensive as did his watch, he looked important just from the way he carried himself and Tyler was easily intimidated. 

“This is Senator Morgan and his daughter Clarissa.” His father gestured to the girl standing beside the man. Tyler nodded and shook her hand, more carefully. “I think it’s important you two meet before the wedding next week.” Tyler almost froze before he forced himself to stand up straight, nodding. 

“Lovely to meet you.” He smiled warmly at her. She blushed and tucked a lose brown curl behind her ear. Tyler had to admit she was pretty. Her eyes were a bright blue, but not as piercing as Jenna’s. He brown curls not as soft or dishevelled as Josh’s. She was pretty but she wasn’t them. 

If Tyler had been the son his father wanted maybe she would’ve made him happy, but as it stood his happiness was currently probably doing press ups by his bed. 

Tyler somehow was ushered to sit beside Clarissa, while their fathers discussed business and weddings, not just Maddy’s but Tyler’s now too. He smiled at the young girl who seemed awkward and nervous. She had no idea what she was in for. 

Tyler carefully took her fidgeting hands into his. “It’ll be okay.” He assured her, but he wasn’t sure if he even believed himself. She smiled gratefully at him and allowed him to make small talk for the remaining of their father’s meeting. She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before she left, which made Tyler’s father smile proudly. 

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” His father said, clapping him on the shoulder once they were alone. 

Tyler nodded, lying to his father in order to keep him sated. 

“Your mother is so pleased about this marriage, Tyler. You’re on your way to being the man I always knew you could become.” His father said proudly, and Tyler felt sick. 

“Now, what did you do about our prisoners. I trust that you did as I asked?” Tyler’s father sat behind his desk, propping his feet up on the table, with a devious look. 

Tyler nodded. “The youngest is dead and the eldest is disappeared. When we finally tell Dun we no longer have his son he’ll spend years looking for him, he’ll never cross us again, not when we’re the only people who know where his son is.” Tyler smirked, playing up to the persona he knew his father expected.   
Mr. Joseph grinned evilly, letting out a laugh. “Genius.” He said rubbing his hands together. “Oh, that is good, well done, Tyler.” His father shook his hand and Tyler realised this was what acceptance felt like, this situation should’ve been years ago when he’d asked to marry Jenna, not now, not for this. He felt sick with disgust, as he looked into the eyes of the man who had killed Jenna, the man who was praising him for supposedly taking away another man’s only sons. 

“You kept the location to yourself I hope.” The older man added and Tyler almost rolled his eyes, of course he doubted Tyler, of course nothing he did was ever enough. 

“Of course Sir.” Tyler promised, biting back the itch to tell him: _he’s in my bedroom right now_. 

‘I’ve never been prouder. Looks like I raised you just right.” Tyler wanted to slap him, to yell that he never raised him at all, and even so he would never be like him, he’d rather die. 

He was relieved when his father dismissed him, allowing him to hastily walk out of the room. He felt sure he would have nightmares about the cheek splitting grin on his father’s face, like the Cheshire cat that got the cream. 

The gears were well and truly in motion now; the train was hurtling down the track and he just had to make sure nothing de-railed it before his sister’s wedding. A harder task than he really felt equipped for, but he had too much to lose if he failed. He was stuck, well and truly along for the ride, even if he couldn’t.


	20. xx. 'cause imma ride or die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's ride or die time my dudes

Tyler fixed his tie in the mirror, fiddling with his collar as he smoothed out his crisp white shirt. He sighed as he shrugged on a grey waistcoat. He turned his attention to where Josh was leaving the bathroom, trying to tuck in his own shirt into his pants. 

Tyler bit his lip as he took in the way Josh’s upper lip curled as he tried to do up the top button of his shirt. Unable to resist, Tyler crossed the room and helped him tighten his tie. 

He kissed Josh softly for a second relishing in it.

When they pulled apart, Tyler took a deep breath. 

“Ride or die?” Josh asked and Tyler nodded. 

“Ride or die.” He confirmed. 

There was a sharp knock on the door and both men tensed. Josh quickly ducked into the bathroom hiding as Tyler cautiously unlocked his door. He relaxed when Mark rushed into the room and locked the door behind him. 

“I got the stuff.” Mark whispered, adjusting his gun holster under his suit jacket. 

Josh slowly eased out of the bathroom to continue getting ready. Mark handed him an envelope, which he was quick to stuff into his blazer. He then began loading his gun. 

Mark helped Tyler to secure his shoulder holster. Tyler took a deep breath. 

“It’s time.” Mark said as he checked his watch. 

Tyler threw on his blazer and turned to look at Josh. Mark stepped out of the room to give them some privacy. 

Josh pulled Tyler in by his cheeks, kissing him desperately. 

When they pulled apart they kept their forehead pressed together. 

“Whatever happens; you’re the love of my life.” Josh said. 

“And you’re mine. Remember that.” Tyler promised, not wanting the moment to end. Terrified to let go of Josh’s hands on his face, he couldn’t survive never feeling Josh’s skin against his again. 

Reluctantly Josh stepped away, to let Tyler leave. Tyler kissed him again, letting his lips linger before turning and slipping out of the room.

Mark clapped Tyler on the shoulder and the pair walked down to the back yard. They were stopped by Tyler’s mother, who was fretting with the giant hat on her head. 

“Tyler have you seen your father?” She asked flustered. 

“No sorry.” Tyler shrugged. 

“Okay, well can you both hurry up, the guests are already sat.” She ushered both boys out and Tyler rolled his eyes but headed out to where a makeshift altar had been set up. A priest stood underneath a white canopy, big white sheets draped down to make a ceiling for the altar and trailed out to line the aisle. There were red tipped white roses lining the aisle, as everyone sat in their finery either side. Tyler and Mark were quick to stand beside Zack and the groom and his best man. 

“You’re late.” Zack whispered but Tyler scoffed and straightened his tie. 

“Nah, plenty of time.” He replied, before soft harp music started playing. The backdoors to the house opened wide and everyone turned to watch in awe as bridesmaids prepared to walk down the aisle. 

His eyes flicked back to where the bridesmaids were walking down the aisle, once all of them were lined up by the altar all attention turned to the back door once again to where his sister was standing in her wedding dress. Tyler held his breath, she looked like a princess, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with emotion at how grown up his baby sister had become without him realising, she’d always been a little kid who asked him to braid her hair to him. He felt a pang of guilt that he had chosen her big day to potentially tear the family apart. 

Tyler’s attention was caught by his father who was escorting her, his heart beat picking up as they made eye contact. Tyler swallowed hard and chose to focus on how his sister was smiling and glowing. 

The ceremony didn’t leave a dry eye in the house, the vows promising only love and protection and Tyler felt a small swell of pride for the couple. 

When it came time for the reception however, Tyler was antsy. He fumbled with his cutlery during the meal more than once, and Mark had to monitor his champagne intake after he downed two glasses straight. 

The sound of a fork tapping a glass called silence across the room. Everyone’s gazes flittered over to where Mr. Joseph stood proudly, before clearing his throat. 

“I would like to start by thanking you all for coming.” He began voice authoritative and commanding as always. He briefly nodded at the Senator who sat with his daughter at a nearby table. “It’s a proud and tough day to hand one’s daughter over to someone else, but I have no doubt that William will protect her with his life.” The hard stare he gave Will told anyone that he was prepared to kill him if he misplaced so much as a hair on Maddy’s head. “I always knew he was right for this family, he shares those perfect family values we strive for. He knows that family comes first, I think we all could say we’d die for our family, because at the end of the day who are we without them.” He held eye contact with Tyler the whole time before breaking it to laugh heartily, making everyone else laugh somewhat nervously. “I know that William will put my baby girl before himself, and that’s all I can ask. She has always been such a beautiful and well-behaved child and it’s grown her into the strong dedicated woman she is today. So, a toast to my princess daughter and the only prince I’d allow to replace me as her hero.” He laughed again and everyone raised their glasses in cheers. Maddy sniffled and hugged her father as he sat down. 

As everyone applauded, Tyler couldn’t help but feel sick. A lead weight settling on his chest as he looked over at Mark. He was distracted however by the best man standing up to make his speech next. 

When all the speeches were finished, most people decided to get up to converse and dance.

“Shall we dance?” Clarissa’s soft voice was in his ear and he only just managed to avoid jumping a mile in the air. 

He nodded trying to keep his cover, letting her lead him over to the dancefloor. Just then a slow song came on, and he cautiously placed a hand on her waist. It was stiff and awkward and Tyler shied away when someone poked a camera in his face. He looked around himself as the song came to a finish realising he couldn’t see his father anywhere. 

He leant over to where Mark was dancing close to him, both men trying to dance without drawing attention to themselves. 

“Where is he?” Tyler said through gritted teeth. 

“He’s gone.” Mark replied, faking a laugh and then spinning the girl he was dancing with around. 

The best friends shared a knowing look before Tyler was pulling Clarissa closer. “Let’s go somewhere.” He tried to flirt, speaking low in her ear. She blushed and nodded. Tyler lead her through the dancefloor and inside the house, finding one of the drawing rooms that was empty. 

He went over to a glass drinks cabinet, pulling out some crystal glasses and a bottle of expensive white wine. 

Clarissa clapped and cheered as he popped open the bottle dramatically, before lying back on the couch wistfully. She sighed happily, her cheeks already a rose pink that told Tyler she was probably giddy on free champagne. Tyler looked at the way her hair cascaded off the sofa and her beautiful dress wrapped around her now bare feet, her designer shoes kicked off. She was beautiful, a painting of that life that Tyler once told himself he’d wanted. She was another life, with the wrong kids and hands stained with blood. With a sigh Tyler tightened his jaw and handed over a glass to her. 

She sat up slowly before taking it and Tyler sat beside her. 

“You’re a lot more handsome than my father implied.” She said softly, sipping her drink. 

Tyler smirked. “Well that’s always nice to hear.”

“Sorry you’re going to be forced to marry me.” She frowned and Tyler shifted closer. 

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” He shrugged and she sipped more of her drink and frowned. “You’re beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you.” He smiled, leaning closer. 

He cupped her cheek and tilted his face closer to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut and just as their lips were about to touch, Tyler whispered “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t say anything only slumping further into his grip, her body slowly getting heavier with the absence of consciousness. Tyler lay her back onto the couch carefully. Taking the now empty glass from her hand before it fell to the floor. 

Tyler looked at her sadly, brushing a hair off her face. He apologised again, feeling guilty that he’d tricked her but also that he couldn’t love her the way she needed. But he loved Josh, and it scared him more than he could say, he’d thought Jenna had been his only, that nothing could ever heal that wound but Josh had proven him wrong, the bastard. He apologised one more time to the passed out girl before getting up and slipping out of the room, he needed to find Josh.


	21. xxi. whether you fail or fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's only one chapter left after this :(

Josh waits until the allotted time clicks onto his watch face, his whole body is radiating with nerves. He took a deep breath, clicking the safety off his gun and poising it in his hand ready for use if necessary. 

He opened the bedroom door slowly, peeking out carefully. When he assessed the hallway was clear he took a shaky step out of the room for the first time in weeks. He worried he wouldn’t hear anyone coming over the pounding of his heart in his ears. 

He recapped the route Tyler had laid out for him one more time, having spent the past few hours memorising the map Mark had given him. He aired on the side of caution as he went down the hall and towards the stairs. Josh hung back as he heard footsteps up the staircase, he checked his watch quickly seeing it was in time with Tyler’s instructions. As one of Mr. Joseph’s goons came into view Josh was quick to bring the end of his gun down onto the guys’ head knocking him out instantly. Josh stared wide eyed at the guy, a little shocked it worked. He huffs to himself as he drags the guys body so it’s up against the wall and harder to spot before quickly sneaking down the stairs and towards the right corridor. 

He makes it all the way to the steps into the basement level before he hears two guys talking to one another in low voices. He peaks through the doorway to see one of them is walking into a room and shutting the door while the other is walking straight towards him. 

Barely having time to think he tucks his gun away and presses himself against the wall so he’s covered by the door as it opens. The guy doesn’t even spot him as he pushes the door shut behind him and Josh is quick to jump him, successfully squeezing his arms around the guy’s neck until he passes out with minimal struggle thanks to the element of surprise. 

Josh wipes sweat from his brow as he drags the guy back through the hallway, and to the room he wants. He panics when he can’t find the key in his pocket but his fingers finally latch onto the small piece of metal and he jams it into the door with shaky fingers, aware that the other guy could come out and see him any second. As soon as the door is open he shoves the unconscious man into the corner of the room, pulling a tie out of his pocket that he stole from Tyler’s drawers and using it to bind the guys’ arms. 

Josh ran a shaky hand through his hair before making sure the door is shut and turning to the computer in the corner of the room and powering it up. While he’s waiting his eyes naturally gravitate towards the huge and obvious bloodstains along the wall, shuddering as he remembered what Tyler had told him about. 

The computer beeps expectantly and Josh is quick to pull the piece of paper and memory stick that Mark gave him out of his pocket. He types in the password as scribbled on the paper and instantly shoves the memory stick into the correct slot. His heart beating a mile a minute. 

He instantly goes to the files as per Mark’s instructions and finds the necessary information, lists of contacts and clients and deals that Mark had managed to move around when no one was looking. There’s still some other stuff Mark wasn’t able to locate in time and Josh is quick to search for it.   
When he hears shuffling outside the door he freezes, holding his breath and praying the person doesn’t notice the light is on in the room. He sighs with relief as the footsteps continued further down the corridor. 

He’s quick about finding the names of the files as Mark instructed and copying them onto the memory stick. The computer is slow to copy them and Josh almost tears his hair out while waiting for it. He takes the time to browse for more files, one is titled as something ominous and he clicks on it. His eyes widening as he opens it, his palms sweat and his heart pounds. Gulping he copies the file onto the memory stick before deleting the original. 

The second everything is copied he ejects the memory stick and powers off the computer. With a glance to the passed out guy in the corner he’s flicking off the lights and cautiously opens the door once he’s sure he can’t hear anyone outside it. 

He leaves the door unlocked and the key inside it as instructed and is quick to dart out of the corridor and back up the stairs. 

He hears people giggling and running along the halls and he hangs back before they can see him. Someone shouts in the distance for them to get back to the reception in the garden and it prompts Josh to check his watch. 

If they timed it correctly, he has only twenty minutes to get to the garage and to Tyler’s car before Tyler will be there to meet him. He’s on the home stretch now, he knows he just has to go down two more corridors without being noticed and he can get out of here. 

He makes it by some miracle to the garage, his shaking hand touching Tyler’s black Mercedes driving home the relief that’s washing over him. The memory stick burns a hole into his pocket. 

He checks his watch again and sees he has a few more minutes. He’s startled from his thoughts by the garage door slowly beginning to open. He smiles to himself expecting Tyler to be behind him and he feels ice consume his whole body when he hears taunting slow claps echo through the garage. 

His smile drops as he turns around to see the cold, dark eyes of Chris Joseph staring at him. Before he can think to grab his gun from where he stashed it, the older man has one pulled on him. 

“You have some nerve kid.” He spits and Josh holds his hands up. “Crashing my daughter’s wedding, you Duns really are despicable.” 

Josh clenches his teeth, desperately trying not to bite back that he’s worse no matter how much he wants to. 

“Give it to me.” He snaps and Josh looks at him confused. Mr. Joseph ‘tsk’s at him and gestures with his gun up and down the length of him. “I know you’ve stolen something from me, so I’m giving you chance to return it in exchange for me not killing you instantly.”

Josh gulps but makes no move to retrieve the memory stick, despite how it suddenly feels like it weighs ten tonnes in his pocket. 

“Hand over your weapons too.” The older man says obviously getting impatient. 

Desperate to keep the man holding off on his execution until Tyler can save him Josh obliges him, pulling his gun and sliding it across the concrete floor towards him. 

“Now give me whatever you took.” He repeats angrily and Josh flinches as he shouts more than expecting him to pull the trigger. 

He takes a jagged breath and with shaky hands fumbles for the memory stick, wanting to beat himself up for ever thinking he could actually get away with this, that he could make it out of this life. 

“Toss it.” The older man says, catching it one-handed easily once Josh sighs defeated and throws it to him. 

Josh realises then that he rolled over like a dog, but he’s too scared to speak, he knows everything the man in front of him is, the things he would subject his own child to, and then try to force that same son to inflict on him and his family. He knows far too well that he will be dead in the next five minutes and it almost makes him bold. 

He speaks for the first time. “Are you going to kill me now?”

The booming laugh he gets back makes his skin crawl. The click of the safety going off the gun making his heart give out. 

“By the time I’m done with you, you’d _wish_ I’d just have killed you.” He smirks and Josh almost sobs from the fear that’s settled in his chest. 

“Then you should know,” His voice is shaking too but he pushes himself to speak, to say what he wants to, to this man. “That your son calls _me_ daddy while he begs me to fuck him.” 

The sheer horror and anger on the man’s face is enough to make Josh smirk prideful, feeling pretty chuffed with himself for a brief second before he’s waiting for the gun to go off and his life to end. 

“You piece of shit.” He hears and he expects the gun shot to be next, he braces for it, legs like jell-o. 

But then something is wrapping around his front, gripping him with force and Josh opens his eyes to see Tyler shielding his body. 

“Don’t do it.” Tyler pleads and his father watches him incredulously. “I won’t let you kill him, not without killing me too.” He says and Josh’s heart won’t stop trying to fling itself out of his chest towards Tyler. He almost cries into his shoulder because he’s so in love with this man and the thought that he almost died without ever hearing his voice again let alone getting to hold him makes him feel something he can’t even put into words. 

“You think I didn’t know you were sleeping with him?” Mr. Joseph cackles, and Tyler tenses around Josh, his eyes wide. “Oh, you really are a disappointment Tyler, as if I wouldn’t figure out what you were doing. You brought him into my home and didn’t expect me to know.” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “I know everything son.” He says menacingly, still pointing his gun firmly at both boys. 

Dread fills both boys, even more so with Tyler but he lets his rage overflow to mask it, the rage he’s been holding in for years, the rage he’s developed lately after his discovery. 

“Yeah, well I know some shit too.” Tyler snaps back and his father looks angry again but Tyler refuses to submit like a dog anymore. 

“Just move out of the way Tyler, he’s a Dun he’s not worth any of this. You’ve had your rebellion don’t be stupid.” 

“No!” Tyler shouts back panting hard. “I swear to God; you’ve already killed the _only_ woman I’ve ever loved and _for what?!_ To get me to marry someone of your choosing? I _will not_ let you kill him, he’s worth hundreds of you, and I _will not_ move.”

His father huffed and straightened his posture. “Listen I’m sorry about Jemma or whatever, but I was saving you from a huge mistake, she’d never have worked out. You have a duty-”

“Fuck duty! You had a duty as my father to want me to be happy, to support me!” Tyler interrupted back and Josh watched in awe of him squeezing his hands on his waist supportively. 

“What is _this_?” Tyler’s father said, eyes squinting as he noticed the gesture. His face red with anger. “Did he brainwash you into thinking he loved you is that it? Do you think he’s going to save you from me and you’ll ride off into the sunset? Christ, you can’t be my son if you’re really that fucking stupid.” His father scoffed and Josh felt anger boil in his veins. 

“Fuck you!” He barked and even Tyler was startled by the intensity. “I love him, unlike you I would never hurt him, I’m the one who had to put him back together after all the years of agony you put him through. I’m not like you I don’t have to lie and trick someone into loving me to get them to respect me.” Josh spat and Tyler squeezed him closer, a silent indication that he wanted him to know how much his words meant to him. 

“He’s staring down the barrel of a gun; he’ll say anything to save his ass.” Mr. Joseph scoffed, looking at his son with disgust. 

“I don’t care.” Tyler replies fed up. “I’ll never listen to another word you have to say. I _love_ him and if he wants to kill me I’ll let him and if you want to kill me to get to him I’ll let you do that too because I will _never_ be your son, I would _die_ rather than become _anything_ like you.”

The words hang in the air for a while, until Mr. Joseph is letting out a long breath.

“Well, I’ve shown you before _Tyler_ , what happens to people who disappoint me, so you really give me no choice.” He sighed, but there was no remorse in his voice and it made something in Josh’s chest turn cold, Tyler’s last slither of hope crushed. 

Both boys held their breath, Tyler pulled Josh into his back, closing his eyes and wanting his last memories to be the feel of him in his arms, his breath across his cheek and Josh clung to him with much the same mind set. 

A gun shot rang out across the garage.


	22. xxii. well, shit, at least you tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// guns, gun violence, violence, blood, wounds, cauterising of a wound at one point :/, lots of death and blood and just idk this is kinda bloody and violent but theres no gore or anything cos im not that kinda person.

Tyler physically gasps, his eyes shooting open as he watched his father drop to the floor, revealing Mark stood behind him, arms shaking and eyes wild. 

Before Tyler can even let Josh go or anyone can react beyond shock, Chris Joseph turns around and pulls the trigger, shooting Mark in the chest. 

Tyler runs, before he can stop himself, running straight to where his father is still looking at Mark, who’s dropped to his knees, and kicks him in the face. The gun flies from his father’s hands at the same time something in his nose cracks. 

Tyler spots the memory stick just out of his reach, having fallen from his father’s pocket as he fell and snatches it up before Tyler’s scrabbling across the floor to his best friend’s side.   
“Mark no, no, no, no. You idiot what did you do that for!” Tyler says, trying to apply pressure to the seeping chest wound. Mark is shaking, hands covered in blood as he collapses further into Tyler’s grasp. 

“I told you I was in this to the end, couldn’t-” he grunts with pain, throat tightening as he loses far too much blood. “Couldn’t let you die now.” 

“Just hold on okay, stay with me?” Tyler pleads his eyes filling with tears. He’s pressing down as hard as he can on the wound but Mark has already lost colour in his face. 

“G-go, save y-yourself _please_.” Mark says nodding weakly as Tyler shakes his head and tries not to cry. He’s clinging to him so tightly. 

Josh watches the scene, frozen and unable to think of what to do. He picks up the gun that’s found its way to his feet but he can’t stop shaking. 

He hears a click and looks up from his hands to find Chris Joseph holding another gun at him. Before he can even process what’s happening, there’s another gunshot and Chris Joseph is dead, bleeding out onto the floor, a bullet lodged between his eyes. 

Tyler makes some kind of strangled noise and suddenly Josh is back in the world looking up to see his father and brother watching Tyler beg Mark to stay alive. 

“We left it half an hour like you instructed but it was a good job we came.” His father says, gently taking the gun from Josh’s shaking hands as his brother claps him on the shoulder. 

“Mark come on buddy.” Tyler begs again and Mark blinks at him, drowsy and barely hanging on, already slipping away.

“Tyler we have to go.” Josh finally says but his voice breaks and Tyler shakes his head, screaming that he’s not leaving without Mark. Rocking Mark’s semi-conscious body back and forth as he cries. 

Before anyone can bargain with Tyler a group of bodyguards are swarming in through the garage door, followed by the Senator. Everyone gapes and puts their guns out except for Tyler who wraps himself protectively around Mark. 

Senator Morgan slowly steps into the garage. He eyes the dead man on the floor before looking at the dying one. He huffs, as though this is a minor inconvenience rather than a heinous crime scene. 

“Well, this just won’t do. Chris was my business partner, but he warned me you’d already know that.” The senator says, sounding almost bored. 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you leave, I can’t have anyone leaking my private doings, that just wouldn’t look good to congress now, would it?” He says and suddenly his body guards have Tyler in their grasp, yanking him off Mark. He kicks and screams desperately because without him putting pressure on the wound Mark is definitely going to bleed out. 

Josh surges forward but not before shouting “Run!” at his father and brother. He manages to use the training his father gave him to fight off three of the body guards, who fall to the floor. 

His father and brother escape through the garage door, and half of the bodyguards go after them. Josh takes out the rest pretty quickly before pulling a gun on the Senator. 

The two holding Tyler freeze and he uses their distraction to head-butt the one and kick the other in his nuts, causing both of them to drop to the floor. 

Tyler pulls his gun out on the Senator too. He glances down at his best friend who’s unconscious. 

“I’m so sorry, Mark.” He says softly, heart breaking before he’s backing towards his car, fishing the keys out of his pocket and unlocking it. 

The senator scowls at them as some of his bodyguards begin getting up off the floor and firing at them. Josh and Tyler move quickly then, scrambling into the car and Tyler speeds out of the drive way, ignoring the gunshots that break the back window. 

“I’m sorry about Mark.” Josh says as they’re speeding out of the grounds, wing mirrors almost clipping the gate that was still opening. 

“They’re following us.” Tyler says, straight faced and Josh knows this isn’t the time to worry that he’s about to shut down because they’re now involved in a literal car chase. 

“You can’t outrun them forever Tyler.” Josh says and Tyler nods before taking a harsh left and slamming Josh into the side of the car. 

The shooting pain that comes from Josh’s leg startles him and it’s then that Josh realises he’s bleeding. His shaking hands coming away wet with blood. 

“What is it?” Tyler asks and Josh shakes his head. 

“It-it’s nothing.” He dismisses and Tyler frowns before checking his rear-view mirror and seeing they’re still being followed by the senator. 

He takes another sharp left that almost throws Josh out of his seat, and while Tyler is concentrating on navigating traffic Josh stuffs his tie into his mouth to muffle his cries and he fishes the bullet out of his leg. 

“We’re gonna have to confront them.” Tyler says and Josh looks at him wide eyed. “Well, I am, you’re gonna drive away without me.” Tyler says and Josh smacks his arm. 

“Shut up, I am not going anywhere without you.” He snaps and Tyler scrubs a hand down his face, speeding the car up when he sees how close the car behind has gotten. 

“Goddammit Josh I can’t lose you, you have to save yourself.”

“We said ‘ride or die’ well this is quite literally that so I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere.” Josh replies through gritted teeth as Tyler takes some more sharp turns and then he’s practically flying over a speed bump as he enters the abandoned parking lot that he met Josh in the night he ran away. That he burnt Josh’s clothes in and Mark promised to help him however he could. Tyler’s chest clenched tightly as he swung the car around to face the two sleek black cars following them, screeching to a stop. 

He just had time to look at Josh, acknowledging that he’s not going to leave before he’s saying.   
“I love you.” 

“I love you.” Josh says back instantly before they’re both stepping out of the car. 

In the time it took to shut off the engine and say that all of the senator’s men have them surrounded, guns out. 

The senator steps out looking pretty pissed off. 

“Just give it up boys for Christ’s sake!” He spits and both Tyler and Josh let themselves be grabbed by the men. 

Tyler counts four men surrounding the senator plus the four holding him and Josh. It’s not many even though they’re armed but one look from Josh tells him that they can take them. So Tyler instructs him to wait with another pointed look. 

“Even if we did know anything, who would believe us?” Tyler asks and the senator rolls his eyes. 

“No use bargaining I know you have proof so what is it hm? An email? A hard drive, what?” The guys holding them tighten as two guys frisk their pockets, one of them comes away with a memory stick from Josh’s pocket. 

“Kids these days.” The senator scoffs before making a point of taking the memory stick and crushing it under his shoe. 

“Y-you got what you wanted now let us go.” Josh grunts and struggles against the hold on him. 

“Oh no, I can’t possibly keep you alive Mr. Dun, you know far too much.” He says, letting one of his guys step up to kill put a gun to Josh’s head. 

“Wait!” Tyler pleaded and the gunman halted. Tyler swallowed hard at all the eyes on him. “I-I’ll give you what you want, I’ll take over my father’s role and keep his end of the deal, I’ll m-marry your daughter like you wanted please, anything j-just don’t kill him please.” Tyler can’t stop the tear that rolls down his cheek. Josh shakes his head at him, a desperate plea for him not to make that deal, because that would almost be worse than dying for Josh, watching him marry someone else and pretend to be just like his father. 

The senator says nothing for a moment before he’s laughing, laughing so hard he’s doubled over almost crying and Tyler’s heart is pounding in his ears as he watches on confused. 

It takes several long minutes for him to compose himself enough to stand up and respond to Tyler. But when he does his face is deathly serious. “You’re already going to do all of that my boy, because I _own_ you.” 

Tyler can’t help the almost whimper that he makes at the words, another tear escaping down his cheek. Josh struggles again and one of the men hits him in the stomach causing him to double over. Tyler flinches and pleads again but the senator shakes his head. 

“Will you ever shut up?” He spits before nodding at the guy with the gun pointed at Josh’s head and right when he’s about to pull the trigger a cellphone goes off interrupting yet again. 

Tyler almost pukes with the relief as the gun is lowered from Josh’s head while the Senator almost embarrassedly answers the call. 

“What?! N-no this can’t be. This is- Oh no.” The senator looks abnormally pale when he turns back around, a shaking hand dropping the phone from his ear. 

“The press knows everything, someone leaked the information.” He says solemnly and Josh almost sobs with relief, thanking every god up there. 

Tyler whistles and the senator’s head snaps up to look at him. “I’d hate to be you right now, every police squad in the area is probably out looking for you.” He says and the Senator’s eyes widen as though that fact had only just dawned on him. 

“Kill them then get me out of here.” He says before running to the car and climbing in. 

But before anyone can kill them, Josh and Tyler are able to fight off the men holding them. One of the guys holding Josh puts up a pretty big fight and, in the time it takes Josh to knock him out, with his injury holding him back, Tyler has managed to take out three more guys. Three of them manage to make it to the car containing the congressman who is shouting about getting him “the fuck out of here” and it speeds away. 

Tyler kicks one of the guys on the floor to finish him off before he can grab his gun and at the same time he hears Josh yelp, without hesitating Tyler turns and pulls a gun on the guy shooting him in the kneecap so he collapses to the floor and Josh can sucker punch him so hard he falls to the floor unconscious. 

They’re both heaving jagged breaths clothes filthy and face splattered with blood, cuts and bruises already appearing on their skin. Tyler’s nose is bleeding and his cheek is pretty scratched up but Josh has a black eye and a nasty cut across his cheekbone. 

Instantly Tyler drops the gun and staggers to his lover, relief making him almost cry as he finally holds Josh again. 

“We did it.” Josh says and Tyler nods and kisses him hard. 

When they pull apart, Josh can no longer hide the pain in his leg behind the mask of adrenaline. He whines and collapses into Tyler’s arms. 

“Hey, hold in there.” Tyler says literally carrying Josh towards his car and putting him on the back seat. He inspects the wound and grimaces at the sight before he’s ripping his belt out of its loops and wrapping around the top of Josh’s leg to stop the blood flow. 

Josh hisses as Tyler pulls a rag out of his glove box and begins trying to soak up some of the blood and once it’s visible enough Tyler’s looking at him. 

“You didn’t tell me you were shot?”

“You were a little busy.” Josh bites back before slumping back in the seat. “I took the bullet out.” He slurs a little and Tyler takes a sharp breath. 

“That’s literally the dumbest thing you could’ve done Josh. If you die on me I’ll kill you.” Tyler says and Josh is too sleepy to tell him that doesn’t make any sense. 

“Stay awake.” Tyler says before he’s yanking the cigarette lighter from where he turned it on a minute ago and moving back over to where Josh is lay. 

“Bite your sleeve, this is gonna hurt.” Tyler instructs and Josh weakly lifts his arm, doing as he’s told just in time to almost scream as Tyler presses the lighter to his bullet hole, cauterising the wound shut. 

Josh is panting but Tyler loosens the belt on his leg and assesses that it will do until he can get Josh to somewhere that can treat him professionally. Josh’s eyes flutter shut. 

“Baby, stay with me, I’m getting us out of here.” Tyler says as he makes sure Josh is fully lay across the backseats before getting into the drivers’ seat and pulling out of the parking lot. 

“We’re gonna be okay Josh, we made it.” Tyler promises as Josh clings to consciousness and Tyler drives off down the highway, just as the sun sets in front of them. “We’re gonna get a second chance, _together_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TYLER AND JOSH WILL RETURN IN THE SEQUEL...
> 
> ...AT SOME POINT BC IDK WHEN I'LL WRITE THAT YET.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this fic. i literally feel like crying because this fic was my baby for so long and now it's finished and wow i just don't even know what to say but thanks so much for all the comments and kudos etc! Lots of loveeeeeee


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